Hold Your Breath and Close Your Eyes
by Chayo1197
Summary: Based on the preview for Blame It on the Alcohol. Kurt is devastated by the results of spin the bottle and decides that some changes need to be made.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guise! Me again! Now if you've been keeping up with the second season of Glee chances are that you saw the preview where Blaine and Rachel kiss. Being Team Kurt I personally was freaking out. Until next week this fanfic is going to hold me over XD but whatever happens I'm going to finish this. Please enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

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* * *

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I don't want to screw this up.

_I don't want to screw this up._

I don't want to screw this up.

Blaine was screwing it up.

Royally.

He was royally screwing it up.

Kurt's jaw dropped and his body seemed to convulse in anger. His neck snapped to the side and his eyes widened.

Blaine was kissing Rachel.

It wasn't a drunken kiss at all. Had they been pretending to be drunk in the first place? Kurt didn't feel drunk. He brought his own Fiji water thank you very much. But Blaine…and Rachel…

Blaine's hands were cupping Rachel's cheeks and it's as if they were molded to fit each other. It was all so perfect. Neither opened their mouth so it was a closed-mouth kiss but…they pulled away and lingered there for a moment, their eyes flickering over each other's faces. Blaine gazed at Rachel's eyes, her nose, her lips…

Kurt should know, they had kissed directly in front of him.

"Okay I think we've seen enough!" He practically screeched, clapping his hands in hopes to shove them both out of their love daze.

To no avail, of course.

For the rest of the night Blaine and Rachel kept stealing glances at each other. Occasionally they would catch each other's eyes and lock for a moment. Rachel would blush and turn away and a corner of Blaine's mouth would rise in a half-smile.

Kurt wouldn't have so much detail if they hadn't insisted on sitting on either side of him. But they did. And Kurt hated them both for it.

He couldn't take it. Around one in the morning Kurt told Rachel he felt sick and needed to go home.

"Booze get to you?" Rachel asked, giggling.

Kurt never wanted to hit a girl this badly.

"Yeah." He mumbled.

He went over to the corner where everyone had piled their things and started to dig out his sleeping bag and overnight bag. He bit his lip hard in order to keep any and all tears in until he at least made it out to his car. He wasn't going to cry here. Not here.

A tap on the shoulder sent his heart into his throat.

He looked over to see Blaine looking a bit confused. _The alcohol of course_, Kurt though dryly.

"Everything okay?" Blaine asked with concern in his voice.

Kurt turned back to the pile of bags and gritted his teeth.

"Fine. I just don't feel well."

"I can drive you home if-"

"No!"

Kurt startled himself at the tone of his voice. Turning and seeing Blaine's surprise, he supposed he started Blaine as well.

"Sorry, just…no. I'm fine."

Blaine was quiet as Kurt slung the strap of his sleeping bag over his shoulder. He said goodnight to everyone, which went unnoticed as they went about their drunken activities of falling over and mumbling incoherently to each other.

Kurt was at the door when Blaine's soft voice stopped him.

"See you tomorrow?"

Kurt started to look back when he decided against it and simply nodded.

"Yep."

He closed the front door and the tears came instantly.

Godamn it.

He stomped over to his car, opening the trunk and throwing his things inside before slamming it shut. He stomped to the driver's side and opened the door, practically throwing himself in and slamming the door before breaking down. Sobs filled the car as Kurt wrapped his arms around himself. He was trembling uncontrollably. His lungs felt like they were empty and his heart was shattering. He felt each piece drift into the oblivion of his body and become a simple sprinkle in his blood.

Why?

Why couldn't things work out for once? Why couldn't one thing go his way?

He saw Blaine as his savior. He was Kurt's mentor who helped him confront Karofsky and join the Warblers. He gave Kurt confidence. They sang songs together. Blaine wanted Kurt at his side when they sang Hey Soul Sister in front of an audience. Blaine helped Kurt practice for his first audition. Blaine knew his coffee order.

He and Rachel were just starting to see eye to eye. They were _friends_. They had a sleepover to support each other. Rachel sang a duet with him when no one else would (or rather Finn wouldn't let anyone else). She said they were the same person.

Then why were they doing this to him?

He was just beginning to make progress with this miserable thing called life. He'd gotten over Finn and Sam proved to be a lady's man. If he was even single Kurt wouldn't dream of ever dating Karofsky. Blaine was perfect. He was perfect in every single way.

But why this?

He had overlooked the Gap Attack.

Blaine was clueless, obviously.

But he couldn't be this clueless.

It was impossible.

It had to be.

Kurt cried in front of the house for almost half an hour before calming down a bit. He put his keys in the ignition and let the car warm up a bit before taking off. As he drove he did the one thing he swore never to do: he left his radio off. No amount of music was going to heal this wound. He drove home in silence, the only noise his occasional sniffles of soft gasps for air.

He arrived home and left his things in the car, going right for the front door. His dad and Carole were asleep of course, so Kurt was thankful to not have their prying questions right now.

Going down the stairs to the basement seemed so foreign to him, but seeing his bed, his vanity, his things…he knew he was home.

He tossed his keys on the desk and went straight for bed. What was the point of a moisturizing routine when the only boy you could possibly end up with wasn't looking at you? His sheets were cool and crisp and his pillow was still firm. He snuggled a bit into his bed and closed his eyes. His breathing was still hitched, but he was focusing now on the back of his eyelids. He wanted to forget about Blaine Anderson right now.

Kurt Hummel focused on becoming numb.

* * *

He didn't sleep well that night.

Around four in the morning Kurt snuck out of the house and grabbed his things from out of his trunk. In all honestly he had gone to get his cell phone from his overnight bag so he could scroll through the sappy text messages that he had Blaine had exchanged.

Well, they weren't sappy to Blaine. Maybe just Kurt.

He hadn't been paying attention to the time when footsteps bounded down the stairs.

"Hey kiddo."

Kurt looked up and saw his father standing there, smiling softly.

"Dad?"

"Saw your car parked out front." Burt explained, watching his son. Kurt's eyes were rimmed lightly with red and his cheeks were pink. Burt knew what that meant.

"Sleepover go okay?"

Kurt nodded quickly. "Yeah, just…I felt a little sick so I came home early."

"Oh."

Kurt put his cell phone down on his nightstand, curling back up in the sheets and closing his eyes.

"You know Kurt…you can talk to me if you need to."

Kurt opened his eyes slowly. "I know dad."

Silence filled the room and Kurt supposed that his dad was waiting for Kurt to say something. But how? The last time Kurt talked to his dad about boy problems Burt simply said that Kurt would have to go it alone.

Why was that fair? Because he was different? Kurt had found someone different like him. At least he thought he had. And he still was going it alone. While the McKinley glee club was trading boyfriends and girlfriends like a game of Go Fish, Kurt was stuck with a card that no one wanted.

"Kurt?"

Kurt closed his eyes. "I'm fine dad. Really."

Burt bit his lip, fidgeting a little. "Do you want to talk to Carole or-"

"No dad I don't want to talk to Carole." Kurt said softly. He was trying really hard to contain his anger but his father was making it particularly difficult this morning.

Burt nodded. "Okay kid. Just…come talk to me later okay?"

"Sure dad."

Kurt listened to his father walk back up the stairs and close the door softly. He then laid there alone, opening his eyes and staring at the wall opposite him.

Kurt understood that he was different. But weren't they all? Wasn't that what glee club was about at McKinley? It was about bringing people from different cliques and making one beautiful sound together. They all seemed to fit in with each other despite their regular bickering.

But that was McKinley.

Kurt was at Dalton now. And Dalton was all about conforming. They all wore uniforms for a reason right?

So all Kurt had to do was numb himself. He had to control himself, control his emotions and conform to the norm.

It sounded painful.

Kurt's entire life up until now was making the world know he was different. It was the best part about him. He loved being different. He stood out. He was special.

Sometimes being special sucks.

So there in his bedroom, Kurt made a promise to himself that he would hold everything in. He wouldn't make himself stand out. People didn't like that apparently, neither at McKinley nor Dalton. He would dull himself and fit it. Maybe people would like him then.

Maybe he'd find someone then.

He wasn't going to screw this up.


	2. Chapter 2

Whoa you guys, I really wasn't expecting the response to this story that I recieved. I'm so glad everyone is enjoying this story! Thank you all for reading, favoriting and reviewing! It really means a lot to me :) Please enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

* * *

Carole stared wide-eyed at Kurt.

"…I'm sorry, could you repeat that Kurt?"

Kurt blinked innocently.

"Can I please have some bacon this morning?"

"…honey, are you sick?"

"No, why?"

"You never eat bacon. Isn't it bad for your pores?"

Kurt shrugged. "I've found that my priorities, while having been made in a good-natured way, are horribly vain of me. So I've decided to change things beginning today, starting with bacon." He lifted his plate up to Carole's eye level. "Can I please have some?"

"…well, alright." Carole scooped up a couple of pieces of bacon onto Kurt's plate, still watching him with worried eyes.

Kurt smiled up at her and went to the toaster, where four waffles had popped up nice and crispy. He grabbed all four and went on to slather inhuman amounts of butter over their sides before using the normal Mrs. Buttersworth syrup to drown them. Now it was Carole who was starting to feel sick.

"Burt!"

Burt's footsteps were heard walking from upstairs, and he soon appeared in the kitchen doorway. "Yeah hun?"

Carole tilted her head towards Kurt, who was sitting unsuspectingly at the table and eating. Burt looked to his son and felt his eyes widen at the sight of Kurt's plate. There wasn't an inch that wasn't covered in thick maple syrup.

Kurt hated syrup of any kind. The only way Burt could get him to eat pancakes or waffles was to buy him a sugar-free syrup that was basically water. Even then it was a rarity for Kurt. This was earth-shattering to say the very least.

Burt walked over to his son and touched his shoulder gently. Kurt looked up, a mouth full of bacon mashed together with waffles. No cloth napkin in sight. Kurt hated using paper napkins. 'Bad for the environment,' He said.

"Good morning, kiddo." Burt said softly, trying to hide his surprised tone.

Luckily it seemed Kurt didn't notice. "Good morning dad." He mumbled through a mouth full of food, chewing a bit more before swallowing a Finn-portioned meal.

"Feeling okay?"

Kurt blinked, looking up at Burt. Was he really acting that much out of character? "Yeah, fine dad."

"Still need to talk?"

Kurt shook his head. "No, I'm fine."

Burt looked a bit worried, but nodded and patted Kurt's back. Kurt would come to him when he was ready. Burt couldn't push him. Obviously something was going on.

He sat down and Carole served him his own breakfast of toast, egg whites and sausage links. The poor woman had to keep from fainting when Kurt asked for seconds.

* * *

Kurt was busy working in the basement when his cell phone rang. He set the brush down and sighed, going over to the stairs and opening his phone. "Hello?"

"Hey it's Finn."

"Hey, what's up?"

"…..did I get the wrong number?"

Kurt blinked. "I don't think so."

"This is Kurt?"

"….yeah."

"…you never say 'what's up'. I said it one time and you practically killed me."

"I did? I'm sorry."

"…It's okay dude. Uh…oh, can you come get me? We're all eating breakfast but I still need a ride home. Everyone else is too hung over to even think of driving right now."

"No problem."

"Thanks and…uh…." Finn's voice lowered to a whisper. "Why did you go last night?"

Kurt bit his lip. He wasn't counting on anyone caring that he left. Why would they when the life of the party was liquor?

"I wasn't feeling well."

"Did you get alcohol poisoning?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Finn if I had alcohol poisoning I wouldn't be able to speak to you right now. My dad would be busy murdering me for even looking at a beer."

"Oh…you didn't tell my mom did you?"

"No, I haven't told anyone. Look I'm coming over okay?"

"Okay dude, see you in a few."

"See ya."

When Finn hung up, he felt a bit confused. He had called Kurt 'dude' twice and Kurt hadn't said anything. Usually he was all over Finn's use of the English language. Maybe Kurt was sick.

Kurt looked around his room and sighed. He would have to finish later. He went into the bag of his things on the stairs and grabbed his wallet and keys, walking upstairs. Carole was still in the kitchen washing dishes, her back to him.

"Hey Carole?"

Carole turned around and her heart almost stopped beating at the sight of Kurt.

"Uh…."

"I'm going to get Finn." Kurt smiled sheepishly. "I forgot that I need to bring him home."

"…uhm…."

"Be back later." Kurt smiled at her and went to his car, passing his father in the living room on the couch with the television on. Burt glanced over and he did a double take. His eyes widened at the sight of Kurt, speechless. Kurt closed the front door and Burt heard his car engine starting before there was silence.

"…..did you see that?" Carole asked, standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room.

Burt nodded, wide-eyed still.

"Yeah."

* * *

Finn rubbed his eyes, sitting at Rachel's dining room table. The glee club, minus Kurt and plus Blaine, was sitting there as well, food on their plates as they groaned and moaned over their headaches.

"I'm never, ever taking another drink as long as I live." Rachel mumbled.

"Me as well." Blaine said softly, pushing his food around on his plate. "My head is killing me."

Puck walked in from the kitchen with a cup of coffee. "Wusses. Am I the only one badass enough to drink that much and still feel like a champ in the morning?"

Mercedes rested her head on the table. "Quit shouting."

Puck grinned. "I'll take that as a yes."

There was a knock at the door and everyone's heart stopped.

"Rachel I thought your dads weren't coming home until tonight."

"They aren't supposed to." Rachel whispered.

Finn stood up, groaning at the sudden blood rush to his head.

"It's not her dads. I called Kurt to come pick me and Blaine up."

Rachel moved a little closer to Blaine. "Blaine's going with you?"

Finn looked over, raising an eyebrow. "Uh, yeah. Him and Kurt have school tomorrow so they're driving back to Westerville together."

Blaine glanced at Rachel, eyebrow raised. "That's right. Kurt and I carpooled here since it wouldn't make much sense driving two separate cars to the same places."

Rachel's earnest brown eyes gazed up at Blaine. "Will you ever come back to visit?"

"…..I guess?"

"Oh, I know, we can exchange emails and phone numbers. Do you have Facebook?"

"…uh…"

"Of course he does. Just look at my friends list Rachel, he's on there."

The glee clubbers all looked over. Mercedes almost screamed. Rachel felt faint. Blaine felt even more confused. Santana smirked and Brittany balanced a piece of bacon on her nose.

Kurt was wearing a shirt and jeans.

They were both stained with paint.

Kurt was wearing paint-stained clothes.

Were paint stains a design?

Nope.

Even his hair…it wasn't brushed. It was just…he had a bedhead.

"Kurt, you feeling okay?" Mercedes asked, not able to take her eyes off of his horribly normal clothes.

Kurt's eyebrows pushed together. "Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

Rachel pointed at his shirt. "That."

Kurt looked down. "Oh, sorry. I was working on my room before I got here."

Finn stood behind Kurt, looking as confused as the others. He shrugged when Rachel looked at him and went down the hall. Kurt smiled at the group. "How are you all feeling?"

"….ugh."

Reminded of their headaches, Mercedes pressed the cool glass of orange juice to her forehead and Rachel rubbed her temple. The shock of Kurt's non-designer brand clothes only seemed to make her head pound harder.

Blaine took this opportunity to slide away from Rachel's watch and go to Kurt. "Hey, what happened last night?"

Kurt looked at him strangely before Finn walked back to them, smiling. "Got my stuff. Yours too Blaine."

Blaine looked over and grabbed his things from Finn. "Oh, thanks." He glanced back to Kurt, who was already heading out to the car. He started to follow when someone grabbed his arm. Turning around he saw Rachel gripping him.

"Wait, let me have your phone."

Blaine stared at her oddly, fishing his phone out of his pocket and handing it to her. She put her number in his contacts and smiled. "There! Now we can talk wherever we are."

"….thanks?"

He walked out a bit faster now, putting his things in the trunk of the car along with Finn's. He started to open the door to the back seat when he was whipped around and kissed. His eyes widened instantly as he saw Rachel there, her lips pressed desperately against his.

Glancing over he saw Kurt in the driver's seat watching them with an indifferent expression on his face.

_Crap_!

He pushed away from Rachel, looking at her.

"What are you doing?"

"Kissing you goodbye." Rachel kissed him again and Blaine moved away from her. "Rachel I-"

"I know." She said, putting a finger over his lips. "I love you too."

If Blaine's eyes widened any more he would have empty sockets.

What the hell was going on?

He hurriedly got into Kurt's car. Rachel stayed in the driveway, waving and smiling. Kurt felt disgusted, but inhaled and then exhaled.

It would be fine. Everything was fine.

"Do you guys have any idea what that was about?"

Finn looked back at Blaine from the passenger's seat. "No dude. I thought you were gay."

"I am!" Blaine said, snapping his seatbelt on.

"It didn't look like it." Finn said. Why was this morning so confusing? He was never drinking again.

"Didn't look like it last night either." Kurt mumbled.

Both boys turned to look at him.

"What?"

Kurt glanced in the rearview mirror at Blaine.

"You and Rachel seemed to have hit it off splendidly."

Blaine bit his lip. "Kurt I didn't-"

"You don't have to explain to me." Kurt said, shrugging.

Finn watched his stepbrother, his eyes soft. They all knew how much Kurt liked Blaine. This had to be killing him inside.

The rest of the car drive was quiet. Finn grabbed his things and hurried into the house where Burt and Carole were talking on the couch. When Finn opened the door they both looked over with wide eyes as if they were expecting a shoot out or something.

Finn blinked. "….hi?"

"Finn!" They both ran over to him. "Did you see Kurt?" "What's going on with my boy, Finn?"

Finn looked at them both. "I…I don't know. I just woke up I don't know anything."

"Something had to have happened at the sleepover, Finn." Carole whispered.

Finn bit his lip, looking to the two adults.

"Well-"

"We're home." Kurt announced, walking in with Blaine right behind him.

"Oh good!" Carole said, her voice a bit high-pitched.

"Tell us later." Burt mumbled to Finn, who nodded.

"Oh, I think I forgot my wallet in the car." Kurt mumbled, going back outside.

"Come on Blaine, we can set the stuff in me and Kurt's room."

Blaine nodded, following Finn through the kitchen and down the stairs.

Seeing the room, Finn yelled.

"MOM!"

Carole rushed over to the stairs, running down before screaming as well.

"BURT!"

Burt scrambled over and ran down the stairs. Seeing what he saw….

Kurt's room was completely different. Gone were the Dior gray and the white furniture. The walls were pale beige, and the furniture Burt recognized from the attic. A plain wooden desk, a old torn up arm chair and a small mirror attached to the wall replaced everything that Kurt had. Only Kurt and Finn's beds across from each other remained the same.

"Holy…."

"Do you guys like it?"

The four turned to look at Kurt, smiling at the top of the stairs, before looking at the changed room.

"Kurt, what…uh…."

"Oh, dad, don't worry about the furniture." Kurt said, grinning. "I sold it all on eBay this morning and even made a profit. I can pay you back for all the ridiculously priced things you got me."

Burt was speechless. He never minded buying Kurt what he wanted. Sure it was expensive but they could afford it. Why was he throwing away what he loved so dearly?

Kurt pushed passed them all and walked to the middle of the room, smiling. "Finn I hope you like it. I know you thought our old room was creepy."

Finn looked around, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, yeah but…"

Kurt threw open the closet doors and Carole almost shrieked. All of Kurt's designer clothes were gone.

"I even cleaned out the closet for you Finn. Since I'm not here most of the time and all I wear is my uniform I figured you could use it more than I could."

They were all speechless. Kurt stood there with a soft smile on his face, watching his family.

What happened to Kurt?


	3. Chapter 3

You guys honestly crack me up and make my days so much more awesome. I logged in this morning with like a million favorites and reviews. I just checked my email again and there was another billion! Thank you all so much! I'm glad you love this story! Please enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee

* * *

"Careful!"

Finn froze, sitting on his bed and slightly hunched over, inches away from his back touching the wall.

Kurt ran over and touched the wall with his hand, pulling it away and examining his skin.

"Oh, never mind. The paint's dry."

Finn let the breath he was holding out and leaned against the wall. Carole and Burt were busy upstairs, trying to figure out what was wrong with Kurt. Something had to have brought on this sudden change. Did he need therapy?

Finn didn't mind it much. He kind of preferred this Kurt. He wasn't being yelled at or told how he was as sharp as a tissue anymore.

He glanced over to Blaine, who was sitting on Kurt's bed with an odd look on his face. He was deep in thought, watching Kurt as he bagged up his designer clothes carefully. It had only been a few hours since he put his things up on eBay but they had sold fast.

But why was Kurt getting rid of his things?

Blaine's heart jumped as he saw Kurt throw together his scarves.

"Kurt aren't those all Alexander McQueen?"

Kurt looked over at him. "…yeah, so?"

"You love Alexander McQueen."

Kurt smiled softly, going back to packing the scarves. "They hardly go with my Dalton uniform. I don't need them anymore.

"But…you love scarves."

Kurt stopped and the memories of the coffee shop came running back into his mind. Blaine had been so sweet that day, telling Kurt that his favorite holiday was Valentine's Day. That the puppy love doll was cute.

That he wanted to serenade some junior manager at the Gap.

"I used to love scarves." Kurt mumbled.

Blaine frowned, rubbing his temple. Something had happened last night. Something that was upsetting Kurt and making him throw away his things.

Then his cell phone vibrated.

He took it out of his pocket and looked at the screen.

Rachel

Rachel?

Why was Rachel-….

Oh.

"_Who wants to play spin the bottle?"_

Oh.

_The bottle landed on Blaine, and he more than willingly leaned over and pulled Rachel close, kissing her softly._

Oh.

_He pulled away, gazing at her with soft eyes. She looked so beautiful right now, in this light. Her face was aglow and her eyes were sparkling. He cupped her cheek and just watched her. She was beautiful._

Oh.

_Blaine heard clapping and Kurt yelling in his ear. "Okay I think we've seen enough!" But it was in a different voice. It was the voice that Kurt had when he was trying not to cry._

_Oh._

"Finn, can I talk to Kurt alone?"

Finn glanced over, getting off his bed. "Yeah-"

"No Finn that's not necessary."

Both boys looked over to Kurt, who was sitting at his desk.

Finn blinked. "But-"

"Blaine and I have nothing to talk about."

Blaine sighed, watching Kurt with soft eyes. He wasn't going to argue here. They still had to drive back to Dalton together. Blaine would talk then.

Kurt worked at his computer silently for most of the afternoon. Around two in the afternoon he got up and grabbed the bags of his old things. Finn had fallen asleep, but Blaine stood up and went over, taking a bag.

"Let me help."

Kurt didn't say anything so Blaine followed him upstairs and to his car. They piled Kurt's things into the trunk until it was full, and then started putting them in the back seat.

It was a bit sad to have his whole life now in sad plastic bags, ready to be shipped off. But Kurt knew he needed to do this. He had to.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?"

Kurt glanced to Blaine, who was panting softly at his side.

He looked back to the bags, closing the door and walking back into the house.

"Kurt."

Kurt turned around and looked at Blaine, standing in the same spot. He was biting his lip, his eyebrows pushed upwards.

"I…"

"…."

The two boys stood there across from each other. Kurt jammed his hands into his pockets and Blaine's arms dangled uselessly at his sides. Kurt's hair was slightly wavy, sticking up a bit while Blaine's hair was a mess of curls.

"What Blaine?"

Blaine opened his mouth, wanting to say something. He wanted to say anything that would comfort Kurt. That would stop this madness. But what?

"….I was drunk."

Kurt raised his eyebrows at that.

"….you know they say that a person's true nature comes out when they're drunk." He mumbled.

Blaine felt cornered. "But I…."

Kurt watched him expectantly. Blaine bit his lip, his eyes moving to the concrete driveway as he searched for the words.

"…I told you I was no good at this."

A sharp laugh made Blaine look up.

Kurt laughed at him.

He felt his cheeks burn.

"No good at what, Blaine?" Kurt asked. "No good at keeping your hands to yourself? No good at handling your liquor? No good at being a friend?"

Tears burned in his eyes. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You never mean to hurt me." Kurt said. "You didn't mean to hurt me with the Gap Attack. You didn't mean to hurt me when you told me to tone it down. You didn't mean to hurt me with flirty duets. You didn't mean to hurt me by kissing Ra-…" He couldn't even bring himself to say her name. He smiled bitterly and shook his head.

"You know what? It's fine Blaine."

Blaine watched him, shaking his head. "It's not-"

"It is, it's fine. I don't care. Guys always disappoint me. Why should you be any different?"

Kurt walked into the house, leaving the front door wide open for Blaine to walk in. Blaine stayed outside for a moment, his cell phone vibrating in his pocket again.

* * *

Dinner that night was quiet. Burt cleared his throat occasionally, but that and the scraping of metal utensils against plates were the only sounds at the dinner table.

The house had been thrown into an uncomfortable silence since that afternoon. Blaine stayed in the basement while Kurt went to the post office and mailed his things out to strangers who would wear them but never take as good of care of them as Kurt did. He came home with the money that had been sent to his bank account and gave it to his dad despite Burt's protests that he didn't need it.

"Think of it as a down payment on my debt." Kurt told him.

Burt took the money.

After dinner Blaine and Kurt got their things and walked to the car. Burt, Carole and Finn hugged Kurt and told him to drive safe, see you next weekend. Kurt nodded, smiling at Finn before getting in the car. Blaine was sitting in the passenger's seat, belt on, staring ahead. The driveway was illuminated when Kurt turned his headlights on and he backed out. He waved to his family once more before taking off, heading for the freeway.

The first half an hour was silent. Kurt still hadn't turned the radio on. Blaine was sitting there trying to think of something to say to the boy beside him. But what would fix this?

"…Mind if I turn on the radio?" Blaine asked softly.

Kurt shrugged.

Blaine leaned over and pressed the button. Static filled the car and Blaine slowly turned the dial, looking for a station.

Finally there was a clear one and he left it there.

He instantly regretted it.

_-dug my key into the side  
Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive  
Carved my name into his leather seat  
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights  
Slashed a hole in all 4 tires_

He reached over to change the station, but not before the last line of the chorus played.

_Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats._

Blaine turned the radio off, sinking back into his seat. He stole a glance at Kurt, whose expression hadn't changed since they left Lima.

"…I'm not a cheater." He said softly, looking at Kurt.

"Never said you were." Kurt mumbled.

Blaine looked back to the road in front of them, his cheeks burning with embarrassment. Damn you Carrie Underwood.

Silence dominated the car for another hour, before Blaine broke it again.

"What are we going to do?"

Kurt's eyebrows raised slightly.

"About what?"

"…this."

Kurt glanced over, and Blaine was looking right at him. He looked back to the road, shrugging. "What is this?"

"Friendship."

Kurt smirked. "Oh, is that what it is?"

"…I thought so." Blaine said softly.

"It's up to you Blaine." Kurt said, shrugging again. "I don't care to worry about a draining friendship like this one."

"How is it draining?"

Kurt looked over to Blaine, and he sighed.

"That type of crap may work on girls but it doesn't work on me." Kurt said.

"What crap?"

"That cutesy acting dumb crap."

"I'm not acting."

Kurt let out a short laugh and Blaine blushed again.

"You know what Blaine? You do you and I'll do me. Don't worry about me."

"How am I not supposed to?"

"You've been doing a phenomenal job up until now."

Blaine closed his eyes. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. This was just a horrid nightmare.

His vibrating cell phone told him different.

He pulled it out and sighed when he saw the name that had been appearing on his screen all day.

"If she's started calling you Blainey bear I'm going to be sick."

"Not yet. She's started calling us Raine though. It's her message signature."

Kurt shook his head, smiling bitterly.

"I'm going to be sick anyway."


	4. Chapter 4

I love you all. Honestly I do. Thank you all for reading this! I was not at all expecting the positive response I've gotten so far and I hope I don't disappoint any of you! Thank you all for reading, favoriting and reviewing! Please enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

* * *

"Blaine."

The boy turned around at the sound of his name to see Wes and David walking towards him. They sat on either side of him, serious looks on their faces.

Blaine looked at them both.

"What's going on guys?"

"What did you say to Kurt?"

Oh God.

That was the question he had been avoiding since they got back to Dalton. It didn't take much for the Warblers to see that Kurt had changed. At the first meeting the last few seconds where Kurt usually said something was eerily silent, and everyone turned to him. Kurt seemed to have taken an interest in the carpet design as he stared at it with a hard stare.

It had been a week of awkward silences, fumbling and trying to avoid Rachel on any electronic device used to communicate.

"I didn't say anything…per se." He mumbled the last part.

"Well whatever happened, it's wonderful."

Blaine blinked, looking at Wes. "Wonderful?"

"Yes of course! He hasn't been complaining about solos, he hasn't made any unnecessary comments or suggestions."

"I think he finally understands what it means to be a part of Dalton, of the Warblers." David added, and Wes nodded.

"For us all to be great we must all support each other and blend in with one another. Kurt finally understands that."

Blaine didn't understand.

Didn't they see what a wreck Kurt was? Sure he was being quieter but that meant something. Quiet wasn't something Kurt was. Kurt was loud and bright. If he had an idea then he would voice it. If he had an opinion then he would voice it.

Blaine wasn't used to the Kurt who sat in the background and nodded at everything that was said. He wasn't used to Kurt not talking, Kurt's voice not rising above the rest of theirs.

"-ine? Blaine!"

He shook his head a bit. "Sorry, what was that?"

"I was saying that now is the time Kurt should get a solo."

Blaine's eyes snapped to David.

Wes nodded. "The council discussed it and now that Kurt has proven that he has the talent to control himself, he should be rewarded."

Rewarded.

God, had they always sounded like this? Like dog trainers giving a kicked puppy a treat?

"I'll talk to him." Blaine said softly. He wanted to be the one to tell Kurt some good news for once. Wes nodded and smiled.

"Sounds good. We'll see you tonight at rehearsal. Four-"

"Four-thirty sharp." Blaine finished. Wes said it every time they talked. Did he honestly think after two years that Blaine would forget that?

Wes and David nodded, patting his shoulder as they passed by and left.

Blaine sighed softly, getting up from the table and walking into the hall towards Kurt's room.

There was one of two ways that this could go.

On the one hand Kurt could throw things, be it at the wall or at Blaine directly, and scream about how he hated them all. Why were they giving him a solo now that he no longer had the motivation to awe an audience with his angelic-like singing, let alone the motivation to live since Blaine betrayed him with one of his close friends in a drunken act of sheer stupidity? Then he would take the solo and sing such a dramatic, heart-tugging song that there would nay be a dry eye in the practice room, and then very soon at regionals.

Or Kurt could instantly forgive him and sing such a dramatic, heart-tugging song that there would nay be a dry eye in the practice room, and then very soon at regionals anyway.

Really. It could go either way.

He arrived at Kurt's door and sighed softly. He adjusted his blazer and straightened his tie, clearing his throat and brushing his bangs away. It was like preparing for war. When the door opened before Blaine knocked it was like the enemy pulled out a surprise attack.

Kurt stared at Blaine, who looked startled and uncomfortable.

"Hi."

"How did you know I was here?"

"You made so much noise just standing there."

Blaine blushed, sighing. "Can I come in please?"

Kurt opened the door wider, motioning for Blaine to come in. Blaine walked in, looking around the room and sighing. This room seemed to have suffered the same fate as the basement. Any and all decoration was stripped from the walls. The only difference was Pavarotti's cage on the desk with the bird flitting around in it.

"What can we do for you?"

Blaine blinked. "'We'?"

Kurt motioned a shoulder to Pavarotti. "The bird."

"Oh." He chuckled. "Seems a little desolate doesn't it?"

Kurt tilted his head back a bit and raised an eyebrow at him.

Blaine cleared his throat, folding his hands behind his back. "The council has decided to give you a solo."

Kurt stared at the other for a long moment.

"…."

"…."

"….and?"

"I thought you'd be happy." Blaine smiled slightly. "You've wanted a solo since you got here. It's a song of your choice. The rest of us will be singing right behind you, backing you up."

"Do you think that's what I want?"

Blaine's eyebrows pushed together. "…Well, yeah."

Kurt smiled softly at Pavarotti before glancing to Blaine. The smile dropped off of his face as soon as their eyes locked.

"Why now?"

"What do you mean?"

Blaine jumped as Kurt slammed his fist on the desk. Pavarotti let out a soft whistle.

"Don't act like an idiot, Blaine. You know what I mean."

Blaine's heart beat wildly in his chest as he watched Kurt. He had changed. He truly changed, but it wasn't for the better like Wes and David seemed to think. This wasn't the Kurt whose courage Blaine had admired the day of his failed spy attempt. This Kurt…he didn't know what to make of this Kurt.

"Because you changed." Blaine answered softly.

Kurt uncurled his fist, not looking at Blaine. So it had worked. His experiment had worked. And he wasn't pleased with the results. So the Warblers had taken notice of his change. And they liked it. They liked him now. They were accepting him now. They were giving him the one thing he always wanted but never received anywhere. Not at McKinley, and not at Dalton at first.

That had changed with him.

"Kurt?" Blaine asked softly.

"I don't want it."

Blaine's eyes widened slightly. "You don't want-"

"The solo, correct."

"….Kurt you can't do this."

Kurt tilted his head back and laughed softly. "Of course I can Blaine. If you can all refuse to see me, then I can refuse to see you."

Blaine took a step forward. "That isn't how the world works."

Kurt looked over to him finally. "And you know this because all of your worldly experience?"

Blaine nodded. "Yes."

Kurt shook his head, smiling darkly. "You don't know anything about the real world, Blaine Anderson. You have no idea of how the world works."

"Kurt-"

"You all sit in here in your polished cages. Your seed and water is here, and you can see the scenery perfectly from your perch. What more do you need? What is the need to venture out into the world when you're perfectly content to watch from behind iron bars?"

Blaine's throat felt dry and his heart ached. What was Kurt doing? Why was he doing this?

Kurt turned his back on Blaine, opening Pavarotti's cage and catching the bird in his hand. "Toys hang from the bars and you can peck at them all day whenever you want. Trainers teach you what to think and how do to things and you follow and listen like the witless birds you are."

He opened his hand and Pavarotti stood in the middle of his palm like magic, his head moving from side to side as he examined his surroundings.

"When you're on the outside world…when something foreign enters your world, it's a danger. You have to kill it before it kills you."

Pavarotti bounced to perch on one of Kurt's fingers, and he sang.

Kurt smiled softly at the bird.

"Congratulations Blaine. You killed me."

Blaine hardly recognized the wet sensation on his cheeks as tears. His breathing was hard and ragged as he watched Kurt stroke Pavarotti's back slowly and gently with the tip of his finger.

"I'm not doing a solo. If you don't tell Wes and David then I will."

Blaine took a few slow breaths, wiping his eyes slowly. "I never said anything about Wes and David."

"Do you have to?" Kurt looked over to Blaine with a dull look in his eyes. He moved over and gently let Pavarotti back into his cage, closing the small door. "I'm not an idiot Blaine. I know how Dalton and the Warblers work. I know who pulls the strings."

"You have to do a solo. If you refuse then your reputation as a Warbler is destroyed. Others would kill for a chance like this."

Kurt smiled softly at Blaine. "Then perhaps those who would should start taking lessons from you."

"Kurt." Blaine said firmly. "Please. You have to."

Kurt watched him for a long while, his hand curled underneath his chin.

"…I'll think about it."

Blaine let out a soft sigh, nodding. "I'll see you at practice. F-"

"Four-thirty sharp."

Blaine's heart skipped a beat and Kurt smiled sweetly at him. Blaine quickly made his way out of Kurt's room. For a moment he had forgotten how to walk, but was thankful for the ability to breathe once he was out of the room, door closed securely behind him.

Kurt watched the door for what seemed like days. Why did the world enjoy torturing him so?

First it was Finn. Sweet, lovable Finn who could do no wrong in anyone's eyes. Sure, Quinn could trick him into believing that he was the father of her baby and they could be friends later. But heaven forbid that Kurt flirt with him a little.

Then it was Finn again. For all Kurt knew, Sam could be completely and utterly in love with him. But Finn would never let another guy "go through" what he did. He and Sam never even had a chance.

Now it was Blaine. Did he really need to go into that?

He moved his focus onto Pavarotti, who was whistling a soft tune in his cage. Kurt smiled softly.

"Pavarotti, boys are idiots."


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys! Here's another chapter, please enjoy! And thank you once again for reading, favoriting and reviewing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

* * *

The familiar sound of the gavel hitting its stand quieted the room.

Wes smiled at the room of Warblers. "Attention, I now call this meeting to order."

The boys all took their seats, whether on couches or on the armrests of the couches, smiling at each other and waving hello to others. Kurt leaned against the bookcase against the wall farthest from the council's table. He didn't want to participate but he had to. He supposed one would call it a moral obligation.

What was 'moral' anymore anyways?

He supposed moral had a different meaning to everyone. To one Dave Karofsky that meant making Kurt's life a living hell because he accepted who he was and that, morally, was wrong. If not everyone was comfortable with being who they truly were then what gave Kurt the right?

To another Finn Hudson-Hummel that meant keeping Kurt and anyone of the same sex at least one football field length away from each other, lest anyone contract the disease Kurt carried. Side effects may include the urge to kiss boys and wear skin-tight jeans. Also known as the Katy Perry Effect.

Blaine Anderson figured that since he was a hot piece that he could get whoever he wanted whenever he wanted simply by turning on the charm of his voice. However that didn't necessarily apply to anyone he sang to or with. In Kurt's case, it did not apply. Performing an impromptu version of Baby It's Cold Outside in the light of the fireplace and flitting around the room together didn't mean anything of course. Singing at a Gap store to a man who may or may not have noticed your crush was much more romantic. Obviously. That's why it had worked so well.

He glanced over to the council. God, were they still going on?

It's not like it mattered if he listened or not. They said the same thing week after week. 'We aren't good enough. We still need a lot of practice. Tie that tie tighter.'

Would they ever be good enough? Kurt was all for perfection down to the finest detail but these boys took it past extreme. He wondered what they would all be doing after they graduated from here. When the cage doors were finally open, would they fly away?

No. They'd find their ways to other cages where their dictating had a place and live happily ever after as miserable birds.

Warblers for life.

"-the floor to Kurt Hummel, our special soloist."

The room filled with polite applause and Kurt was snapped from his thoughts. He looked directly to Wes, unafraid. Why would he fear a fluffed up pigeon?

"Gentlemen." Kurt said softly, smiling. He pushed away from the bookcase and started to walk slowly forward. "This afternoon when I received news that I would be receiving a solo, thanks to the wonderfully thoughtful council members," He nodded to Wes, who smiled politely at him.

"I immediately declined."

The room was silent and the smile fell from Wes's face.

"You do know what that means Kurt, don't you?" Wes asked.

Kurt chuckled softly, picking at the leather on one of the couches. "It means that I would not only be spitting in the face of my fellow Warblers, who have auditioned time and time again for solos, I would be spitting in the face of tradition where every Warbler is an equal and equal opportunities are spread as such."

He glanced back to the council, all glaring at him.

He chuckled again.

"Which is why I have changed my mind."

Blaine let out a relieved sigh, watching Kurt. Was he completely crazy or just slightly mental?

"Well, we are relieved to hear that. What suggestions did you have so that we may begin rehearsals?"

Kurt hummed softly. "Late last week, if you are familiar with pop culture in the slightest, Lady Gaga released a new track from her upcoming album-"

"Absolutely not."

Kurt smiled, watching Wes whose face seemed to be turning a deeper shade of anger every time Kurt looked back to him.

"With all due respect to the council, I believe that this song-"

"It is a wonderful tune, please don't get me wrong, but it isn't what the Warblers is about."

Kurt had to steal a glance to Blaine now. The boy looked as if he was going to burst into tears any moment.

Good.

"My apologies then. What songs to you suggest?"

As Wes ran down a list of the usual solos for the Warblers, Kurt listened with feigned interest. He might has well have just told them that they should stick with Hey Soul Sister. He was sure the judges would love hearing the same crap spewed at them over and over.

When Wes was done, Kurt nodded. "I'll think about the list and get back to you during tomorrow's meeting."

Wes smiled. "Very well then. Onto other business…"

The rest of rehearsal went by agonizingly slow. Kurt couldn't look at Wes anymore after that though. If he did he was sure to be sick or throw something at the boy.

When the gavel sounded again Kurt was the first one out of the room. He needed to be away from everyone right now. He needed to think. He needed to listen to something to get his mind off of things. And he needed to find a solo.

"Kurt!"

Damn it.

Kurt turned and saw Blaine jogging towards him, a worried look on his face. How cute.

"What?"

Blaine sighed softly, watching him. "Can't you forgive me? Please? It was just one mistake, a drunken-"

The sound of skin hitting skin echoed in the lightly filled hallway. Blaine's hazel eyes widened as his head snapped back at the impact. Kurt was small, but this slap landed hard.

Blaine stumbled back a step, holding his cheek. He barely had time to recover before Kurt walked away briskly.

"Blaine?"

He turned around to find Wes and David standing there.

"Oh-"

"Can you give this to Kurt?"

Really? Had they seriously not seen what just happened?

He looked down and saw the list of solos that Wes had read out loud in the meeting.

"Just something for him to think about, in case he forgets." David explained.

Blaine nodded, pulling his hand from his burning cheek and taking the list.

"I'll…ah….I'll take this to him then."

"We also have a question for you."

He could barely contain his anxiety. Of all times, why did they need to talk to him now? He was sort of having an emergency.

"Of course, what can I help you with?"

The two glanced at each other before leaning in close to Blaine.

"Was Kurt serious when he said he contemplated giving up the solo?"

"As you well know, solos are the highest honor given to a Warbler. He should be nothing but thankful that he has been chosen to lead us in song even after such a short time with us."

Blaine nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving the list of solos. "Yes, I know that very well."

"Then again someone with your talent need not worry about never getting solos, eh Blaine?"

His eyes snapped up to the two. "My talent?"

"Of course! Most solos are now yours due not only to your impeccable choice of songs and flawless voice, but as well as your humbleness and thankfulness. You, unlike someone we know, do not take solos for granted. When you are bestowed a solo you pick a song that not only highlights your voice but the voices of your fellow Warblers. Something that…Lady Gaga, cannot do."

Blaine felt like the glass walls around him were starting to crack. But…Kurt was talented. He was humble. Not all the time but he was. He had learned not to speak out of turn and had learned to blend in.

…but that wasn't Kurt.

Blaine simply nodded. "I'll talk to him about it."

The two smiled softly, patting his shoulder as they walked away.

Now what?

He sighed deeply, looking at the list again. Most of the songs on here they had already performed before. Or they had rehearsed and it had not made it into their repertoire. He reached a hand up and straightened his tie, clearing his throat and heading for Kurt's room.

His heart was pounding when he finally reached the door, and he knocked gently.

No answer.

Through the thick mahogany door he could hear a faint sound, but he couldn't clearly identify what it was.

He knocked again.

The noise seemed to go up an octave, and his eyebrows pushed together in worry.

"Kurt?"

He reached down and tried the knob. It was unlocked.

"I'm coming in, okay?"

When there was once again no answer, Blaine pushed the door open gently and walked in. Kurt lay still in the middle of the room, his uniform still on. His eyes were closed, his lips slightly parted.

Pavarotti's whistling continued to get louder. He was out of his cage, perched in the middle of Kurt's motionless chest.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys! Guess who finally got their laptop baaack? Me! I'm so happy! Now I can hopefully update this story and my others quicker. Thank you all for reading, favoriting and reviewing! Please enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee

* * *

He was floating.

He felt the sting of his hand slowly numbing. He felt the aching pain in his chest dulling. He felt the racing thoughts in his mind start to slow down until they were just random, unintelligible blurbs swimming in his head. The world was dark and he saw nothing but small black rivers in the black sky above. The soft chirping only made his paradise even more beautiful.

There was an earthquake.

His world trembled and the rivers flinched, but then all was okay once more. He heard a loud sound that made the chirping go up to a higher pitch.

A second earthquake hit.

Then it all came crashing down.

"KURT!"

He groaned and all the pain washed against him, and he was human again. His eyes snapped open when he felt someone shaking him. His eyes locked with Blaine's.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Kurt pushed him away, sitting up and panting softly. Blaine took a few steps back, watching Kurt with wide hazel eyes as he put a hand over his chest.

"Me?" He panted. "What the hell were you doing? You looked dead!"

Kurt glared at him. "Maybe you should stay out when no one answers then!"

Blaine's jaw hung open. "I was worried for you!"

Kurt scoffed, rolling his eyes and straightening his blazer, standing up slowly. "I'm perfectly fine."

"Oh I'm sorry." Blaine snapped. "I forgot that the abnormally sane pass their time by lying on a floor and holding their breath."

"That would mean you're not sane in the least." Kurt smiled. "Everyone does it."

"Everyone?"

"Everyone."

Blaine shook his head, out of words to argue with the other. Both boys turned their focus and watched Pavarotti bounce around on the carpet, whistling softly.

"What were you doing anyway?"

Kurt didn't look away from the bird.

"Exactly what it looked like."

Blaine raised an eyebrow. "Which is…?"

"I was holding my breath."

"Why?"

Kurt smiled amusedly at Blaine. "You never hold your breath?"

"Of course I hold my breath. When I'm swimming under water I hold my breath."

"I was swimming."

Blaine bit his lip. "I'm afraid I don't-"

"I was pretending not to exist."

Kurt kneeled down and carefully cupped his hands around Pavarotti, carrying him back to his cage. "You don't pretend to not exist?"

Blaine watched him, slightly and awe and in shock. "No. Never."

Kurt chuckled softly. "It's quite an experience. I used to do it a lot when the football players at McKinley threw me into the dumpster."

Blaine's hazel eyes softened a bit. "So it's a defense mechanism."

"If you want to call it that."

"That's what it's called Kurt." Blaine said firmly. "Sometimes when people feel threatened or scared, they curl up into a fetal position. Some suck their thumb, others hide in enclosed spaces. It's a scientific fact."

Kurt touched his fingertips against his wooden desk, looking at it as if were the most interesting thing in the world.

"Why are you so obsessed with labeling everything, Blaine?"

"I'm not." Blaine said through gritted teeth. He was starting to get tired of this. "When I see something that has a name, I call it by that name."

"Do you call yourself pretentious then?"

"I'm not pretentious. Now who's labeling things?"

Kurt chuckled. 'Not labeling, calling something by its name."

Both boys stared at each other. Blaine's expression was turned into a hard glare, while Kurt looked quite amused and smug.

"I'm getting tired of these mind games, Kurt."

Kurt smiled. "Did you come here for a reason then? Or do you usually go around and kick people from their day dreaming?"

Blaine walked over to him, offering him the list of solos. "Wes and David wanted me to give you this."

Kurt didn't look down at it. "I don't want it."

Blaine's hand crumpled the paper slightly. "You have to take it. You said you would."

Kurt tilted his head to the side slightly. "Did I? I don't remember saying much after Wes and David denied my choice of song."

"You said you'd think about the list."

"I never said I would look at it."

"Well then," Blaine mumbled, throwing the paper up in the air. "I guess this is useless. I guess we'll all just listen to whatever suggestion you have and listen to it be shot down once again." He shrugged. "Unless you have a more brilliant plan than that."

Kurt watched him, his eyes soft and his smile gone.

Blaine felt a little bad, but he needed to say something. Kurt was going way over the line with all of these things he thought he could do without consequence. The silence between the two was suffocating and stiff. Even Pavarotti had stopped singing.

…

…

A smile crept back onto Kurt's lips. Blaine watched him, his brain aching at the circles Kurt was dragging him in.

"What?"

"How's Rachel?"

Blaine sighed softly. And it all came back to that damn girl. "I don't know, I haven't talked to her since Sunday."

"Mm, surprising."

"It's not surprising." Blaine said softly. "I didn't want to kiss her."

"You seemed more than willing."

"I was drunk."

"Were you?"

"Yes."

"It's just amazing to me." Kurt said softly, sitting on the edge of his bed. Blaine watched him. He was all mixed up inside. He was angry and confused. Kurt knew that Blaine was gay. Blaine knew that Blaine was gay. So what was the problem?

"Kurt?"

"Mm?"

He moved closer to Kurt, leaning against his desk as he watched the other. "When you told me that Kaforsky stole your first counting kiss, you never told me why."

"Why?"

"Why didn't your true first kiss count?"

Kurt smiled. "I kissed a girl once. Well, many times."

"Oh?"

"Mm-hmm. I figured that if I played straight, my father would want to spend more time with me than with Finn. It was sort of a middle child complex."

"So what's the difference between those kisses and this one?"

Kurt chuckled softly. "I didn't have anyone interested in me. I didn't lead other boys on with duets about how we should keep each other warm in the cold snow." He smiled sweetly up at Blaine. "Any other stupid questions?"

Blaine sighed. "No, I think I filled my quota today."

"Good. I trust you can see yourself out." He pointed to the door. "There's a trail of birdseed if you get lost."

Blaine watched Kurt for a moment more, walking towards the door. He opened it a bit before looking back. "I know you're hurting, Kurt. I'm really sorry though."

Kurt watched him, smile gone. All that filled the room was a chill that Blaine felt down to the marrow in his bones.

"…sometimes," Kurt said softly, his eyes moving along the carpet before going back to meet Blaine's. "Sorry doesn't cut it. Sometimes sorry is just a last resort to questions unanswered. Sometimes people say sorry to avoid any further explanation. You may have been drunk, but I wasn't, and I remember that night like it was yesterday."

"…I never said I was interested in you Kurt." Blaine said softly. Kurt smiled.

"You may as well have, Blaine."

Blaine felt like there was nothing left to say. He didn't remember what happened that night. He didn't know what to be sorry for, so Kurt was right. It was just filler for now.

"Get out." Kurt said shortly, and Blaine nodded.

"Of course."

He turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind himself gently.

Kurt watched the door for a moment before falling back onto the bed. The agonizing pain in his chest started to spread throughout his body. Before his mind could register the heartache Kurt took in a deep breath and held it. He closed his eyes and he listened to his heartbeat slowing and to the ocean of blood in his ears.

For a moment, he forgot that he existed.

As Blaine walked down the hallway, smiling at other boys heading to their rooms for the night he pulled out his cell phone and looked at the screen. 57 unread text messages and twenty-two missed calls. This was the only way he was going to find out what happened the night that seemed to have stolen Kurt's very soul away. He pressed a few buttons and put the phone to his ear, smiling when he heard a click.

"Hi Mercedes."


	7. Chapter 7

Yay another chapter! I'm trying to get out all of my ideas before I forget them. I hope you're all enjoying the quick updates and I hope to keep it up. Thank you all for reading, favoriting and reviewing! Please enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

* * *

She felt so wrong doing this.

Wasn't this wrong?

This was wrong on so many levels.

But there he was, sitting on her desk chair and looking at her with puppy eyes begging for her help. 'This is a problem only you can fix', he said. 'You're the only one who can help,' he said. 'For Kurt,' he said. So naturally she agreed.

Mercedes would do anything for her boy.

"So are you going to tell me what's going on or are you going to give me those stupid eyes?"

Blaine sighed softly, folding and unfolding his hands. "I messed up bad Mercedes."

She crossed her arms, sighing softly and shaking her head. "We all did Blaine. We were all smashed that night. But the level of messed up you went to was way above anything I thought a dude in a uniform was capable of."

He sighed again. "I know, I know." He bit his lip, glancing down to his once again folded hands before looking back to Mercedes. "Has he told you anything?"

"Blaine, we're closer than chocolate and milk."

"….isn't that a little racist?"

Mercedes folded her arms. "I was talking about chocolate milk." She raised an eyebrow. "What were you talking about?"

Blaine blushed, shaking his head. "Nothing, never mind."

She rolled her eyes, sighing. "Alright. All Kurt told me was that he hated your guts and he wouldn't exactly be sad if someone pounded your head in, but he didn't tell me anything else."

Blaine paled. "I, uh…isn't that a little harsh?"

"You tell me what you did and I'll be the judge of that."

He sighed softly, rubbing his arms and looking around the room. "I may have kissed Rachel when we were playing spin the bottle."

"….you 'may have'?"

He closed his eyes and sighed. "Okay I did."

"Boy you better back off of that chair before a whole lotta hurt finds your face right now."

Blaine quickly scrambled out of the chair, pressing his back against the door and fumbling for the handle in case he needed to escape. Mercedes didn't move off of the bed. She closed her eyes, inhaled and exhaled deeply, then opened her eyes to look at Blaine.

"Okay, I'm relaxed. No promises that I won't kill you later though."

He nodded stiffly. "O-Okay."

Mercedes leaned over and patted the seat again, sighing. "I swear boys these days seem to have way more drama than girls. At least the boys I hang out with." She watched as Blaine slowly walked over to take the seat again. "I thought Kurt was okay with you liking other people though."

"Could've fooled me." Blaine said, rubbing his temple.

"Blaine, can I be honest with you?"

"Please Mercedes."

"Kurt's been crazy about you since day one."

Blaine blinked, his eyes widening slightly. "Really?"

Mercedes looked at him, exasperated. "Boy you cannot honestly tell me that you are _that_ blind."

Blaine smiled sheepishly, shrugging. "I am. Haven't a single clue of what I'm doing."

"Don't I know it." She sighed. "When the boys sent him to go spy on you guys it was kind of the first step of the last straw. Finn told me later that Kurt was all into the boys' song and even made a chart for matching outfits when they told him to buzz off. And if you know Kurt, you know he'd never take that lying down."

Blaine nodded in agreement.

"But that day he did. He just took his chart, said okay and took off."

"Oh." Blaine said meekly. He knew how much Kurt loved his charts. While planning weekend outfits he brought out a large poster board that he seemed to have a stash of somewhere with professional-looking drawings of combinations of his clothes along with backup notes if he happened to feel a bit stuffy in his coat or scarf. He knew how important that was to Kurt.

"That, plus that whole Karofsky thing." She shook his head. "It was like Kurt's entire world was falling down. Just a couple of weeks before that, his dad was in the hospital because of a heart attack."

It was like there was no air in the room suddenly. Blaine felt choked up. Tears jumped to his eyes and he pulled at the collar of his shirt. "He, uh…he never told me about his dad."

Mercedes nodded slowly. "He doesn't like people to worry about him much. I think that if Mr. Schue or Finn hadn't said anything none of us would have known." She smiled a little. "Then you came along and it was like everything was going to be okay again. Kurt seemed a little more at ease knowing he had someone to talk to."

"But he has you."

She giggled. "I know he has me. He'll always have me. I love that boy too much. But he needed someone who knew what he was going through. And that was you."

Blaine blushed a little, looking down at his shoes. Kurt…looked up to him? "I had no idea."

She scoffed. "What did you think he was going to do with that huge picture of you? A magazine article?"

His blush deepened. "I…I hadn't really thought about it."

"He hung it in his locker and put a little 'Courage' collage underneath it. Boy watched too many Hey Arnold episodes back in the day if you ask me."

Blaine laughed softly, wiping his eyes. "That's actually very sweet. I really had no clue."

"Is that why you kissed Rachel?"

Oh, right. He came here for a reason.

"I…I was…we were all drunk, Mercedes. You know that."

She nodded. "Yeah, but Kurt wasn't. And you guys didn't try to hide it or anything. I mean, I guess that's better than trying to hide. But you guys kissed right in front of him. Like, sitting on his lap and kissing some girl isn't okay."

Blaine nodded. "I know that. He just…he won't believe me when I say it didn't mean anything."

She hummed softly. "Did it?"

He blushed against his will. "I…it was my first kiss."

Mercedes fanned herself, sighing. "Oh my God Blaine. You're honestly pulling all of the rugs from underneath me today. I feel like I should be charging you."

He laughed weakly, shaking his head. "I mean…it meant a little, but it wasn't the entire world. There weren't any…"

"Fireworks?"

"Yeah."

She sighed softly. "The thing is Blaine, this kinda isn't your first offense."

"…that's so Law and Order."

"Deal with it. I'm being serious."

"Sorry."

"Kurt told us about the Gap Attack."

"….oh."

"Mmm-hm." She raised her eyebrows. "Now how would you feel if Gap Guy hired the Warblers to serenade someone he liked?"

Blaine looked down guiltily at his shoes again, shuffling his feet a little. "Like I'd want to die."

The Gap Attack ran back through his memories and he noticed things he didn't before. Kurt's voice had been missing the entire last part. Blaine saw him from standing on one of the display tables. He had moved towards the cash registers, arms folded and mouth closed. He didn't say anything to Blaine after that. He didn't complain, but did he really need to? His face had said it all. And all Blaine asked was, "Was that too much?"

It had, and Blaine had been crushed. He couldn't imagine what Kurt felt, having been forced to sing a love song to his competition. And yes, he had been forced. If one Warbler sang, they all had to sing together. It was tradition. That's how things worked. And Blaine had told him to fit in. He told Kurt to blend.

Now Kurt was blending in so far that Blaine was afraid he would never find Kurt again.

"What do I do Mercedes?"

She shrugged. "I really don't know Blaine. Kurt hasn't talked to me much since Sunday. A couple of texts her and there but that's it. I can talk to him if you want but I can't make any huge promises."

Blaine nodded. "Please, anything can help."

"I'll try."

"Thank you."

Mercedes nodded slowly.

"No problem."

* * *

On the drive back to Westerville Blaine felt a little calmer about the situation. Mercedes knew Kurt far better than he did. She could make him see reason. For now, Kurt was in her hands.

Right now all Blaine had to work with was the past. He had no idea how much Kurt idolized him. A collage in his locker? He was a complete idiot. How could he not have seen? He rubbed his temple, one hand on the wheel as he sighed softly. He had to make it up to Kurt somehow. There had to be something he could do.

He glanced down to his radio.

Duh.

He pressed the knob in and turned to his favorite station, waiting for a good song to come on. Meanwhile the gears in his head were turning and he mentally went through each and every song he knew the words to. He was going to make it up to Kurt and he was going to do it in a way that he knew how. It may have not worked for Jeremiah but it was going to work with Kurt. It had to.

He was going to make it work. He was going to get Kurt back.


	8. Chapter 8

Weekend update yay! Thank you all for reading, favoriting and reviewing and please enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

_

* * *

_

Come what may….

Their faces neared each other slowly, lips gently brushing against each other's skin. Eyes glanced up and locked, and lips slid into smiles. The warm sun was setting and set their skin aglow, but that seemed impossible. The love that held them together seemed to warm them enough already. But knowing that nature would smile upon them with its bright rays warmed their souls and filled them to the brim with happiness.

_Come what may, I will love you until my dying day._

Kurt sniffled softly, absently wiping at the tears that flooded his face. He was lying on his stomach, his laptop turned to him as Moulin Rouge played on. His room was pitch black except for the light of the computer. His arms were clutched tightly around a pillow and a blanket was wrapped haphazardly around his shoulder blades.

He only wished he could be in Satine's heels. Not…necessarily the whole dying part. But the whole having two men fight and sing for you. And Nicole Kidman can't even really sing. Kurt could and he was damn good at it. Yet here he was on a Friday night, horribly alone. Pavarotti was already asleep, his cage covered.

He only wished a penniless sitar player would try to woo him with song.

Instead he had clueless boys in uniform. Blaine in his perfectly ironed dark navy blue blazer over a white crisp shirt with the collar framed by a striped tie and pulled together with gray slacks. Finn, Sam and Dave all standing together in the cool autumn air under a football scoreboard, their red jerseys glowing in the early evening with different numbers that all said the same thing.

Zero.

Zero chance.

Kurt felt pathetic. He swore to himself that he'd never become one of these people. Relationships in high school didn't matter. They didn't last. Kurt could survive without love for four years.

How wrong he was.

It wasn't attention he craved; it was love, pure and simple. He wanted to hold hands with someone he loved and someone who loved him. He wanted to slow dance at prom with someone he loved and someone who loved him. He didn't need to justify himself through someone else. Kurt knew who he was. But would it hurt to have someone at his side?

Apparently so.

There was not a pain he knew that was like this one. It was like someone inside of him tearing his chest apart from the inside out. Like every fairy tale he had ever heard had the happy ending snatched away and all that was left was darkness and death. Like all of his thoughts were going fast, and slow at the same time. Everything made complete backward sense.

It all seemed so wrong.

But it was right, wasn't it?

He needed to wait. That's all he needed. He needed to get away from Lima, from Westerville, from this suffocating state that was Ohio and find somewhere he could have a chance. That's all he needed was a chance. A chance to start over and a chance to find love.

That's all he needed.

He moved away and laid on his back, inhaling and holding his breath. That's all he needed was a fresh start. A fresh breath of air away from these cow towns and hay mazes. A fresh new world.

He let out the breath and was numb once more.

"_Thank you," _Christian was saying to Satine now. "_Thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with love._"

* * *

"I have a question."

Blaine looked over to one of the Warblers, sighing.

"What?"

"About how many boys are you going to have us serenade?"

The entire room groaned.

Wes hit his gavel against its stand twice as the room started to fill with conversations about this certain question. This was the second emergency meeting that Blaine had called to sing to someone. Were they going to serenade each and every one of Blaine's love interests?

"Listen," Wes said, raising his voice a bit. "If any of you had _one_ person you were interested in then the Warblers would surely help you in wooing them. For now, we are going to help a fellow Warbler in need. Blaine has done a lot in helping with song selections and solos when no one else could possibly fill the spot."

There were a couple of sighs and others nodded their heads. Wes let out an annoyed sigh when there was a knock at the door. They had been there for an hour already on a Friday afternoon. What other distraction could possibly hinder any hope for progress that he had hoped for?

One of the Warblers walked over and opened the door. He looked a bit confused. "I'm sorry, are you lost?"

"Nope!"

Blaine's heart plummeted at the sound of that voice.

"By the looks of your uniform we're in the right place!"

The Warbler at the door moved aside, shrugging slightly to Wes who was looking less annoyed and more intrigued by the trio of girls who walked in. Rachel led Brittany and Santana into the room, wearing a short-sleeved white shirt with a blue and white checkerboard sweater vest over it, though the warblers were more interested in the scandalously short black skirt she was in. Santana and Brittany wore matching black dresses with wide red belts around their waists with black heels suitable for murder.

"Hello boys." Rachel purred. Santana eyed the crowd of boys whose cheeks seemed to have gotten a bit rosier since the girls walked in.

"What's the meaning of this?" Wes asked, putting his gavel down and watching them with as much interest as the others were. "Spying?"

"Like we need to." Santana scoffed. Rachel smiled. "Not spying, just came to give the better half of Raine a little surprise."

"…..Raine?" David asked from beside Wes.

Rachel nodded. "Rachel, Blaine. Raine."

"…oh."

Most of the Warblers started to look confused at this. "Wait, I thought we were singing t-"

Rachel's eyes lit up and she walked over to Blaine. "You were going to sing to me too?" She squealed, clapping her hands. "But I beat you to it!"

Blaine's jaw dropped. "I-" He was stopped by the girl putting a finger to his lips.

"Shh, I know, but let me sing to you first okay?" She glanced over to Brittany. "Turn on the music." She whispered.

Brittany put the stereo that she had been carrying onto the council's table, earning an annoyed glance from Wes, and pressing 'Play'.

Rachel tilted her head back, belting out a single note.

"_Ohh…sometimes I get a good feeling, yeah."_

Santana and Brittany leaned against each other's back as they harmonized. "_Yeahhh…."_

Rachel shook her head slowly. "_I get a feeling that I never, never, never, never had before."_

"_Yeahhh…."_

Her eyes locked into Blaine's. "_And I just gotta tell you right now that oh…I believe…"_ She reached over and cupped his cheek, her hand barely ghosting over his skin.

"_I really do believe that…"_ She smiled, sidestepping a bit. "_Something's gotta hold on me, yeah."_

Santana and Brittany started to sway, grinning at the room of boys. "_Oh, it must be love."_

"_Something's gotta hold on me right now!"_

"_Yeah it must be love."_

"_Let me tell you now,"_ Rachel snaked her arm down Blaine's chest, smiling. "_I got a feeling, I feel so strange. Everything about me seems to have changed. Step by step I got a brand new walk, I even sound sweeter when I talk, I said oh," _

Santana and Brittany sunk a bit. "_Oh."_

Rachel sunk as well. "_Oh."_

"_Oh."_

And a little lower._"Oh."_

"_Oh."_

And lower still._"Oh!_

"_Oh!"_

The three snapped to stand straight and Brittany and Santana split up, dancing against members of the Warblers. The boys blushed and glanced to each other, wondering what to do. Rachel leaned against Blaine, wrapping her arms around his neck. "_Believe I'd die if I only could. I sure feel strange but it sure feels good!"_

He stared at her, walking backwards and trying to move away but…he felt it too.

She pulled away. "_I said baby oh it must be love!"_

"_You know it must be love!"_ Brittany and Santana harmonized, though both were far apart now. Brittany was sitting on one of the tables in the room while Santana was sitting on Wes's lap, playing with his tie as the usually stern Warbler was blushing now.

Rachel slowly cornered Blaine, smiling. "_Let me tell you now my heart feels heavy, my feet feel light."_ She shimmied, grinning. "_I shake all over but I feel alright. I never felt like this before. Something's got a hold on me that won't let go. I never thought it could happen to me. Got me happy without my misery. I never thought it could be this way. Love's sure gonna put a hurtin' on me, I said oh, oh, oh, oh! I said baby, oh it must be love_!" She pulled Blaine close, and this time the Warbler didn't pull away. He looked at her with a hesitant smile as they swayed together, hands clasped. Rachel smiled softly up at him, touching their foreheads together. "_Yeah he walks like love, he talks like love. Makes me feel alright in the middle of the night! Oh ohh it must be love!"_

The music died down on the stereo and the entire room filled with applause. Rachel panted softly, holding on close to Blaine. "Did you like it?" She whispered. Blaine couldn't help but smile, nodding. "You're amazing."

Rachel blushed and placed a kiss on Blaine's cheek, giggling.

"Uh, Blaine?"

He glanced over to David, who was now watching Santana whispering into Wes's ear and making him laugh. "Shall we continue the emergency meeting?"

"What meeting?"


	9. Chapter 9

Holiday update! Yay! I hope you're all enjoying the story so far! I'm really enojying reading all of your reviews. You guys make me so happy! Please enjoy the chapter and thank you all for reading, favoriting and reviewing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

* * *

"So what made you decide to come down?"

The Warblers had taken the three girls to the dining hall, and though it was past hours they all still sat at the same table, talking and laughing together. Rachel sat on Blaine's lap, running her hands through his curls. Santana sat next to Wes, pulling at his earlobe gently with her teeth while Brittany was watching from across the table.

"Well," Santana said, pulling away from Wes. "Once Rachel said 'more boys than we could handle' I took that as a challenge. Brittany was with me anyway."

Blaine chuckled. "Oh is that what it was?"

Rachel shrugged, grinning. "I guess not even the heated animosity between she and I couldn't stop her from a boy in uniform."

The group laughed softly. Santana glanced over at Brittany who seemed a little down. She wasn't laughing with the rest of them and Santana couldn't figure out if she was tired or just couldn't keep up with the lame jokes.

"Britt, you okay?"

Brittany looked over to her, glancing at Wes before saying softly, "We should say hi to Kurt."

Blaine felt all the color drain from his face. He knew he'd forgotten something.

"I'm not so su-"

"What room is he in?"

"734, near the rehearsal room." One of the Warblers piped up and Blaine's heart started to beat quickly. Brittany nodded and got up, walking out of the room. Santana bit her lip, torn between staying here and leaving with the blond girl.

Rachel started to get up when Blaine gripped her wrist gently. "Wh-Where are you going?"

She turned, blinking. "To go see Kurt. I haven't talked to him since last weekend." She tilted her head, confused when Blaine smiled nervously and shook his head. "I'm not really sure that's a good idea."

"Why not?"

What was he supposed to say? What could convince this obviously blind girl that Kurt may or may not maim them both when he saw her there?

"I, uh…." He smiled softly. "I just don't think he's, uh….ready to see us together."

Rachel's eyes widened and she had sort of a mad twinkle in her eyes. A soft pink blush rose to her cheeks and Blaine could feel the warmth in her hands.

"Together?"

Oh no.

* * *

Kurt wiped his eyes, sighing and glancing at the clock in the corner of his laptop screen. It was ten at night, who would possibly be knocking at his door this late? Then again the school was full of teenage boys whose manners went out the window at precisely 3 p.m when the last class ended.

He walked over, stretching his arms a bit before opening the door. In even the deepest parts of his mind was he even remotely expecting to see Brittany S. Pierce standing at his doorway at Dalton in Westerville at ten o'clock at night wearing a black dress and heels.

"…" He reached up and rubbed his temple, looking to the floor a moment. "Brittany, I really do think of you as a friend. Please know that I am very sincere when I say this. I think you're a very nice girl and I appreciate the help that you have provided to me in the past. Sometimes I think it's very unfair that people categorize you as dumb just because you happen to be blond and the blank slate that is your face shows no promise whatsoever in receiving an answer with any hint of anything relating to intelligent."

Brittany blinked, tilting her head to the side slightly and watching him. Her mouth was slightly agape by now. "Wait…what?"

"Brittany, what are you doing here?"

"Oh. I came with Santana."

"…Santana."

She nodded.

"…what is Santana doing here?"

"She came with Rachel."

"…Rachel."

She nodded.

He didn't really need to go on then, did he? If that's what Brittany was wearing then he could only imagine what Rachel Berry's version of 'sexy dress' looked like. He sighed softly.

"Where is Ms. Berry? Screeching from the sidewalk and throwing pebbles at windows?"

Brittany just looked more confused. "No, she's with those parakeets."

"…you mean the Warblers?"

"Is that a bird?"

He rolled his eyes, opening the door wider. "Come in."

She walked in and looked around the room. "This is really nice!"

"I think so t-"

"Watch it."

Kurt was prevented from closing the door by a rather strong hand and he wasn't that surprised to hear the voice of one Santana Lopez. He opened the door to see her in a dress similar to Brittany's with a scowl on her face.

So much for turning in early.

He opened the door and let her in, sticking his head out and looking around in the hallway before closing the door and locking it. He was sure that having visitors after hours was against some kind of rule.

"What can I do for you ladies?"

"Berry just serenaded your boy." Santana joined Brittany on Kurt's bed, smirking over at him. "Doesn't that just make your blood boil?"

Kurt shrugged. "He's a big boy. He can make his own decisions."

"But doesn't it piss you off? I mean she did drag us all the way over here just to serenade him."

Pavarotti started to chirp in his cage and Kurt sighed softly. "You're going to disturb his sleeping pattern if you keep talking so loud."

"Okay mama hen."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "What do you propose I do Santana? I can't very well force Blaine to like me and at this point I don't care if he likes me or not. I'm sick of him jerking me around and yet I still don't want to keep going it alone."

He felt pathetic. Why was he pouring out his heart to the likes of Santana? Maybe because behind that smirk Kurt could see some idea fathoming in that evil brain of hers.

"I propose that we stop talking and use our mouths for something else. You know what I'm good at, Hummel, and we both know that my kind of revenge is the only kind that works. I get noticed while your little speeches about acceptance are about as interesting as when Berry gives them."

Kurt clenched his hands into tight fists, making his knuckles white. "Don't you dare compare me to that backstabber." He said softly. No matter how many times he told himself that he didn't care, he would. Especially when it came to Blaine. He had given the Warbler his trust only to pull the rug out from under him. Was it so bad to want to be with the only boy who gave him the confidence to be himself?

Santana didn't smirk at him. Her face was almost…calm. Serene, and for a moment Kurt wondered why she couldn't look like that all of the time. She would be much less scary and maybe even attractive if the venom of hell didn't spew out of her mouth every time she uttered a syllable.

Kurt folded his arms and leaned against his desk, watching her. He didn't know what was possessing him to even allow her into his room, let alone for her to talk him into some sort of twisted revenge. Perhaps he was just sick of sitting back and allowing things to happen. If he took the reins then maybe things would work out in his favor for once.

"Are you proposing that we pretend to date?"

Santana's face scrunched into a scowl. "Hell no. I'm no one's beard, Hummel." She looked over to Brittany, who had been listening to them as she laid on her back on the bed. Seeing Santana look at her, she blinked.

Kurt chuckled. "Brittany?"

"Why not?" Santana looked over to Kurt. "You dated before."

Brittany's eyes widened and she sat up, looking over to Kurt. "Are we dating again?"

Kurt watched her, sighing softly. "It seems that way."

The blond girl quickly got off the bed and threw her arms around Kurt, hugging him tightly. Kurt's eyes widened in surprise, glancing to Santana before looking to Brittany. "Are you okay with that?"

She nodded quickly and he smiled. "Can I have my arms back?"

Brittany let him go slowly and he pulled her into a hug. "Thank you Brittany." He mumbled softly. "This means a lot."

Brittany smiled up at him. "Does this mean I can hold your soft hands again?"

"Hold away."

She reached down and held his hand, their fingers intertwining. Kurt smiled softly at her and she leaned up to press a kiss to his lips.

Their sweet moment was interrupted by a groan, and both looked over.

She glanced up from her phone. "Sorry, Berry's texting me. Britt we gotta go."

Brittany smiled up at Kurt, who grinned. "I'll walk you both out to meet her."

Santana slid off of the bed and moved over to link her arm around Kurt's free one while Brittany held his other tightly. They walked out of the room together and found Rachel with the rest of the Warblers already in the hallway near the rehearsal room.

"Brittany, laugh." Santana whispered, and Brittany threw her head back and let out a sweet, soft laugh that gained the attention of the crowd around the door. Kurt smiled at Brittany and it looked as if he were whispering something to her judging by how near his lips were to her ear.

Blaine was taken aback. Well…they were friends weren't they?

For a moment he forgot that his arms were around Rachel until Kurt looked over at them together. He felt his heart leap out of his chest. What if Kurt got the wrong idea? He tried pulling away but Rachel kept her hands on his hands, smiling over. "Hi Kurt!"

Kurt smiled softly. "Hello Rachel. I just found these two wandering around. We were catching up when Santana got your text. Leaving so soon?"

Rachel nodded. "But we'll be back soon!"

Kurt looked down to Brittany, smiling softly. "Well isn't that a relief?"

Santana looked on smugly as Kurt kissed her and it looked as if the Warblers would all faint. First Blaine and now Kurt?

"K...Kurt, what are you doing?" One of the Warblers asked.

Kurt glanced over, smiling. "Well Brittany and I dated briefly last year and tonight we have rekindled that love through discussion and the mutual feeling of missing each other despite the differences that tore us apart the first time."

"…you mean that you like guys?" Another Warbler asked.

Kurt chuckled. "Gentlemen, I'm merely exploring my options and broadening my horizons. After all, Blaine showered me that a label cannot confine love with his relationship with Rachel."

Everyone turned and stared at Blaine, who felt faint suddenly. He opened his mouth to say something, anything to diffuse the situation. Rachel beat him to the punch.

"Oh that's great! We can double date now!"

Blaine leaned against her as he felt his knees buckle and Kurt smiled. "Fantastic. How about we all meet at Breadstix tomorrow evening after practice?" He looked to Blaine with soft eyes. "We can carpool and just sleep over at my house."

Blaine wanted to stop it. Was he dreaming? This wasn't happening. Last week he was going through school blissfully unaware of how wrong things could go. This was madness.

Kurt and Brittany kissed and Santana wrote down her number on Wes's palm. Rachel turned around and kissed Blaine's lips. "See you tomorrow!" She didn't notice how still his spine had become or that he didn't move in to kiss her back. No one noticed his silence as the girls walked off and the Warblers chuckled to each other about what a wild night it had been. No one noticed him rooted in the same spot as they all dispersed to their own rooms.

"Blaine?"

He looked up and saw Kurt standing there.

Kurt noticed.


	10. Chapter 10

Hi guise! I hoped you all enjoyed last night's Glee episode! I know I did, but I still feel really conflicted about Blaine. Even Burt made me fume a bit. Oh well.

Thank you all for reading, favoriting and reviewing and please enjoy the chapter!

* * *

The next day dragged on for Blaine.

It was Saturday so there were no classes. He never slept in so he was stuck alone with his thoughts in the early hour of 6:45 A.M.

The memories of the party at Rachel's house came and went in his mind since the incident. He faintly remembered falling over and laughing. He remembered karaoke but couldn't remember singing actual coherent words.

He remembered Kurt's high-pitched voice in his ear.

He remembered not looking over and just staring at Rachel. He remembered the slope of her nose and the roundness of her cheeks. Her skin was smooth and blemish-free, only covered in a light hue of pink. Her dark lashes were long and her dark brown eyes large. They reminded Blaine of those dolls with the wide eyes that opened when someone tilted them backward. He remembered her lips a shade slightly darker than the usual pink because of a light oat of lip gloss. They were still slightly parted due to the heated kiss they'd shared just moments before. He remembered her hot breath ghosting over his own lips, making them all the moister.

…was he in love?

All of those things that he remembered seemed like something lovers noticed about each other. He suddenly found himself wondering how he looked that night. How had he looked to Rachel? Did he look hot and sweaty after their hardcore karaoke? Did he look neat, tidy and put together despite all of the drinks he'd had? Had his sweater even been tucked in?

He felt his face warm up and he reached over to his nightstand. He stared at the screen for a long moment, sighing softly and typing in a message. There was no harm in asking right?

As soon as he hit send he quickly threw the phone onto the bed next to him as if it were on fire. He sighed again and closed his eyes, trying to remember more.

He remembered singing with Rachel now. He remembered thinking that if he hadn't known how to have eye sex before, he knew now. He remembered Rachel blushing when he sang to her, and that same mad look in her eye that he saw before. But what had they been singing? Where had Kurt been? Why wasn't he saying anything?

Then he kept remembering the kiss. It had been so long. He remembered the other members of New Directions egging them on and crying for more. He remembered cupping Rachel's cheek and pulling her slightly close to deepen the kiss. He remembered everything about her. So why couldn't he remember Kurt?

He rubbed his eyes. He had to have looked okay to Rachel. If he hadn't then there had to be some reason that she kept coming around.

But what?

A soft jingle sounded and he grabbed his phone up right away. He didn't look at the message just yet though. Instead he focused on what was on the screen at the moment.

New Message-Rachel

Did he really want to open this? The text message could hold a lot of answers for Blaine, but it could open a whole new world as well. A new can of worms.

This single text message could hold the very fabric of his future in it. It could change everything. It could change nothing. Perhaps in just pursuing this he had already changed everything. It sure seemed that way. He had even changed Kurt. But was he willing to change himself?

He opened the message.

* * *

Kurt laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

How could Blaine do this to him? It just kept swirling around in his head. Why? Kurt understood a lot of things. He had been the top of his classes back at McKinley. He was book smart. He understood all of that crap that adults deemed important enough to repeat from kindergarten to high school. He also understood how people worked.

People were mean and cruel. People lived to torture each other. They enjoyed drama, attention…all of that good stuff. So maybe that was the reason that Blaine didn't understand. Maybe he was just another one of those people. Just because he was gay that didn't mean he was immune to becoming like one of them.

Kurt had just been living in a dream world.

He thought his mentor was perfect. He put Blaine on a pedestal and believed he could do no wrong. Even when Kurt didn't get a solo when he first auditioned he didn't exactly blame Blaine. He thought it was him. He thought he needed to tone himself down, because that's what Blaine had told him. To blend.

He closed his eyes.

Everyone always tells him to blend. Finn told him to blend. Blaine told him to blend. By making Kurt's life hell, Karofsky was telling Kurt to blend. Even Burt was telling Kurt to blend. So that's what he was going to do. He was going to blend, and maybe if he disappeared into the walls enough then maybe this crushing pain in his chest wouldn't be able to find him anymore.

He held his breath and tried disappearing into his mattress. He was taken away from his world when there was a sharp knock on the door, and before he could even say anything he heard the door open and close.

"Ku- oh, are you doing that disappearing act again?"

He sighed and looked over. Seeing Blaine in his room he was only slightly surprised. He would have to work on that. The goal was to get rid of any kind of human emotion possible. He was tired of "feeling".

"Some people like to call it sleeping." He mumbled, trying to look tired. "What's up Blaine?"

Blaine looked so…confused, but happy. He was gripping his phone in one hand while the other was still clenched but with nothing in it. He was already in his uniform, even this early in the morning and for a second Kurt wondered if he slept in it.

"I think I may be in love."

Oh. That explains the phone then. Kurt closed his eyes and turned onto his side, facing away from Blaine. "I'm really truly happy for you however I would like to use my last ten minutes of sleeping for sleep if you don't mind."

Blaine walked over and sat on the edge of Kurt's bed. He watched the boy, whose blue eyes were still open and staring at the wall.

"Kurt?"

Kurt slowly closed his eyes. "Hm?"

Blaine licked his lips, watching Kurt for a quiet moment before saying softly, "I think I'm in love with Rachel."

Kurt felt it again. It was like someone had dug their hand into his chest and scooped out his heart, or what was left of it, and then proceeding to drop a grand piano on it before taking each and every key and stabbing it through his already smashed heart. After there was barely anything left that someone would break the legs off of the piano and then stab them through the pieces of his heart.

Then there were the splinters of the piano…

"Kurt?"

He sighed softly, not opening his eyes. If he looked at Blaine right now there was no guarantee if he would burst into tears or throw Blaine onto the bed and smother him to death with a pillow.

"What?" He mumbled.

"Did you hear me?"

"Mm."

"What do you think then?"Blaine bit his lip, running a hand through his not-yet gelled hair. "Do you think I'm bisexual or something?"

Kurt sat up in bed, making Blaine look all the more confused. "What-"

"I don't know Blaine, I really don't know." Kurt snapped. "All I know is that it's now-" he glanced to the clock on his nightstand, "Six fifty-three in the morning, I can no longer sleep because now it's time to get up and get ready for another day at the Bird Worshipper School also known as Dalton."

He got off of the bed and went into his closet, grabbing his uniform and setting it neatly on his bed. He glanced at Blaine, who seemed shocked at Kurt.

"I'm sorry I was just asking." He mumbled, getting off the bed. Kurt rolled his eyes and went to the adjoining bathroom to brush his teeth.

"But…do you think it's possible?" he heard Blaine ask again. Kurt didn't trust himself with any object in his hand right now, so he stayed in the bathroom and furiously brushed his teeth.

"….Kurt?"

He leaned over and spit in the sink, and for a second he was surprised he hadn't spit out any venom or chunks of heart. "What Blaine?"

Blaine walked over and leaned in the doorway, watching him. "Are you okay?"

Kurt brushed past him, walking back into the bedroom and sliding out of his shirt. Blaine followed him and found himself blushing at the sight of Kurt's slender chest. His pale skin was even and Blaine imagined it was soft and smooth.

Kurt turned his head and Blaine blushed. He'd been caught checking Kurt out.

"As comfortable as I am with my newfound and straighter sexuality, I'm not so sure you should be in here while I'm changing." Kurt slid his crisp white shirt on and flipped his collar up, wrapping the striped tie around his neck and tying it. "Might confuse you more, you know?"

Blaine watched him, biting his lip. "Kurt, I…I'm not…"

Maybe he was confused. For years he thought he was gay and for years he took abuse from his other classmates for it. He accepted that for what would happen because of who he chose to be. But did he choose this?

He watched as Kurt stood there in his boxers and carefully slid his gray pants on. Blaine found himself awfully close to the other and reached out.

Kurt shrieked.

"What are you doing?"

Blaine pulled back, his eyes wide. "I, I…I was just, I was trying to hold your hand."

Kurt stared at him with a bewildered look on his face. "Can you not do it while I'm changing my pants?" He zipped his pants up and took Blaine by the arm, dragging him out. "As much as I would love to play 'Find Blaine's sexuality' I'm going to be late for breakfast." Once Blaine was safely out in the hall, Kurt slammed the door and locked it, leaning against it and sighing. Why was Blaine doing this to him? Did he enjoy torturing Kurt like this? Was this a prank? Was he being hazed? He didn't understand. No one human being could possibly, _possibly_ be this stupid and blind.

Blaine stared at the door for a moment, biting his lip. Why was Kurt so mad? Hadn't Blaine been honest with him? He knew now thanks to Mercedes that Kurt looked up to him but Blaine was human too. He made mistakes. Hell, right now he was in the middle of an identity crisis. He needed someone to mentor him this time. Why couldn't Kurt understand that?

He sighed and started for the dining hall. They served breakfast at a certain time and only to those who were still wearing their uniforms. Blaine supposed it was to keep any freeloaders out. For a moment he looked at the sparsely filled hall. He knew most of the boys in his grade. He knew their faces, their personalities. But right now…now they all looked the same.

It was sort of the Alice in Wonderland effect, except rather than falling into a strange world where everything was different, vibrant and new, Blaine was stumbling into a world where he couldn't differentiate person from person.

He was lost.


	11. Chapter 11

Another chapter! I'm trying to spread out updates from story to story and so far it seems to be working! I'm getting a lot of questions asking if this is soley angst and Raine. Honestly? I'm just dragging it out. We all love a little angst...or in this case a whole bunch. Never fear though! It will have a happy ending!

Thank you all for reading, favoriting and reviewing! Please enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

* * *

Though there was no school, the Warblers still had practice.

_Of course,_ Kurt thought dryly. _Who could pass up a day to go to practice?_

The day was filled with avoiding Blaine at breakfast and studying until he felt his pupils would burst into flames if he so much as glanced at another printed word in a book. He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his temples slowly, sighing. Dalton was way more challenging that McKinley had ever been, that was fact. Kurt had been enjoying it up until now. Now it just felt like another weight on his shoulders.

This entire Blainchel kiss was getting to him now. He was sick of the memories of that night replaying over and over in his mind. He wanted to be rid of that entire night. Too bad he didn't drink. He wished he had been smashed. Maybe he could have forgotten about the entire thing by now. Maybe he wouldn't remember it at all.

There was no point in trying to drown his sorrows now. If he drank in this state of mind then there would be nothing stopping him from going to Blaine's room, professing his love to him and crying his eyes out.

Just thinking of that as a possibility cured Kurt of ever wanting to drink in his lifetime.

But shouldn't Blaine know about that already? After the Gap Attack he made it crystal clear that he thought Blaine was interested and that he was interested as well. No matter how much Kurt told himself that he wasn't going to care about what Blaine said or did anymore, Kurt did.

Blaine was the first boy to ever really care about Kurt. Finn didn't count. Finn practically had to be shoved into liking Kurt, and even now he still didn't truly understand Kurt entirely. But Blaine did…at least Kurt thought he did. He seemed to at first. Now it was just a mess.

There was a soft knock at the door. Kurt knew who it was. Didn't he have other friends? Someone else to bother with his sexuality?

"It's unlocked."

Blaine walked in, smiling softly. "Hey. Missed you at breakfast."

Kurt was torn between swooning at the smile or wanting to rip it off his face. "I kind of rushed. Homework."

The other walked over and looked over Kurt's shoulder. "Anything I can help with?"

Kurt closed his books. "No. What did you need?"

Blaine sighed softly, going over and sitting on the edge of Kurt's bed. "I just…I'm really thinking about it a lot and I think I'm bisexual Kurt. I really…I really do."

Kurt turned to face Blaine, not getting up from his chair. He folded his arms and watched the other carefully. "That's great Blaine."

"Great?"

Kurt nodded. He was on autopilot now. Right now all he needed to do was to get Blaine the hell out of here as quick as possible. "You're a teenager. This is the time you spend finding yourself, and you did." He shrugged.

Blaine stared at Kurt a little wide eyed. He looked away and scoffed. Kurt's eyebrows shot up. "What?"

"Nothing. I mean…" Blaine looked at Kurt. "You know, you're really acting weird. I mean when you came to me after that whole Karofsky thing happened, I listened to you and I supported you. I let you talk and we talked it out."

"…and?"

"I don't think you're being fair right now."

Kurt blinked multiple times, leaning forward to assure that he was hearing correctly. "Excuse me? I'm not being _fair?_"

Blaine nodded, and Kurt could tell by the expression on his face that he was annoyed. "You aren't letting me talk or express myself. You're just telling me that even though I may have made a realization that could change my entire life that it's great. It's just great."

Kurt smiled. "Oh okay, shall we go for coffee and should I dictate what you should do in your life, maybe sing a little love song for you while I'm at it?"

Blaine's expression hardened. "I never dictated to you."

"Really?" Kurt leaned back, rolling his eyes. "Telling me to tone it down? Telling me to confront Karofsky?"

"It's called advice."

"Telling me who to be is not advice, Blaine."

"I wasn't telling you who to be I was giving you advice. If the Warblers-"

Kurt let out a short laugh. "Can we just leave them out of this conversation? Every other word out of your mouth has been the Warblers since I met you. Can you do nothing without them? Can you not involve them for just one conversation?"

"The Warblers are my life!"

Kurt was surprised by Blaine's tone. He had never heard the other talk so loud before. Sing, yes. Yell, no.

"Just because those misfits at No Directions mistreated you and ignored you that doesn't mean that all glee clubs are so dysfunctional."

Kurt's eyes were wide as saucers. He clenched his teeth in order to keep his jaw from dropping. He felt his breaths getting shorter and felt like his heart, or what was left of it, was going to burst. That's what he felt. That's what this was all about then.

Ignored.

Kurt was ignored. For far too long. It was that moment that he remembered dumpster diving and how Mr. Schuester would walk by him every morning, smiling saying 'see you later' as Kurt stood there terrified of the jocks who were waiting behind him for yet another toss.

He remembered teachers walking by as the jocks stained another one of his perfectly put together outfits with different colored slushies. If he lined every shirt ever ruined up shoulder to shoulder he would have a t-shirt rainbow.

He remembered the other students who stared at him while he was trying to recover from being slammed into yet another locker.

He remembered every single one of their faces, mocking him from afar as he endured a personal hell every single day in those McKinley hallways. He remembered no one ever sticking up for him. No one ever said enough. No one ever said stop.

Kurt had run.

He thought the arms that he had run into were the arms of a savior. The arms of safety. Now those arms were wrapped tightly around him, and hands were choking the life out of him. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think.

Blaine stared at Kurt. He had startled himself with how loud his voice had gotten, but Kurt just made him so upset. Here he was trying to have a normal conversation and Kurt couldn't even do that for him. As he watched Kurt, his expression softened and he bit his lip. He shouldn't have brought that up. Not Karofsky. Not McKinley. That look on Kurt's face was making Blaine's chest ache and he knew he was in the wrong this time.

"…Kurt, I-"

"Stop." Kurt rasped. His bottom lip quivered, and he didn't look at Blaine. His breathing was shallow and Blaine wondered if he was having a panic attack.

"Just….just stop."

Blaine nodded, looking down to the floor and rubbing his palms against his knees. He waited patiently for Kurt to speak, and as he did a million apologies ran through his head.

_I didn't mean it like that._

_I didn't mean for it to seem like I was dictating your life._

_I was just trying to help._

_I didn't mean that about New Directions._

_I know they're your family._

_They didn't ignore you._

_Everyone did the best they could._

_I did the best I could_

_I shouldn't…I shouldn't have kissed Rachel. _

_I knew how you felt about me. _

_I know how you felt about me. _

_How you feel about me._

_How you still feel about me, hopefully._

_I'm sorry…_

"I…"

Blaine's head snapped up at the sound of Kurt's voice. He looked like he was in pain, and that only made Blaine feel worse. Kurt was gripping the sides of his chair, his shoulders slightly hunched as he stared at the carpet, searching for the words.

"I quit the Warblers."

No.

Blaine's eyes widened, and he shook his head slightly. "No…Kurt, you can't-"

"I can't keep going, Blaine." Kurt whispered, closing his eyes and bowing his head. "I can't keep doing this. I can't sing anymore."

Blaine's eyebrows pushed together. What was he talking about?

"Kurt, of course you can sing. Your voice is amazing."

"It's not about my voice." He looked up and Blaine could see his blue eyes, like endless oceans, full of tears.

"I can't keep hearing your voice. It hurts too much. Every time I hear you sing now, I'll think of her. I'll think of that night and I'll never, ever think of anything else. I'll never think of dreaming, or valentine's day." He looked over at Blaine, who had tears streaming down his cheeks as he stared at Kurt with saddened eyes. Kurt wanted to laugh, but he didn't think he knew how to. When was the last time he laughed?

"Blaine…"

The boy shook his head, reaching over and taking Kurt's hands. "I'm sorry Kurt, I'm sorry…"

Kurt shook his head, letting Blaine hold his hands. He'd always imagined what it would feel like. He imagined it on a sandy beach though, the ocean in the background and the sun starting to set. Far away from Westerville or Lima or Ohio. Away from all the people they knew, away from the familiar faces.

"Kurt, please don't do this." Blaine whispered, gripping Kurt's hands.

Kurt shook his head, letting the tears blind him and turn the world around him into a flooded mess. What was the difference anyway? No matter what Kurt saw he couldn't change anything. He would be insignificant as he always had.

"My teenage dream is dead."

Blaine shook his head furiously. "No, Kurt, it's not-"

Kurt let out a soft sob. "Blaine stop! Just…just go. What difference does it all make? In two years all of this will be insignificant. You won't remember my face or my name. I won't remember the Warblers or Dalton or any of this."

Blaine reached up and tilted Kurt's chin up, looking him in the eyes. "Yes it will Kurt. These years are the hardest years of our life." He whispered. "We'll always remember these years as the most miserable parts of our lives because we learned something. We made friends and we had experiences. We did stupid things but we learned from it." He smiled sadly through his tears. "And I will always remember you most of all."

Kurt watched him, his thin body trembling. He shook his head, sniffling and wiping his eyes. He wanted to believe Blaine. He really did. But he just couldn't.

"Blaine…" he hiccupped. "Just…just please go. Please."

Blaine nodded. "I will in a minute. But just…promise me you won't quit the Warblers." He smiled softly. "We can't make it to nationals without you."

Kurt looked at him with soft eyes. "I'll think about it." He whispered.

Blaine smiled softly and wiped Kurt's cheek gently. "Okay, I'll take it. Just relax for the rest of the day, alright? Then tonight after practice we'll go have fun on our dates."

Kurt felt his stomach roll. That's right, they had dates tonight. He wasn't going to bring Rachel up. Not right now. He didn't have the strength to handle that conversation. He simply nodded. Blaine helped him onto his bed and smiled. "Rest up."

A warm sensation filled Kurt when Blaine pressed a kiss to his forehead before leaving.

Kurt watched the door for the longest time before closing his eyes. This is exactly why Mercedes insisted they be single for a while. Not only because every major diva had been single when their career hit its peak.

Boys would be the death of them all.


	12. Chapter 12

I'm really excited for this chapter! A little bit of angst mixed with...well you'll find out. Thank you all for reading, favoriting and reviewing! Please enjoy the chapter!

* * *

Blaine was starting to get nervous.

He was glad he and Kurt had that little talk. It was best to have everything out in the open rather than held in. He could tell that it was killing Kurt not to talk about what he was feeling. He might not like discussing his problems but Blaine knew it was better to let it out than keep it in.

The rest of the afternoon went on normally, with homework and some chess games against other boys in his wing. However it was Warbler practice now, and the entire group was waiting for Kurt. Blaine glanced up to the clock again and bit his lip. It was five past four-thirty. Maybe he should have set an alarm for the boy or something.

Damn it.

He should have gone to his room and made sure he was okay. He couldn't have done anything…too devastating, right? It was Kurt. Kurt wouldn't do anything like that. He was sad but he wasn't…he couldn't…right?

He cleared his throat nervously and glanced to the others. They were all lounging on the couches or standing behind them, whispering softly. Wes looked as if he were about to skewer someone with his gavel. His frown was deep and hard, and his face was beginning to turn red. Blaine only got even more nervous.

Kurt wouldn't do this on purpose. No matter how upset he was, Blaine knew that Kurt wouldn't just ditch practice. He would have called or gone to Blaine's room and said something.

Maybe he had called? Blaine pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and pressed a button, bringing the phone to life. No, just a bunch of missed calls and text messages from Rachel. He sighed softly, biting his lip.

"No phones at practice." Wes said.

"We haven't even started yet." Another Warbler said, and Wes looked as if he could kill someone.

"Practice is practice, no matter if we've started yet or not. Blaine!"

Blaine looked over, blinking. "What?"

"Have you talked to Kurt at all today? Does he remember there's practice?"

Blaine nodded. "Yeah, I talked to him this morning and he remembered."

"Perhaps you should go check on him-"

"Absolutely not!" Wes interrupted David. "We're already missing one Warbler, we don't need two wandering off. If Kurt doesn't show up in the next two minutes we'll move on."

Blaine bit his lip. "What about his solo?"

"We'll have to reassign it to someone else. Someone more responsible and who shows up to every scheduled Warbler practice at four-thirty sharp."

Blaine's eyes widened. No…they couldn't do that could they? This was Kurt's chance! This was his chance to shine after so long, they couldn't take that away!

"Come on, Kurt." He whispered, staring down the clock. Usually when Blaine was waiting for a class to end or for a favorite television show to start, time went by all the slower. But now that it was Kurt's future hanging on the line time only seemed to speed up. The two minutes went by quickly and Wes raised his gavel.

"Alright, let's start-"

The doors opened and everyone turned to look at the door. Kurt stood there, out of breath with a stack of papers under his arms. He had his blazer on, and his tie was a bit skewed and he was wearing the wrong pants, but he grinned at the room full of Warblers. "Sorry, the copy machine took forever."

Wes looked over, almost glaring at the boy. "Kurt, how very nice of you to join us. You're seven minutes late."

Kurt blushed a little. "I know, I'm sorry. Here, I made copies of the parts for the song." He went around the room and passed out the parts of the song to the usual guys who looked over the piece. Some looked confused while others looked excited.

When Wes received his part he was one of the more confused ones. "Kurt, this doesn't have a title."

Kurt smiled. "You'll know it when you hear it. Oh." He lifted his iPod stand and set it on the council's table. "Here, we can sing to the karaoke version first before we take it on our own. It's going to be a little weird but I think it'll work."

He walked over and handed Blaine his part, smiling softly. Blaine smiled back, looking over his part but not really. He knew Kurt would come through. But what was with those jeans? Had he changed and just forgot to change back?

The Warblers all looked over their parts, some humming the tune in order to sing it right. Kurt smiled softly around the room before turning the music on. Blaine couldn't help but grin at Wes clenching his teeth and glaring at Kurt.

That's what he was doing.

"_It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M_."

The Warblers smiled at each other, and all extended an arm into the air, their fingers bending to make a claw as Kurt sang.

"_Just put your paws up. 'Cause you were born this way baby."_

Kurt glanced at Wes, who was redder than anyone had ever seen him, and smiled. "_My mama told me when I was young, we're all born superstars. She rolled my hair, put my lipstick on in the glass of her boudoir._" He walked around the room slowly, smiling at the Warblers who had all suddenly become Little Monsters.

"_There's nothing wrong with lovin' who you are she said, 'cause He made you perfect babe."_ He put his hands on his hips and held his head high, smiling. "_So hold your head up, girl and you'll go far. Listen to me when I say,"_

Blaine's eyes widened when Kurt threw his tie into the air. Warblers whistled and clapped and Kurt grinned.

"_I'm beautiful in my way, 'cause God makes no mistakes, I'm on the right track baby I was born this way."_ He unbuttoned his blazer and threw it off one of his arms. "_Don't hide yourself in regret, just love yourself and you're set."_ He threw the blazer to the ground. He wasn't wearing the usual undershirt today. Today he wore a purple vest that now made his awfully tight skinny jeans make sense. "_I'm on the right track baby I was born this way."_

To Blaine's surprise, the other Warblers loved it. They were all snapping and whooping, grinning at Kurt and enjoying themselves. Kurt looked over and blew a kiss to Wes, who looked as if he was going to explode at any moment.

"_Ooh, there ain't no other way. Baby I was born this way. Baby I was born this way. Ooh there ain't no other way, baby I was born this way. Baby I was born this way!"_

Kurt laughed when some of the Warblers lifted him up. He leaned backwards as they spun him and he closed his eyes, grinning.

"_Don't be a drag, just be a queen."_

He slid away from their hands and danced with them, and they happily danced back. Some Warblers untied their ties while others threw their blazers to the ground.

Blaine looked on, his arms crossed and his grin wide. It was a Lady Gaga sex riot.

The other Warblers began to sing the tune with him, some singing back up and others singing the words with Kurt. Blaine didn't think he'd ever seen Kurt so happy as he did, dancing and singing, finally belonging with the Warblers.

Then Kurt turned his attention to Blaine and sauntered over, making Blaine blush.

"Wh-"

Kurt took his tie and smiled softly. "_Don't be a drag, just be a queen whether you're broke or evergreen. You're black, white, beige, chola descent, you're Lebanese you're orient."_ He untied Blaine's tie and threw it away, and Blaine watched it float to the ground. He smiled softly, and turned to Kurt again, who was smiling softly.

"_Whether life's disabilities left you outcast, bullied or teased, rejoice and love yourself today 'cause baby you were born this way."_

He unbuttoned Blaine's blazer slowly, using a finger to tilt Blaine's chin up so their eyes locked. Blaine felt a shiver run down his spine, but he listened to Kurt with an open heart. He knew what words came next, and he smiled.

Kurt smiled warmly to his mentor. His friend.

"_No matter gay, straight, or bi."_

He took Blaine's blazer off and threw it to the mounting pile, and Blaine chuckled softly. "_Lesbian, transgendered life."_

Blaine joined in now, singing with Kurt.

"_I'm on the right track, baby, I was born to survive."_

Their fingers intertwined and Kurt tilted his head back and laughed. They were singing together. They were equals. They were all born this way.

"_I'm beautiful in my way, 'cause God makes no mistakes, I'm on the right track baby I was born this way."_

"_I was born this way, I was born this way. I'm on the right track baby I was born this way."_

As the music on the iPod slowly faded away, the entire room was filled with cheering. "That was the best song ever!" "That will definitely win us regionals!"

They all walked over and congratulated Kurt on his awesome pick of a song. They all patted his shoulders, some hugging him and others still dancing a bit and singing the words over and over. Kurt laughed softly and thanked them, glancing to Blaine and winking.

Blaine laughed softly, shaking his head. "You're crazy."

Kurt smiled. "I know." He let out a surprised gasp when the Warblers lifted him up and chanted his name. "This is the guy who's going to win us nationals!" "Where've you been hiding that voice, huh Kurt?"

Blaine leaned against a wall and smiled softly as they celebrated. He was happy for Kurt. He finally belonged. He glanced over to the council table where even David had abandoned Wes and left him alone with his gavel. Blaine walked over and sat next to his friend, smiling softly.

"Still don't like it?"

Wes looked over, sighing. "It's highly inappropriate. Do you know how many of the Warblers take their blazers to the dry cleaners? And that's just for a spec of dust. Imagine how many times they'll need to be washed. They've been on the floor for almost three minutes. Who strips during a song anyway?"

Blaine chuckled. "A lot of singers actually." He nudged Wes. "Come on, everyone loves it. You can't tell me you don't like it."

Wes rolled his eyes, folding his arms. "…I guess if everyone agrees."

Blaine smiled softly. "Thank you Wes. You don't know how much this'll mean to Kurt."

"I have eyes." Wes mumbled, looking at Kurt who was talking excitedly now to the Warblers who had grouped around him. "I know."

They all looked odd. Some Warblers wore a white undershirt with their tie still around their necks, others wore their blazers only half on. But they all looked odd together, and that made Wes smile.

Just a little.


	13. Chapter 13

For those of you who thought that last chapter was the ending…nope XD I still have way too much to torture you with! Thank you all for reading, favoriting and reviewing! Please enjoy this latest chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

* * *

"No he did not!"

Kurt tried to keep his eyes on the road but wanted to see if there was any trace of deception on Blaine's face. Blaine only grinned.

"I swear to you Kurt Hummel. Wes smiled."

Kurt shook his head, not believing it for a second. "That's impossible. Wes doesn't _smile_. That's not his thing."

"He smiled today."

Kurt hummed softly. After the Warblers voted Born This Way for a performance at regionals, despite Wes's reservations about the song, Kurt's heart soared. He wanted to rub it in Blaine's face. 'See? I don't need to blend. Blending is for makeup, not Kurt Hummel.'

"I wonder if it hurt."

Blaine blinked. "If what hurt?"

"If smiling hurt Wes's face or something."

The car was silent before both boys burst into laughter.

"Maybe you're right." Blaine chuckled softly. "I've known Wes for a couple of years now and this is the first time I've actually seen him smile."

Kurt laughed softly, shaking his head and pulling off the Lima exit. "It must come issued with the uniform."

"It does." Blaine blinked. "Did you not get your personality removed?" He feigned a horrified gasp and used his index fingers as an X. "Witch!"

Kurt chuckled softly. "I knew I skipped one of those lines at orientation."

Blaine rolled down the window and let the fresh air filter in. The sun was still setting, leaving the sky full of soft purple and orange. He watched the scenery as they passed by houses and cars, humming softly.

They arrived at the mall a few minutes later, and Blaine pulled out his phone. "Rachel says they're just leaving so they'll be a minute."

Kurt groaned. "If she takes forever to get here and still shows up in a five-year-old girl's sweater I will never, ever understand her."

"Her sweaters aren't….that bad."

Kurt glanced over to him. "You haven't seen them all yet."

Blaine chuckled softly. Kurt parked the car and leaned back in his seat, sighing softly. He wanted to ask what Blaine saw in her. What was he thinking? She was a teenager wearing what Catholic school girls wore. Every. Day. It wasn't exactly outfit repeating that bothered Kurt, it was what Rachel thought fashionable. Sure, a sweater here or there in winter and fall, not all day every day.

But he was trying to control himself. If this is what Blaine wanted them Kurt would support his friend. Because that's all they were: friends. He had bit his tongue and supported Blaine with that whole Jeremiah thing, and so he would support Blaine through the other crushes who were inexplicably all named after someone in the Bible. As long as there was no one named Timothy. He didn't think he could handle that.

He closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh. He promised that he'd make himself a better person. He was trying. He really was but…maybe he saw Blaine as his only chance. And he was. Blaine was the only other openly gay guy he'd met in his life. Not even Jeremiah was out and proud like they were…or at least before Blaine started to question himself.

Kurt didn't need to question himself. He knew who he was. He knew he would never feel the same heartbreak if a girl had done to him what Blaine had. He wouldn't pine after a girl like he was over Blaine.

Maybe he hadn't been trying hard enough.

He let out another soft sigh. Things were just too confusing. Not only was Blaine questioning himself, he was making Kurt question himself as well. But why should he? Just because someone else was going through an identity crisis it didn't mean everything that Kurt knew about himself went right out the window. And these lips pressing against his weren't helping.

…Wait, lips?

He opened his eyes and saw Blaine's soft hazel eyes looking at him as he kissed Kurt. His lips were slightly chapped and rough, and Kurt was actually enjoying that. Maybe the slight scratches made it all the more real. Blaine was kissing him!

Kurt's eyes fluttered closed as he basked in the long, sweet kiss. He felt Blaine's hand cup under his jaw and he blushed. He felt Blaine slightly open his mouth and he was all too eager to do the same, allowing Blaine's tongue access into his mouth. He shivered as he heard Blaine moan softly, and he let out a soft, contented sigh.

Shyly, he pressed his tongue against Blaine's and he couldn't help but gasp softly when Blaine did the same. Had he died?

He heard himself whimper when Blaine pulled away, and opened his eyes to see the same sky greeting him from behind the windshield of his car. So he hadn't died. He looked over and saw Blaine watching him, his lips still slightly parted from the heated kiss.

Kurt's heart was pounding hard. That was amazing…And it had been all he needed to stop questioning himself. He knew for sure now that he was definitely gay and he had no problem with it whatsoever. But Blaine looked…disappointed?

"What…" Kurt asked softly, trying to learn how to breathe again. "What was that for?"

Blaine looked away from Kurt, suddenly interested in the dashboard. "I…it was a test."

Maybe Kurt should keep all questions to himself from now on. Now the kiss wasn't the only reason he had no air in his lungs. He felt like someone had….there was nothing to even compare it to.

"A…a test."

Blaine nodded.

Kurt couldn't believe this. They had just started to get along again and Blaine does this. He kisses Kurt to test out his sexuality. Why did this keep happening? Did the universe want Kurt to throw himself off of the tallest thing he could find?

He looked away from Blaine, staring at the steering wheel blankly. "And the result?"

Blaine was silent for a long time as he thought about it. The kiss was great, don't get him wrong but…was it simply lust? When he kissed Kurt he didn't…he didn't notice anything different as he had with Rachel. Nothing was heightened for Blaine. It was just…a heated kiss. Right?"

"I just…I don't know." He smiled bitterly. "Still confused as ever."

Kurt didn't look over. He was fine that Blaine was confused. Maybe if Kurt supported him through this confusion then when Blaine finally found himself he would see that Kurt was the right choice for him. But Blaine didn't need to drag Kurt through his confusion as well. Especially not with a kiss. Especially not with a kiss like that. It was so amazing, so different from the other kisses he'd experienced. It had been special. And to Blaine, it was merely experimental.

Kurt was crushed.

"Kurt?"

"…hm?"

Blaine opened his door. "The girls are here."

Oh, right. The girls. Kurt nodded and started to get out when Blaine said his name again. He looked over, and Blaine looked…almost scared.

"What?"

Blaine bit his lip, watching Kurt with pleading eyes. "Don't tell Rachel that we kissed? I don't want her to get the wrong idea."

Maybe Kurt should just run him over now, save himself a lot of grief. Maybe he should just throw himself under the next moving car. That would be less painful. Kurt's throat felt dry and raw as he simply nodded and slid out of his Navigator, slamming the door shut.

That's right. Blaine wouldn't want to give Rachel the impression that he was a lost kid going around and kissing anything with lips in order to find out who he was without regard to anyone else's feelings. Blaine wouldn't want to seem less than perfect to Rachel fucking Berry. He wouldn't want to mess her up mentally like he was doing to Kurt.

How could Kurt have been so stupid?

He felt numb as he hugged Brittany, who looked amazing in a gray-striped long-sleeved white sweater whose collar fell around her shoulders and a tight plether black skirt. Even in his pain, Kurt wondered how a girl who made dirt look intelligent put together these wonderful outfits.

He didn't look over to see what Rachel and Blaine were doing. By their silent greeting he was sure they were already making out. He couldn't handle watching that right now, especially not ever becoming Blaine's guinea pig.

He was surprised, however, to see Santana slid out of Brittany's car as well. She looked beautifully evil in a sparkling silver dress with a black blazer over her shoulders.

"What are you doing here?"

Santana scowled. "Don't sound so happy to see me. Who passes up a free trip to Breadstix?"

"Sam did." Brittany said, tilting her head to the side.

Kurt was amused for a split second. "You're telling me that Sam didn't want to come with you?"

Santana linked her arm with Brittany's. "Yep. And I'm stealing your date."

Kurt shrugged. "That's fine with me. Being straight sounds painful anyway." Especially after that kiss. "But what happened with Artie, Brittany? I thought you were both happy together."

Brittany nodded. "We are but aren't there different kinds of boyfriends? Like long-distance boyfriends and….short-distance boyfriends…"

Santana and Kurt stared at her a moment before Santana shrugged. "Oh well. It's not like he'd believe lady face here would ever go for a girl again."

"I think your personality has cured me of ever wanting to be with anyone who has the possibility of ending up like you." Kurt commented dryly. Santana smiled smugly and they walked into the mall. Kurt glanced to the other two, who were holding each other and talking softly. That moving car thing sounded better and better every second.

Instead of calling any attention to himself, he walked away and followed Brittany and Santana into the mall. He walked a bit behind them, wanting to be alone with his thoughts. Though it wasn't like his thoughts were any different than they had been since the party. And now he couldn't get that kiss out of his head.

Did Blaine enjoy this? Did he enjoy tugging Kurt along like a puppy and then smashing all of his hopes and dreams for Rachel fucking Berry? Kurt was convinced that was Rachel's middle name now. There were a few other derogatory names but 'Rachel fucking Berry' just flowed off the tip of one's tongue.

"Kurt, wait up!"

He pretended not to hear Blaine calling him. There was no way in hell that he was going to spend the next two minutes walking to Breadstix with the Mr. and Mrs. He walked a little faster now and caught up with Brittany and Santana, who immediately noticed Kurt's saddened expression.

"You know what you need?" Santana asked, suddenly very polite and sound concerned.

"A therapist?" Kurt asked.

Santana and Brittany each linked their arms with his and walked into Breadstix. "A night out with the girls."

Kurt's eyes widened and he looked over to Santana. "…are you…'worried' about me?"

"No idea what that word means."

"I'm not surprised."

"I've been looking for an excuse to wear this dress and go out clubbing. There's no way I'm passing up a chance to go clubbing tonight, and you're coming with us. I know Berry stole your man and all but you're actually starting to depress me."

"Sorry." He mumbled softly, but he did ponder the thought. What if he did go clubbing? He'd never gone remotely near a club in his life before but the concept of dancing until he forgot who he was sounded appealing.

"I'm not drinking."

Santana smirked. "So you're in?"

Kurt hesitated a moment before nodding.

"I'm in."


	14. Chapter 14

Hahahaha you guys crack me up so bad XD Most if not all of the reviews I'm getting either ask if I hate Blaine or tell me I'm making them hate Blaine.

I kind of do dislike him. I had so much hope when he held Kurt's hand, slow-mo hallwayed and then sang Teenage Dream while having eye sex with Kurt. Then, you know, everything else happened and I was so mad at him. I still am. Did no one else notice that he suddenly had to use the bathroom and Rachel left right after that as well in BIOTA? Just saying. I'm not trying to make everyone hate him. I just think this is something his character would do…all things considered.

I'm really glad that everyone's getting into it and I hope you enjoy the latest chapter! Thank you all for reading, favoriting and reviewing!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

* * *

"-then naturally after almost half an hour of explaining to Mr. Schue that no one else could possibly write a song with this much enthusiasm or nature of inspiration, he finally gave in and we will be performing a song that I myself wrote at regionals!"

As Rachel clapped for herself and Blaine smiled, Kurt sipped his water slowly and wondered briefly if shoving a plastic straw into his ears would cause him to immediately go deaf. He glanced beside himself to Brittany and Santana, who looked equally bored. He sighed softly, causing some bubbles to pop in his ice water. What a night.

"But of course since you're the competition I unfortunately can't share it with you. You'll just have to see my genius at work the day of."

Santana turned to Kurt. "I'll sell it to you for five bucks."

Kurt didn't bat an eye. "Woe is me, I have no change."

"I have a change of clothes in the car." Brittany said, looking over to them, then Rachel. "Trade you a sock."

Rachel stared at the blond. "Brittany you know the song. We're rehearsing it in practice."

Blaine blinked, a little concerned now. "Why do you have a change of clothes in the car? Is everything okay at home?"

Brittany nodded. "Santana said I needed something slothier for the club."

Santana looked over, rolling her eyes. "I said sluttier. Sluttier, Britt."

Brittany looked down at her iced tea blankly. "Does that mean I have to return the fur?"

"Wait, were you guys going to go to a club without us?" Rachel asked.

"We were hoping." Santana growled, glaring at Brittany who was currently mourning the separation she and her sloth costume would have to endure tomorrow when she returned it. "The club scene isn't your type of place, Berry."

Rachel's eyes widened. "Of course it is! Singing and dancing all night until the sun comes up? That's what I live for! It's like you don't know me at all!"

Santana and Kurt exchanged a look. "You're welcome to join us." Kurt mumbled, blowing more bubbles in his ice water. It wasn't like it would make a difference if Raine was there or not. He would still wonder what they were doing even if they didn't come. Now, lucky him, he could watch them make out instead of just imagine. Joy.

Rachel intertwined her and Blaine's fingers, smiling up at him. "What do you think Blaine?"

Kurt mocked her silently, rolling his eyes as Blaine smiled. "That sounds really fun! Though I don't think we should drink this time. That hangover was killer last time."

Rachel nodded. "I agree wholeheartedly. I would never have been able to write the masterpiece that is my song if I had been inebriated. I think we all learned a valuable lesson from my party."

"Always bring a condom, even to Berry's house." Santana said and smirked when Rachel looked appalled. "Don't worry, I don't _think_ it was your bed."

"That's a horrid thing to do Santana." "Hey, _someone_ had to put it to good use."

Kurt stifled a laugh. Right now Kurt didn't care if Santana lit Rachel on fire. It would still be hilarious. He reached for another breadstick and nibbled on it slowly while the others talked and Santana played 'how quickly can Rachel get mad' by herself. She was quite good at it from where Kurt was sitting. He loved to see Rachel flustered and annoyed while Santana just let her mouth run and smirk. That was all it took really. A jab at her singing, a poke at her sweater, and Rachel Berry would crumble all the more.

Maybe that's why it pained Kurt to see Blaine choose her over him. Really they were the same person with different anatomical parts. Though Kurt wasn't as annoying as Rachel and his fashion sense…well, did he really need to say anything? So why Rachel? Why not Santana? If Blaine was looking to bang out a girl then Santana would let him in easy. Kurt didn't understand. He didn't think he ever would and he was tired of trying to figure it out.

He sat back a bit when their meals came. His side salad looked crisp and delicious and he dug in immediately while the others awed over each other's meals. Blaine looked over at Kurt's small salad, blinking. "Kurt is that all you're eating?"

Kurt looked over and had to urge to snap at the other. Why the hell was he so concerned over what Kurt was doing? Was he worried that his guinea pig was eating too much and would therefore be so unattractive that he couldn't test out anymore kisses and would then have to find someone else?

Instead, he nodded. "One shouldn't eat too much before going to a club. Having a huge meal and then going to dance is never a good idea."

"That's weird Kurt." Santana said, smirking. "How would you know that? It's not like you've ever been to a dance or anything. At least I haven't seen you at any of the school dances."

Kurt glared over at her. That was a low blow. But then again Santana wouldn't know about Kurt's dream to go to a dance with a boy he loved and dance the night away, would she? It wasn't like they were friends. "Why would I go to a school function where the game would be 'humiliate Hummel' all night?"

"If that's the issue then what's the point of living?"

Kurt looked back to his salad and took another bite. He asked himself that same question. Lately every day seemed to be 'Humiliate Hummel' day.

He listened to the others talk about school, whine about grades and teachers and of course, glee club. It was then that Blaine grinned. "And today Kurt totally showed everyone up by performing Born This Way. He had the entire room stripping."

Rachel looked over, smiling. "Really Kurt? I didn't think that song was your style!"

Kurt shrugged. "I like Lady Gaga. I think that's pretty obvious considering I almost had my ass kicked for wearing a Gaga-inspired outfit."

"Have you seen the pictures from that, Blaine?" Rachel pulled out her phone and showed Blaine, who looked at them with wide grins. "Whoa you guys all look really good."

Rachel nodded. "See my dress? My mother is amazing. Her talents are truly endless. She not only has a voice that could almost compare to mine, she is a master seamstress. She made that dress from scratch with only a picture as a reference. And it only took a day!"

"Hey, I know yous ain't forgetting whose outfit was the sexiest." Santana interjected. "That bow was doing all kinds of good for my rep. Mama taught this girl well."

"That lobster my dad made just made me hungry." Brittany said softly, eating some more of her pasta. "But I couldn't drive my car because I was blinding the other drivers."

Blaine smiled. "That's so cool, ladies. Who made yours Kurt?"

Kurt wiped his mouth with the cloth napkin and set it back on his lap. "I did."

They all watched him silently as he offered no more explanation than that. He looked up and around the table. "…what?"

Blaine cleared his throat a bit and Rachel smiled. "Did I tell you guys I wrote a song?"

* * *

After the invigorating dinner conversation the waitress left the check on the table and Blaine took it with a soft smile. "I got it you guys."

"Such a gentleman!" Rachel giggled softly, snuggling to Blaine's side. He chuckled softly and reached into his pocket, blinking. "That's funny, I thought…." He checked his other pockets, groaning. "I must have left my wallet at school. Kurt did you-"

Kurt reached over and grabbed the check, going up to the counter and giving it to the cashier, along with his credit card. The transaction was swift, seeing as Kurt looked annoyed and the cashier really didn't want to get into it with any teenagers. Kurt returned to the table, not bothering to sit down. "Ready?"

The slightly shocked table nodded, all slowly sliding out of the booth. While the three girls walked ahead, Blaine stayed back with Kurt. "Kurt I'm sorry, I guess I just-"

"It's fine Blaine, really." Kurt forced a smile, looking over to the other. "Luckily I had my wallet so it's no big deal."

"It's not fair though." Blaine protested softly. "I mean, you had the least expensive thing on there."

A lot isn't fair right now Blaine, Kurt thought darkly. And most, if not all, of it is your fault. An unpaid bill should be the very least of your concerns. Though Kurt was a little sad. He had been saving up for a pair of Doc Martens and Breadstix wasn't exactly cheap. Oh well, it was just another sacrifice for this clueless oaf who looked less and less attractive the more Kurt listened to him.

"Let's just enjoy the night." Kurt mumbled, walking ahead of Blaine but not exactly catching up with the girls. If he had to hear Rachel talking about what a lyrical genius she was one more time he was going to be sick all over her navy blue sweater. Not that it was a bad thing. He would be doing the world a load of good, in fact.

The cool night air greeted him when he opened the glass door into the open parking lot, and he squinted around to find his car. Seeing the large car, he started to walk over to it when someone caught his arm. Fear made his blood run cold and he turned slowly, letting out a breath of relief when he saw it was only Blaine.

"Oh my God you scared me."

Blaine let his arm go, biting his lip. "Sorry, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Okay?

He was about to go to a nightclub where he was going to be underage and miserable watching the boy he'd come to love after only a few months make out with his ex-friend who had made him feel like he belonged when he felt the most miserable and comforted him when he needed her.

He was fantastic.

He nodded, forcing another smile. If it hurt him to smile he could only imagine the pain that Wes felt, smiling once in a century.

"I'm fine."

Kurt was a little disappointed when Blaine grinned.

"Awesome, let's go have some fun then!"

* * *

And oh the fun they were having.

They had taken the Navigator since it was the biggest car they had, and of course Santana got them in with a promise for something called a lemon drop behind the dumpster in back for the guard at the door.

Naturally, Kurt was stuck at the bar while Santana, Brittany, Rachel and Blaine all danced together. The former Cheerios were grinding against each other, much to the delight of the male patrons of the club while Blaine and Rachel ignored the pulsing beat of the wordless song playing at the moment and danced slowly.

Kurt watched as Rachel leaned up into Blaine's ear and said something that made the Warbler tilt his head back and laugh. How cute. How utterly cliché. He grabbed the drink in front of him and sipped slowly, sighing. Just a few hours ago those lips that were now pressing against Rachel's ear were pressing against Kurt's lips, coaxing his mouth open and sucking on his tongue. Now Kurt's lips were busy with their date with this diet coke. At least that's what Kurt had ordered. This had to have something else mixed in because it didn't taste like the usual flat cola he had.

Not like he cared. Maybe whatever this was could loosen him up and maybe he could confront Rachel and Blaine. Maybe he could work up the courage to tell Blaine how he really, truly felt about him and maybe he could kiss him again.

Or maybe there was no amount of booze in the world that could make any of that happen. Oh well. As long as he got drunk enough to slap Rachel Berry and get away with it then maybe he could be satisfied with that. He whined a little as the drink disappeared and he raised his glass. "Can I get another please?"

The bartender slid him another full drink and he took it, stirring the two ice cubes in the glass with the red straw it came with as he watched Blaine twirl Rachel in his arms and pull her close. Rachel blushed and wrapped her arms around his neck and they kissed. It was a closed-mouth kiss at first, but then Blaine coaxed her lips open and their tongues swirled together slowly.

Oh how perfect.

Kurt downed the drink and turned to the bartender, who looked a bit shocked. "Keep them coming." He said over the loud music, sliding the empty glass back.

After that, Kurt didn't remember much. He remembered drinking what seemed like the same drink over and over. He remembered someone pulling him close and whispering something he couldn't understand into his ear, and he giggled anyway. He remembered an arm slung over his shoulder and the same stranger whispering sweet nonsense into his ear as he sipped down drink after drink, laughing in between. He didn't remember the last time he had so much fun.

He remembered dancing with the stranger. For some reason though, Kurt couldn't look up to his face. The world would get blurry and tip over a bit and he would stumble. Luckily the stranger caught him and pulled him close, and Kurt thanked him by grinding up against him. These strong hands groped at him and Kurt felt himself blushing. No man had ever done this with him before. He had never been so close to someone as he was now, wrapping his arms around the stranger's neck as he had seen Rachel do with Blaine earlier.

He had never kissed someone so sloppily and had them kiss back. The sensation sent sparks throughout his body and he moaned softly, clinging to the stranger as if his life depended on it. He felt the man's hands roaming all over his body and for once Kurt didn't care. He didn't want to care and sent all sense to the back of his mind. He was tired of being good. Being good never got him anywhere. It didn't get him a solo, it didn't get him a boyfriend, so why use it? It was obviously useless.

The music seemed to pulsate through his entire body and it made him all the more excited. He danced sensually with the stranger, kissing him often and smiling softly. When the song changed, the stranger cupped Kurt's face and tilted his head, whispering something into Kurt's ear.

Though Rachel was still hanging on him, all Blaine seemed to see was Kurt, only a few feet away from him and yet it seemed like miles.

Kurt, in some other guy's arms.

Kurt, listening to some other guy whispering.

Kurt, arms wrapped around some other guy's neck.

Kurt, giggling and nodding, walking off with some other guy.

If that kiss earlier meant nothing, then why did Blaine feel so hurt? He looked down to Rachel and stopped her talking by tilting her head up and kissing her again. She eagerly kissed back, holding on tightly to him. Yet he felt nothing…none of that spark. None of the magic he felt earlier. But why? He had felt it before at the party…when he was drunk.

Had that been the booze?

He broke the kiss gently and let Rachel rest her head on his shoulder. Why was he so confused? It seemed simple enough right? Who did he feel spark with? He had been lying to Kurt. He felt it. He felt that same feeling with Kurt when they kissed in the Navigator, but Blaine had been afraid. He didn't want to keep changing his feelings like this. He saw what it was doing to Kurt. He saw Kurt's face fall when he said the kiss had been a test. He couldn't keep doing this to Kurt. Kurt didn't deserve this.

But that stranger didn't deserve Kurt.

"I'll be right back." He said to her, prying himself away and pushing through the crowd, following where he had seen Kurt and that other guy disappear. Seeing that it led to the bathrooms, Blaine's heart dropped. No…Kurt wouldn't do that right? It was Kurt, for God's sake. He had standards! He wouldn't just…no. He couldn't. He wouldn't.

* * *

He remembered cold tiles against his back. His shirt being pulled off and kisses pressed against his chest. He tilted his head back and moaned, running his fingers through the stranger's short hair. He felt an odd sensation in his lower body. It was painful but Kurt wanted more. He needed more. Every movement ripped a gasp from his lips, every kiss made his spine tingle, every thrust that sent the stranger deeper inside of him made his fingers grip harder. But he needed more.

He remembered needing more.

* * *

Blaine leaned against a barstool, watching the bathroom door intently. He was afraid to go in there. He didn't want to find what his mind was screaming at him that was happening behind that closed door. So he waited.

His heart jumped when he saw the doorknob move, and finally the door opened. Seeing who stepped out sent a million things through his head. Rage, anger, sadness, worry, fear, desperation, and the fact that Kurt didn't know what he had just done with the lowest piece of life the world had to offer.

"Karofsky." Blaine snarled.


	15. Chapter 15

Weekend update, yay! I'm updating this story way too fast, but I need to get my ideas down before they leave. Plus, everyone seems to really be enjoying it, which I am very happy about! Thank you everyone for reading, favoriting and reviewing! Please enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

* * *

Dave hadn't expected much of just another Saturday night. Sure there were a handful of parties that his friends were throwing he could have gone to but he just….he didn't feel into it anymore. He didn't feel like he belonged anymore. It wasn't like Azimio or any of the others treated him different. In fact they all seemed to have gotten a little closer since the championship game when they performed with the glee club. Still, Dave was so conflicted within himself.

Just because they were all just slightly friendlier to each other that didn't mean Dave could come out of the closet without any consequences. He would probably end up just like Hummel: humiliated every day and forced to run away to escape it. He didn't want to run. As much as he hated the homework and the teachers, McKinley was his life. His friends were his life.

But how much longer could he live a lie?

Instead of going to just another party he drove around Lima for a while, wondering what he was going to do about…everything. He was sure his parents would love him all the same. After getting expelled by Sue Sylvester because of Hummel, his mom and dad sat him down and told him that they would take him to counseling. They assured him that no matter what, they would love him. But Dave wasn't so sure this was included in that care package.

He drove to the outskirts of town, where he knew there was a club he could easily get into. He left his letterman jacket in his car for once, wanting to forget for a moment who he was. Who was in his life. Who he was supposed to be. Who he wasn't. He wanted to forget the shell of a man he was pretending to be and drink and dance until he forgot all about being just another Lima loser.

Imagine his surprise when he saw a familiar face at the bar.

Dave didn't believe all that much in fate, but the moment that Kurt Hummel came into view he cursed whatever fate brought him here. He wanted to forget all of that shit. He wanted to leave it behind. Instead he left behind a life he knew how to blend into well, and in walking into this distraction he ran into Kurt Hummel. The boy who made his life such a torturous existence that Dave hated him for it and made Kurt feel all the pain he made Dave feel simply by existing.

There was no way he could exactly pull the same crap he had been pulling since before Kurt left. There were no lockers to slam him in, no slushies readily available, nothing to trip him over. There were also no jocks. No football players laughing and mocking Dave as he stared at Kurt all alone at the bar. No losers from glee club telling him to back off. No Sue Sylvester threatening to have his head. Right now there was just Kurt and Dave.

He walked over and leaned in. "Hey." He mumbled into Hummel's ear. His heart was beating erratically in his chest and he feared the worst. Kurt throwing a drink in his face, Kurt screaming for help and getting Dave arrested, Kurt slapping him, Kurt running where Dave couldn't find him again. Instead, Kurt turned his head slightly and giggled softly. "Hi."

Was this a dream? Kurt wasn't running? He wasn't afraid?

Dave smiled a little, watching Kurt sip a drink. "Can I get you another?"

Kurt nodded enthusiastically, grinning. "Sure, thanks!"

Dave motioned to the bartender for another drink and handed it to Kurt when the man behind the counter slid it over. Kurt took it and smiled shyly at Dave, making the football player actually blush.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Dave took the stool next to Kurt, and they just watched each other for the longest time. Dave saw the crest on Kurt's blazer and figured that was the school he was going to now. Uniforms seemed odd to him though. Kurt wasn't the type of person who would wear something everyone else was wearing. Then again Dave supposed a lot of things about Kurt had changed since he chased the boy out of McKinley.

"How…How've you been?"

Kurt's head bobbed up and down. "Good, real good." He took another sip and another drink was gone. "Well…not real good." He mumbled, and Dave saw a sadness he thought only he had the ability to put in Kurt's eyes.

"Well what's wrong?"Dave asked, and Kurt wiped his eyes.

"I just...it's really dumb." He looked like he was about to cry. His lower lip trembled and he shook his head a little.

"I bet it's not dumb." Dave said softly, offering a smile to Kurt. "Tell me."

Kurt sighed softly, using the straw in his now empty drink to play with the ice. "This guy that I like at my new school, he's really nice and stuff but he's really into Rachel."

Dave's eyes widened. "Berry?"

Kurt nodded. "Yeah, even after he told me he was gay and junk. Then he kissed me and I thought he really liked me but he's just…he's a jerk."

Dave bit his lip. "I'm really sorry."

"It's not your fault." Kurt mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

Dave watched him and nodded. "Yeah it is. If I hadn't scared you, you wouldn't have had to meet this guy right? Then you wouldn't be sitting here all sad." Nor would Dave have the opportunity he had right now.

"It's okay." Kurt said, taking the new drink the bartender slid over. "I know why you did it."

"…you do?"

Kurt nodded and smiled softly at Dave, and it was at that moment Dave remembered why he had fallen in love with Kurt. It wasn't because of his talent, he'd never heard Kurt sing. It wasn't his fashion because Dave didn't have a clue what any of the clothing labels meant. It was just Kurt. The way he walked confidently and held his head high despite just having crawled out of the dumpster after the usual morning toss. It was the way snarky comments flowed right out of his mouth without him even having to think about it. It was the way he smiled and chuckled softly. It was the way he checked in the mirror he had hung in his locker to make sure everything was in place.

He'd just fallen in love with Kurt Hummel.

Dave wrapped an arm around Kurt's shoulder and pulled him close, whispering into his ear, "I'm really sorry Kurt. About everything. About being an ass to you, giving you slushie facials…everything." He felt hot tears running down his cheeks because even if Kurt forgave Dave, he couldn't forgive himself. He'd hurt the one person he cared about most and forced him to this. He'd never be the man that Kurt wanted.

He was surprised when Kurt cupped his cheek and made Dave look at him. "Look," He said softly, "We all make stupid mistakes. But that's how we grow up right? If I never left, would you have ever performed with glee club?"

Dave shook his head.

"Would you have ever danced with them on the football field and had as much fun as you did?"

He shook his head again.

"Would you be talking to me right now?"

Hesitation, and then another shake of his head.

Kurt smiled softly. "Then it was all for the best right?"

Dave watched him a moment, then leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to Kurt's lips. He thought he had died and gone straight to heaven when instead of pushing him away again, Kurt kissed Dave back. Dave pulled Kurt close and cradled his head in his hands as they kissed. He shivered when Kurt let out a soft moan. God, this was amazing.

The kiss broke slowly, and Kurt grinned up at him. "Let's go dance, okay?"

Dave nodded quickly, blushing more when Kurt took his hand and led him into the crowd of people. They danced for what seemed like forever, and Dave barely handled it when Kurt pressed himself against the football player. He would occasionally lose his balance, but that's when Dave shot out his arms and held Kurt up before pulling him close. For years he'd wanted this. Every year when there was a dance he had always wanted to ask Kurt. Of course, the fear of other seeing them dance stopped him every time. But now…no one was looking. No one was gawking at them or laughing at them. It was just the two of them having a good time, and Dave couldn't be happier.

He cupped Kurt's cheek and tilted his head to the side gently, whispering words he thought he would never have the courage to say to Kurt. Words that floated in his mind every time he saw Kurt. Words that always seemed to choke him up when they were the only words he wanted to say to one Kurt Hummel. But now he wasn't choking up. He was brave. He was happy. He was going to say this to Kurt if it killed him.

"I love you." He whispered.

He felt Kurt stiffen in his arms, and Dave's heart ached. Should he have said it? Should he have waited? Was there a better time to say it than this? All of that worry, however, melted away when Kurt wrapped his arms around Dave's neck and hugged tightly. Dave wrapped his arms around Kurt's tiny waist and hugged him close. He never thought he could smile this much before.

"I don't love you Dave." Kurt whispered into his ear. "But I think I can learn to." He smiled and tilted his head. "Think you can teach me, Davie?"

Dave watched him for a long while, grinning and nodding. "Why don't we start tonight?"

Kurt giggled softly, nodding and taking Dave's hand. "I know exactly where we can start the lessons."

Dave followed him away from the crowd of people, and seeing where they were headed sent confliction emotions throughout his brain. On the one hand, he was about to get some action with an added bonus of getting some action with the guy he was in love with. On the other hand, did he really want to take Kurt's virginity in a club bathroom?

When Kurt locked the door and kissed Dave passionately, it seemed there was only one choice.

He pulled Kurt close, their tongues sliding together and their moans responding to the movements. Dave gasped when Kurt brushed his knee against his hardened groin and he couldn't take it. He wasn't going to hold out for too long.

"Kurt." He whispered, pressing the smaller boy against the tiled wall. Kurt looked down, fumbling with the buttons of his blazer and discarding it quickly. Dave used his tie to pull him into another deep, heated kiss. Kurt kissed him back with as much passion and lust, all while unbuttoning his crisp white shirt. Dave slid the tie off and pressed soft kisses against Kurt's chest, making the boy tremble underneath him.

"Dave, please…" Kurt whispered, and Dave slid the white shirt away.

"I need you."

And who was Dave to say no?

He unzipped Kurt's pants and slid his hand down. Feeling his hardness, Dave was both excited and scared. He had never done this before. Sure he'd seen porn but…this was different. He wanted it to be perfect. Even if they were in a club bathroom. Kurt slumped against him and panted in Dave's ear, making the football player's own erection pulsate in excitement.

"Please Davie…"

And that was all it took. Dave found himself with his own pants down, his throbbing hardness thrusting into Kurt. He held Kurt up as he moved, panting and moaning softly. This was so amazing...no amount of dreams could have ever been this wonderful. Kurt had his arms around Dave's neck again, kissing him and moaning softly. Kurt's fingers tangling in his hair and gasping as Dave hit another sweet spot. It could have lasted days, weeks, months or years. They were both panting, sweaty, hot messes, their words incoherent and the pleasure too amazing for words. The music outside seemed to have stop and only lust pulsated through their bodies.

When it was over, Kurt clung to Dave wordlessly. Dave felt his knees shake a bit, pulling up his pants before sliding to sit on the floor. He never let go of Kurt, pressing soft kisses on the top of his head and rubbing small circles on Kurt's back slowly. Kurt was trying to regain his breath, panting softly as he laid in Dave's lap, their legs parallel to each other. The mirror across from them was fogged up by their panting, the tile no longer cold but warmed by their combined heat.

Dave ran his hand through Kurt's hair slowly, making Kurt smile. "Dave…"

"Mm?"

Kurt looked up, his beautiful blue eyes glossy and full of happiness. He smiled softly, moving up and kissing Dave tenderly. Dave kissed back, his heart full of fire and love. This was so amazing. Who would have thought that just another Saturday night would bring such joy? They stayed in each other's arms like this for a moment before Kurt stretched over and grabbed his pants. He fished out his cell phone from his pocket and gave it to Dave.

"Put your number in there."

Dave's eyes widened and he looked from the phone to Kurt. "Really?"

Kurt giggled, nodding. "Really. You still have to teach me how to love you, after all." He stroked Dave's cheek with his index finger slowly, smiling dreamily. "Though I don't think it'll take much after this."

Dave held Kurt's hand on his cheek, smiling softly and nodding. "Okay."

After putting his number in, Dave handed the phone back to Kurt, who moved off of him and started to get dressed. While he dusted off his pants and slid them back on, he smiled to Dave. "See you later?"

Dave nodded, unable to stop smiling. "Later."

He moved over and kissed Kurt a final time before leaving. Walking back into the club, he remembered where he was and it was almost mind-blowing that he and Kurt had shared such an amazing experience in such a place as this.

His happiness was cut short when another guy in the same uniform that Kurt was wearing. Was this the guy who hurt him?

"Karofsky." The guy snarled, and Dave remembered him from when he and Kurt tried to confront him about the locker room incident. What was his name again?

"Dave!"

Looking up, he saw Rachel Berry stomping over and knew now that this had to be the guy who Kurt was talking about.

"What are you doing here?" The girl demanded, and Dave shrugged.

"Free country. I didn't know that this was gleek territory." It sort of amused him that Rachel looked like she was getting ready to fight him or something.

"What did you do to Kurt? Where is he?" the guy demanded, and Dave shrugged. He wasn't about to explain himself to some dude who he didn't know and who didn't know him. The guy pushed past him and Dave wanted to stop him, grab him and ask him why the hell it mattered to him. But he let the guy go, pushing past Rachel and heading for the door. He wasn't going to stick around to get yelled at by some dude he could take down easily. He wasn't going to let anything ruin his night. And he wasn't going to let anything make him forget Kurt's number that he'd memorized.

It was still the best night ever.

* * *

Blaine ran over to the bathroom, and seeing what he saw almost made him sick. Kurt was sprawled out on the bathroom floor, lying on his stomach, his head resting next to a pool of vomit. His eyes were closed and his clothes were everywhere. He was only wearing pants, not even zipped or buttoned. He looked so small and vulnerable…

"Shit…" Blaine whispered, running to the boy's side and pulling him to sit up. "Kurt! Kurt, wake up!"

Kurt's eyes fluttered and he moaned. "Huh?"

Blaine shook him, willing Kurt to look at him. "What did he do to you? What did that monster do?"

Kurt hummed, his eyes rolling open and he looked around the bathroom. "Where am I?"

Blaine bit his lip, shaking Kurt and trying to make him coherent again. "Kurt, please tell me what happened!"

Kurt winced, shaking his head and rubbing his temple. "Blaine, stop, I-"

"No, tell me what happened!"

"Blaine, please-"

"Kurt don't avoid-"

Blaine stopped in mid sentence as he felt chunks of salad and stomach acid cover his blazer, tie and shirt. He looked down to Kurt, who was a light shade of green. He looked up to Blaine with half-lidded eyes.

"I don't feel so good."


	16. Chapter 16

Yay another update! I hope everyone is still enjoying this story even though I'm horrible at updating XD Thank you all for reading, favoriting and reviewing! Please enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

* * *

When he started to stir, and recognized the leather smell from underneath him, the first thing that came to Kurt's mind was, 'I'm being kidnapped. Someone drugged me and threw me in the back seat. I've been carjacked. I'm going to die.'

As all of his senses slowly started to kick in, he realized that someone was in front of him, talking softly. He recognized the voice but didn't know where from. He didn't care to find out right this second though. Right now his head was throbbing painfully and all he wanted to do was go back into the black unconsciousness he supposed he had floated up from. He hoped that the carjacker would be nice enough to carry him to wherever he was taking Kurt and not wake him up. Kurt just wanted to sleep.

As he started to float away again, he heard the voice in front suddenly becoming angry and almost yelling, making a sharp pain shoot through Kurt's head. He groaned softly, and he felt a hand gently run through his hair. For a moment he thought it was his mother, until the owner of the hand spoke. "Shh, you're going to wake Kurt up."

Kurt recognized the soft, breathy voice as Brittany and he was slightly confused. Was the carjacker going around to all of the kids in glee and taking their cars as well? Oh well. As long as he put them all in the same room then Kurt could handle it. But why wasn't Brittany in the same state as him? Had the kidnapped not drugged her? Had he figured she was too dumb to get away even if she wanted to?

There was no use sleeping anymore. Kurt forced his eyes to open. He didn't remember how painful looking around was. Even his eyeballs ached. He closed them again momentarily before opening them again, looking around. Brittany was sitting next to him, watching him with wide eyes while Santana leaned against the closed door of the car, her head leaning against the window with her eyes closed. Kurt slowly turned his head and saw that he was leaning against the window as well, and figured his hair had prevented him from feeling the cold glass.

Curious as to who was driving, he tilted his head slowly back in order to see the rearview mirror. He didn't need to see more than an eye to know that Blaine was the one driving the Navigator. It was then that he realized that Blaine had been the one who was almost yelling before, and Kurt wondered why. They weren't kidnapped as Kurt had originally suspected, so why was Blaine angry? He turned his head slightly and saw the back of Rachel's head. Why was Rachel here? Had they had a girls' night out? Then why did Kurt feel so horrible? Had he gotten food poisoning?

He let his jaw slacken and tried to ask what was happening, but all that came out was a jumble of words. He heard Santana snicker. "Is this Hummel's first time being drunk or something?" "It can't be." Rachel said, looking over at Kurt now. He recognized the emotion in her eyes as worry. "He must have been drunk at my party, right? I mean we all were that night."

The party.

Right.

Kurt remembered that part.

So he was drunk. But why? Why was he drunk when Blaine could see him be sloppy like this? That didn't sound like something he'd do. But he couldn't think clearly right now. His head felt like it was being beaten by a meat tenderizer. He moved his head so that the cold glass window was pressed against his forehead, and he sighed softly. He would have to figure all of this out later. Right now he just needed to go home and sleep this off.

Before he passed out again, he heard Blaine saying in the driver's seat, "Kurt wasn't drunk that night."

* * *

"How could you tell with that lampshade on your head?" Santana asked, and Blaine could hear the smirk in her voice.

"I know for a fact that Blaine didn't have a lampshade on his head." Rachel snapped, turning in her seat to glare at the former Cheerio. "For one, we don't own lampshades in my house."

"Oh that's right, don't your dads light the house with the star shining out of your ass?"

"Very funny." Rachel turned to sit back down in her seat, crossing her arms. Silence filled the car once more, and Blaine just got more nervous with each block closer to Kurt's house. What was he going to tell Burt and Carole about this? "Sorry we're late but I had to drag your newly devirginized son out of a club because he was too drunk to move on his own"? He wasn't so sure that was going to fly, especially not with Burt. Blaine would be lucky to have his head intact by the end of the night.

He pulled up to Brittany's house, where Santana got out of the car as well. "Since Hummel over there robbed me of any action at the club I'll be staying here." She said, slamming the car door. Brittany didn't look like she minded. Blaine waited at the curb until he saw that both girls were safely inside of the house before pulling away. "I remember you don't live too far from here, right Rachel?"

Rachel nodded. "Only a couple of blocks. Make a left at the corner and then straight down."

"Alright." Blaine mumbled, following her directions. Rachel sighed softly, rubbing her temple. "I just wish I knew what got into Kurt tonight. This really isn't like him." Blaine was silent, letting the girl think out loud to herself. "Maybe he just got really nervous with Karofsky there. Maybe seeing that big oaf brought back horrible memories and he tried to drown his sorrows in alcohol." Blaine's heart jumped when she gasped dramatically. "Blaine?"

"What?"

"You don't think…Karofsky drugged him or anything, do you?"

Blaine sighed softly, gripping the wheel a bit tighter now. It had crossed his mind when he carried Kurt out of the club, especially since Karofsky was nowhere to be found after that. And especially the way Blaine had found Kurt in the bathroom. He was sure that image of Kurt splayed out on the bathroom floor would haunt him for the rest of his life. It was straight out of a commercial warning about the dangers of date rape drugs.

"I really don't know Rachel." Blaine said truthfully. "It's definitely a possibility, but I don't want to jump to any conclusions." He bit his lip. He wanted to have faith in other people that they wouldn't do this to other people. That someone wouldn't do this to Kurt. That Karofsky wouldn't do this to Kurt. Hadn't the jock hurt him enough already? Kurt didn't deserve this.

But how had Blaine's behavior been any different?

There were a lot of major differences between he and David Karofsky, however when it came to the department of Kurt's feelings, they shared a lot of similarities. Both harmed Kurt, and while Dave was shoving Kurt into lockers and hurling insults at him, Blaine was simply being ignorant of Kurt's emotions and feelings towards him even though Kurt had the courage to tell him flat out how he felt about Blaine. Kurt could run from Dave's bullying but he couldn't run from Blaine. There was an attachment between the two Warblers that teetered on the fine line between friendship and something more. Of course Blaine felt it but he didn't want to feel it. If he felt it, that would mean he would have to act on it, and based on former actions on his behalf because of love, he really didn't want to. Unlike Dave, Blaine wanted to prevent any more harm coming to Kurt because of his inexperience in romance.

But why was it so easy with Rachel? He laughed easily with her and didn't stop to think if he was saying the right or wrong things. He kissed her simply because she kissed him first. That sounded so dumb now that he was thinking about it, but that's just how it was. Maybe it was easy because he didn't really care about Rachel the way he thought he did. He didn't love her, it was just easy with someone he didn't care to please. If he was doing the same with Kurt, he would be going mad wondering what Kurt liked and didn't like, because he cared about Kurt. He cared about what Kurt thought about him. He wanted Kurt to like him, explaining all of the façade that Blaine had been putting on. Blaine was far from perfect, and yet he wanted to be perfect around Kurt.

It all made sense now.

"Uh…Blaine?"

Rachel jumped in her seat when Blaine snapped his head over to her, a wide grin on his face. "Yes?"

Rachel's eyes were wide. "Oh, I, uh, you passed up my house five minutes ago."

He blinked. "Oh, sorry Rachel." He went to the end of the block and checked to make sure it was clear before making a u-turn. He stopped in front of the house Rachel pointed at. He pulled up against the sidewalk and put the car in park, sighing happily. He had finally figured out what was wrong with him. He knew now what he had to do, but first he needed to find the right time to do it. He was brought from his thoughts when Rachel kissed him and giggled. Before he could say anything, she got out of the car and closed the door, skipping up to her door.

Blaine tried calling out to her before sighing. It could wait another day. The task at hand now was getting Kurt into his house without anyone hearing them. It was almost two in the morning and Blaine was sure Burt wouldn't be happy about that. He would probably have to call Finn from Kurt's phone to unlock the front door for them, and probably use him as watchman just in case someone heard them downstairs. As he planned in his head, he felt soft breaths from behind him tickling his ear. He wasn't surprised to see Kurt leaning up against the back of his seat, his eyes drooping.

"Heyy…Blaine?"

Blaine smiled softly, chuckling a little. "How are you feeling Kurt? Better?" Blaine was hoping so. He had changed out of his now vomit-covered uniform and he only had a couple more outfits left in his overnight bag.

Kurt wasn't green anymore. His pale color had come back, but it seemed that his sobriety hadn't. "How come…you kiss Rachel all the time?" Blaine opened his mouth to explain before Kurt talked again. "Is it cuz you like her?" He slurred. "I guess she's pretty. Pretty girl. Would you like be better if I…I was a girl? I could walk around Dalton with a skirt." He laughed. "I would be a…a…lady bird."

Blaine sighed softly, turning in his seat and helping Kurt lie down in the backseat. "Kurt, you need to go back to sleep."

Kurt grinned, closing his eyes and using his folded arms as a pillow, snuggling against the leather interior. Blaine sighed softly, turning back around and putting the car in drive. He had driven only five seconds before he heard Kurt's voice, this time not as slurred as before, but small and sad.

"Blaine?"

"…yes Kurt?"

"How come you don't like me?"

Blaine's breath hitched, and his chest felt heavy. Kurt was quiet for a moment, watching Blaine open his mouth, then close it slowly when he couldn't find the words.

"I mean…" Kurt mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "I really like you but you don't like me and I thought you would like me because I did everything you told me to I tried not to stick out too much and now you like Rachel and she sticks out a lot more than I do and…" He let out a soft sigh after that long run-on sentence. Blaine was trying to see the road through his tears. He wanted to tell Kurt why, but he knew anything he said would be forgotten when Kurt sobered up. Once Kurt was back to normal tomorrow Blaine would tell him everything. He swore it, no matter what happened. Kurt would know the truth.

"I'm sorry."

Blaine glanced over his shoulder, in shock at what Kurt had just said. "Kurt…what do you have to be sorry for?"

Kurt was slowly sliding off of the back of the seat, his chin resting on the leather shoulder. He looked so miserable and it made Blaine's heart break all the more.

"Finn says I always do this." Kurt said, his eyes drooping closed again. "I always…make people uncomfortable…like a stalker." He mumbled, falling on the back seat.

Blaine wanted to stop the car, wanted to climb into the backseat and wanted to shake Kurt sober, and then yell at him that he didn't do anything wrong. Blaine was in the wrong. He was in the wrong. He wasn't perfect, he was just a kid. Just like Kurt was. He knew no more than Kurt did. While Kurt was finding himself, Blaine was too. He wanted to scream that he was sorry. But he needed to hold his tongue. Kurt didn't know what he was saying right now. He was drunk, possibly drugged and raped, so it was a little safe to say that he wasn't exactly coherent.

"Kurt, go to sleep." He mumbled, pulling into the driveway. Kurt's soft breathing was the only response he got.

Blaine reached over and opened the glove compartment, pulling Kurt's phone out. Kurt had been adamant about leaving his phone in the car. He didn't want it to disappear suddenly in a club they would probably never find it again. He had teased Kurt about it, but now took it back as he was thankful that calling Finn would be easier now. He ran down Kurt's list of short contacts and copied Finn's number into his own phone before calling it.

After a few rings, Blaine heard Finn's sleepy voice. "Hmmlo?"

"Finn, its Blaine. I'm outside."

He heard sheets rustling in the phone. "Everything okay? Where's Kurt?"

"Kurt's…" He glanced back to Kurt, passed out in the back. "Kurt's a little drunk right now. Could you come downstairs and help me out a bit? I don't think I can get the door open with Kurt in my arms." He chuckled softly.

"Yeah, sure dude." Finn let out a yawn. "Be right there."

"Thanks."

Blaine sighed softly, hanging his phone up before getting out of the car, shoving the car keys into his pocket. He walked over and opened the back door of the car, grabbing Kurt by his ankles and pulling him out gently. "Alright, here we go." He mumbled to himself. Kurt slid easily off of the leather seat, groaning softly. "Noo!" He whined. Blaine couldn't help but chuckle. "Yes, come on. We're home."

This seemed to help, as Kurt hummed and slid himself the rest of the way out. He stood in front of Blaine, hands on his hips and a pout on his lips. "See? Fine." He started to walk past Blaine when he stumbled and fell on his face. Blaine scrambled over and helped him up, sighing. "Come on." He mumbled, slinging Kurt's arm over his neck. Kurt leaned against him, groaning. "Blaine my face hurts." "I know, you probably broke it." This earned a wail from Kurt, and Blaine rolled his eyes, grinning. "Shh, your dad's going to find us out here." He mumbled. "And he's going to kick your ass for being drunk."

"Not drunk." Kurt mumbled, and Blaine shook his head. "Hopeless." He was relieved when he helped Kurt up to the door and Finn opened it. He was rubbing his eyes and groaning. When he moved his eyes and saw Kurt, he grinned. "Dude you told me he was drunk, not completely loaded."

Both boys blinked when Kurt pointed a finger at Finn, glaring at him. "Finn Hudson."

Finn watched, eyes wide, and Blaine was a little afraid of what Kurt was going to say. If it was anything like what he had said to Blaine in the car before, he knew he wasn't going to be good. He wanted to warn Finn that Kurt was a talking drunk, sort of in the middle between a clingy, angry and happy drunk. It was Kurt and he was drunk, what more was there to really say?

"…yeah Kurt?" Finn asked hesitantly after a moment of silence.

Kurt's glare didn't falter, and neither did his finger, pointing strong.

Finally, Kurt got it out.

"You're….tall."

Blaine and Finn let out a soft laugh, and Finn reached over and ruffled Kurt's hair, making the boy giggle. Finn grinned. "I've always wanted to do that without him getting mad at me. Come on, let's put him to bed." He moved over and easily lifted Kurt into his arms, and Kurt snuggled close to him, closing his eyes. Finn chuckled before looking to Blaine. "Staying the night?"

Blaine nodded. "Yeah, is it alright if I take the couch?"

"Nah, take my room. It's no problem. Come on." He led Blaine up the stairs, going to Kurt's room and motioning to the room across from it. "That's my room, make yourself at home."

Blaine grinned at him softly. "Thanks. Goodnight." He mumbled. He would have offered to watch Kurt or something, but he just really needed to go to bed. Right now he felt like an emotional wreck, not to mention it was now 3:30 AM and he had been up since the wee hours of the morning. He opened Finn's door and ignored the clothes thrown everywhere, going straight for the mattress and throwing himself on it. Tomorrow he would fix everything. Kurt would be sober, he would have made a decision, and everything would work out.

He didn't even have time to assure himself that everything would work out before he fell asleep, his shoes still on.


	17. Chapter 17

Hey guys! I'm glad everyone is still enjoying the story. I love reading your reviews! You guys are so funny! If you ever have any suggestions or improvements you think I can make please don't hesitate! I'm always looking for ways to improve my writing and the stories.

Thank you all for reading, favoriting and reviewing! Please enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

* * *

When he woke up with a pounding headache and the sun shining through his window across from him, Kurt was certain of one thing: he had no idea what happened. The last thing he remembered was leaving Breadstix, but he had no idea who he had been with or how he even got home. But he knew that this was his bed, and he was a little relieved that he was home. That relief didn't help his head any, though.

He got up to get some aspirin when a shooting pain ran through his thighs and backside and he let out a soft whimper. Why couldn't he move? His legs felt like jelly and, embarrassingly enough, his bum felt weird. It…it actually hurt.

What the hell did he do last night?

He forced himself off of his bed and quickly walked to the hallway bathroom, the pain shooting through him with every step he took. When he finally made it, he locked the door, shutting the toilet lid and sitting delicately on the edge, though it still proved painful. He pulled his boxers down gently as gently as he possibly could, hissing in pain as some of the material had stuck to him. He had to take them off though. He needed to see….what was that?

Looking down to his relatively new Calvin Klein briefs, he was horrified to find blood. It was a small pool about the size of a Gatorade bottle cap, mostly dry. He was stunned. His jaw dropped as he stared at it. He squinted at it hard, as if his sight was bad, and Kurt was hoping that's all it was.

Kurt knew for a fact that, despite the way he dressed, his sexual orientation, and the pitch of his voice, he wasn't a girl. That wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to bleed down there. That wasn't part of the package. His heart started to race, and he looked around as if the answer were lying around in the bathroom. What was he going to do? Was he dying? Was he bleeding internally? How was he going to tell his dad calmly that he needed to go to the hospital?

He forced his breathing to slow a bit, and he swallowed the saliva that had started to flood his mouth. _Okay, calm down Kurt_, he thought, _let's think rationally about this_. He needed to remember what happened last night and see if that had anything to do with this…blood situation.

Alright, Breadstix. Why had he gone to Breadstix after school at Dalton?

Dalton…

Breadstix…

…

Breadstix…

Dalton…

Maybe Blaine had wanted to go there again. They after all had enjoyed themselves with Mercedes once, so maybe Blaine wanted to go again. Had Mercedes gone with them again? Or had it just been he and Blaine?

No, it couldn't have been. Kurt distinctly remembered being annoyed by someone's presence, and that someone had definitely been a girl. While overpowering at times, he could never be annoyed at Mercedes. She was his best friend. His best guess would have to be one Rachel Berry.

Alright, Rachel, Blaine, he and Breadsti- oh.

Rachel and Blaine.

Oh. Right.

And Brittany had been there too. He remembered her in the car, but it had been dark by then. How long had they stayed at Breadstix? Slowly, the pieces of last night came together in his mind. Santana had been there too, because he remembered her fighting with Rachel. Then Santana proposed they go to a club later, and Blaine and Rachel tagged along. Kurt remembered that especially because he was dreading watching the two dirty dance while he sat alone.

At a bar. He had been sitting alone at a bar and for some reason the bartender kept giving him diet coke and rum even though Kurt only ordered a diet coke. He groaned softly. That explained the headache. Kurt was hung over. Okay, he could deal with that. He wasn't entirely happy that he had been smashed, but that wasn't his biggest problem right now. His biggest problem at the moment was this pool of blood in his boxers.

There was one of two ways that Kurt could be bleeding from that…particular spot. Since he had already ruled out possibly being a girl, he had to come to terms with the fact that he may or may not have lost his virginity at a club while drunk beyond human comprehension. The blood was pointing him more towards 'may have', which was starting to look like 'probably'.

Oh God.

He quickly got out of his clothes―oddly enough he was still wearing parts of his uniform― and turned the shower on. Once the water was hot enough, he walked in and drew the curtain, standing still and letting the water pelt him. What the hell had he been thinking? Just because he was sad about Blaine being with Rachel that didn't mean he could drink his sorrows away. This is exactly why he should never hang around Santana.

As the water hit him, he reached back and delicately pushed a finger between his cheeks, nudging them apart and touching his entrance. It felt raw, and it stung when Kurt even grazed his finger against it. There was no question about it. He'd done it. He lost his virginity and he had no idea who it had been with or if it had even been consensual. By the blood and the pain he was feeling right now, it didn't seem very consensual. But he didn't want to think about the possibility of rape. He didn't think he could handle it right this second.

He pulled his hand away and sighed softly, rubbing his hand against some soap and letting the hot water clean his hand. What was he going to do? He couldn't exactly go back to the club and demand witnesses. Who knows how many people were in there last night? And there was no way to keep track of the faces. He groaned again, lifting his head up so the water was hitting him directly in the forehead.

_Think Kurt, think_.

He closed his eyes and tried racking his brain for something. Any clues. Anything.

He remembered the bar. He remembered laughing with someone, and he remembered someone whispering, "I'm sorry." His breathing hitched as he remembered how happy he felt. He had danced with someone, and he blushed when he felt how aroused he was when whoever he danced with kissed him.

And he kissed back.

Okay, it had been consensual then. Drunk or not, Kurt had kissed back. He remembered wanting to kiss back, half hoping Blaine would see and sudden

He let out a relieved sigh, and started to pull away from the memories when he heard his own voice, giggling, saying "Why don't you teach me, Davie?"

…Davie?

As in David?

As in David Karofsky?

…No. No no no, there was no way. There was no way in hell. No way in hell that Kurt had lost his virginity to David fucking Karofsky. There was absolutely no way. It had to be another David. But he only knew two Davids, and he knew for a fact that it wasn't Warbler David. No way. If David had come then Wes would have come as well, and he could only imagine their protests as they went into a club. David was ruled out. So it had to have been Karofsky…right? Unless Lima was hiding some sort of community where everyone was a closet case named Dave.

He sighed softly, opening his eyes and staring at the tiled wall in front of him, dripping with water. So he had given it up to Karofsky. Of all people. He sighed softly, resting his head against the cool tiles. He supposed it could have been worse…somehow. He closed his eyes and tried to remember what it had been like. He remembered feeling pain, and he sighed. Of course neither of them had been prepared for what happened. He didn't exactly go around carrying a bottle of lube and a condom, waiting for his first encounter. Especially not in Lima where everyone just seemed to want to beat the gay out of him. He was sure Karofsky was as prepared as he was. Neither of them had done this before, and Kurt was counting on the brainless oaf to think that it would be the same as just sticking it in a girl.

But, unfortunately Kurt didn't think he could go on insulting Dave and calling him names. After all they had done something pretty…pretty special. Of course he couldn't remember it, but maybe they could talk about it. He wondered if they had exchanged numbers, and then he snorted. If he had been coherent enough to give Dave his number but not remember a single thing else, he would be very surprised.

He scrubbed himself off, trying to find his dignity under all of the grime of last night, then let the water wash away all of the suds before getting out of the shower. He grabbed a towel from the rack and wrapped it around his waist, glancing at his balled up clothes. He would have to trash the boxers now. He sighed softly, grabbing his clothes. When he picked them up, he felt a small weight and dug in his jean pocket. He sighed in relief, finding his phone. Good thing he checked before throwing it away. He walked into his room and throwing them in a corner. He would deal with it later.

He walked over to his dresser to get some fresh clothes when he let out a scream.

Finn rolled on his side on the floor, groaning. "Shut up dude." He mumbled.

"FINN WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE? GET OUT!"

The tall teen sat up on the floor, rubbing his eyes and looking up at Kurt. "Sorry dude. Your bed is really hard."

Kurt was blushing like mad. "That's the floor, you idiot!"

Finn looked around, blinking. "Why am I on the floor?"

"Here's a better question: why are you in my room?"

Finn got up off of the floor and sat on the edge of Kurt's bed, sighing. "Blaine called me from Rachel's phone last night. You were drunk out of your mind."

Kurt sighed, opening a drawer and grabbing a pair of boxers, sliding them on from under his towel. "I figured as much."

Fin watched him, amused. "I'm really surprised you can stand right now, dude. You fell flat on your face."

Kurt pulled out a gray shirt and slid it on, then pulled out a pair of skinny jeans and slid them on, moving the towel and rubbing it against his damp hair. "I'm surprised I'm even alive after that utter humiliation."

"It was hilarious."

Kurt threw the towel at Finn's face, opening his sock drawer and pulling out the emergency tube of aspirin he had, dry swallowing two pills. "Did my dad see me?" He could only imagine Burt's horror at seeing Kurt so…ugh.

Thankfully Finn shook his head, pulling the towel off of his head. "Nope. He and mom were dead asleep. You're so lucky you weren't caught though dude."

"I know." Kurt mumbled, running a hand through his still slightly damp hair. "...thank you Finn."

Finn blinked. "For what?"

"Well Blaine called you right? That means you helped."

"…well, yeah, he's way too short to carry you."

Kurt chuckled, going over and hugging his brother. Finn hugged back, grinning. "I'm just glad you're okay Kurt."

"Me too."

Kurt moved and sat next to Finn on the bed, sighing. Finn watched him with soft eyes. Kurt looked so sad…"You okay dude? Its fine, we all get drunk out of our minds once in a while."

Kurt smiled bitterly. "I just…it's not so much that I was drunk, it was what I did while I was drunk."

"Everyone face plants at least once."

"No, not that Finn. Though I would appreciate if you forgot about that."

"'Kay. So what did you do?"

Should he really even say anything? This was Finn after all. Instead of protecting Kurt's honor, Finn was busy running around putting chastity belts on any guy Kurt showed any remote interest in. But he had to tell someone. He had to validate it, make it real, because it did happen.

"I…had sex."

"…"

The sudden silence that filled the room was suffocating, and Kurt tugged at the already loose collar of his shirt. He watched Finn out of the corner of his eye, and the taller teen didn't look like he was breathing at all. Kurt couldn't look at him. Instead he stared at the panels of the wooden floor, biting the inside of his cheek.

Finn still looked a bit shell shocked, but he nodded. "Uh, wh…what…wh…bu…hold on, I'm still trying to register this."

"Take your time."

Kurt sat there patiently as Finn looked from the floor to Kurt, his eyes widening as the realization hit him that his sudden step-brother was now suddenly no longer a virgin. A million questions ran through his mind but he could barely even comprehend what Kurt had just thrown at him. Finn rubbed his palms against his knees, mouth gaping wide open. Finally, he produced sound.

"Y-….w…uh….g-good job?"

Kurt couldn't help but smile at his dorky brother. "Thanks."

Quiet took over the room again, but this time it wasn't as bad. Kurt was happy that Finn didn't scold him or anything about being careful. Then again Kurt wasn't about to tell him about the blood part. He was still freaked out about that himself. "So," Finn started slowly, looking at Kurt. "Was it with Blaine?"

Kurt shook his head slowly, and Finn let out a soft sigh. "Okay. Because I don't think Rachel would be too happy about that…since they're dating and all."

"Dating?" Kurt scoffed. "That's news to me."

Finn shrugged. "You know Rachel."

"Unfortunately." It was Kurt's turn to shrug. "But I'm over that, I think. This new guy…he seems okay." He hoped. Unless all of his memories were a side effect of date rape drugs, but even if Dave had drugged him Kurt was sure he wouldn't waste money on nice ones that made your memory lie to you or anything like that. There was a special one for that right? Like potions or something?

"Who is this new guy anyway?" Finn watched him with soft eyes. Kurt didn't seem the type to just give it up to anyone. Hell, he'd been going to Dalton for a couple of months and he and Blaine hadn't even gone out yet. Finn was a little worried, and just hoped that Kurt knew what he was doing. He didn't want to see his little brother hurt.

Kurt glanced down to his cell phone, still clutched in his hand. He pressed a button and the screen lit up, needing to check something. As expected, he had a couple of text messages, probably some he had gotten while he was sleeping. He didn't want to tell Finn that he might have lost his virginity to David Karofsky. There was no telling what Finn would do. He might kill Dave, he might even kill Kurt. After everything that Dave had done, Kurt had sex with him.

"Kurt?" Finn asked gently.

"Hold on." Kurt mumbled, opening the messages. One was from Mercedes asking if he was okay, and that Brittany told her that he had been sick last night. The other was from a number not in his contacts. One he usually wouldn't recognize and would delete right away. However it was the message attached to the number that made Kurt stop and stared.

'It's Dave, thnx fr las nite'

…'Thanks for last night'? Oh dear. This boy had not a clue. But if he was texting, that meant he was interested, right? He didn't just hit and run. That had to mean something. Kurt quickly punched a message in back, sending it. He started to tremble a little, anticipating the message that would follow his. He was hoping that Dave hadn't been drunk as well. He didn't exactly want to embarrass himself. But who knew? Maybe this could be a good thing.

There was a soft knock on the door before it opened, and Blaine poked his head in. "Fi- oh, Kurt, you're awake!"

Kurt smiled and started to apologize for being drunk last night before he realized he was on his back, Blaine's arms wrapped tightly around him. Had…had Blaine just glomped him? "Thank God you're alright! I was so worried about you!"

Kurt chuckled softly, awkwardly hugging Blaine back. "I'm fine, really. No alcohol poisoning to speak of yet."

Blaine pulled away and looked at Kurt with pained hazel eyes, and Kurt blinked. What happened? Blaine brushed away a stray lock of hair on Kurt's forehead, and Kurt was worried now. "What's wrong Blaine?" He whispered. Finn had gotten off the bed to avoid being hit by the tackle/hug, but now he was watching Blaine as well. "Blaine, you okay?"

"You don't remember?" Blaine asked softly and Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Remember what?"

"Karofsky."

Oh no.

"Karofsky?" Finn screeched. "What about that asshole? Was he at Breadstix or something last night? Did he mess with you Kurt? I swear if he did I'm calling Puck right now and we're all going to-"

"Finn, please!" Kurt yelled over his brother, sighing when Finn was quiet. Both boys were now watching Kurt, Blaine rather intensely, and Kurt figured that Blaine must have seen them dancing together or something. His seemingly mischievous plan from last night to get Blaine jealous had worked but now he was simply too hung over to care what Blaine thought of anything.

"I…" His breath caught in his throat. He couldn't not tell them. Kurt wasn't particularly proud of this, but it had happened. He drank irresponsibly and now he was going to live with the consequences, whatever they may be. He was distracted from his thoughts by his phone letting off a soft 'ping!' and he looked down. Dave had messaged him back, and Kurt quickly opened it.

'No it wsnt a mistke. I stll lve u. I rlly mean it'

He put a shaking hand over his mouth and gasped softly. David Karofsky loved him. Not in such poetic words or perfect spelling, sure but…he loved Kurt, and for some reason or another he was saying it.

"Kurt, what's going on?" Finn asked, worry now clearly evident in his voice. "You're starting to freak me out, are you alright?"

"Tell him what happened with Karofsky." Blaine urged as gently as he could. Finn looked at Blaine, then back to Kurt with wide eyes. "Kurt, what happened with Dave?" He walked over and put a hand on Kurt's shoulder, fighting the urge to shake the answer from the smaller boy. Kurt looked up, his blue eyes glossy. He moved his hand away from his face, and Finn could see now that he was smiling. Kurt was smiling. "…Kurt?"

"I had sex with David Karofsky."


	18. Chapter 18

Hey everyone! Thank you all for staying with me. I really appreciate all of you :) It's nice to know that people enjoy my stories. Thanks again for reading, favoriting and reviewing! I hope you enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

* * *

He sat at the dining table in the Hudmel household that morning, his head resting on his hand, elbow on the table and eyes glaring at the middle of the wooden table. He faintly heard Carole humming softly behind him, bacon sizzling on the pan in front of her. Finn was sitting next to him, scarfing down what Blaine counted as his third serving of everything while Kurt sat across from him, reading over the copy of Vogue for the month. His plain clothing was starting to worry Burt and Carole, but Finn didn't seem to mind much. Kurt was still reading Vogue so that was a good sign.

Blaine couldn't believe this.

Kurt said he had sex with David Karofsky. Even after Blaine tried to tell Kurt that no, Dave had to have slipped something in his drink or something, Kurt merely shook his head, a soft smile on his lips the entire time. Now he was pretending everything was okay? After everything that happened? Had Kurt forgotten the reason he had transferred to Dalton in the first place?

Blaine sighed softly, picking at his waffles that were now mushy from sitting in the syrup for a while. This couldn't be happening. Just last night he had felt like everything was going to be okay. He had figured out his feelings and finally felt he found himself. Now this. And he couldn't even say anything in front of Carole or Burt, who had just appeared from the living room. He was sure if he did, Kurt would throw him out the window.

Why Karofsky? Blaine wasn't normally overprotective of Kurt like this. They lived in an all-boys boarding school and Blaine didn't even notice if Kurt walked with someone else in the halls or talked with someone else in class. He didn't feel the waves of jealousy slamming against him like he did every time Kurt's cell phone let out that soft 'ping!' to notify him of a new message from that gorilla Karofsky. Suddenly Blaine wondered if Kurt smiled like that when Blaine texted him. Did his eyes sparkle like that when they read over the words? Did the corners of his eyes slightly crinkle like that? Did his hands slightly grip the phone more like that as he frantically texted back?

Blaine let out another sigh. He was going to drive himself mad. All he really had to do was wait for this whole Karofsky thing to blow over. It had to eventually. Kurt had to see what monster he had given himself to and realize what a huge mistake it was before running away from that entire mess. Then Blaine would be there with open arms, comforting Kurt and telling him it was okay, and then they would fall in love. It was perfect.

But now came the waiting part.

He sighed again, just as Carole put a plate of bacon in the middle of the table. Burt had sat down with his newspaper in front of him, mouthing the words slowly as he read. Unsurprisingly, Finn reached over and grabbed a handful of bacon, eating it all in one bite. Blaine sighed again, slowly eating the rest of his mush and pushing his plate away. He managed a smile and looked over to Carole. "Thank you for breakfast Mrs. Hummel."

Carole giggled softly. "Blaine, call me Carole, please."

Burt looked over from his newspaper, giving Blaine a look. Kurt tapped his father's hand gently, sighing softly. This seemed to calm the man a little, though he looked warily at Blaine for a second longer before his face was obstructed by the newspaper once more. Blaine bit his lip, watching the newspaper. If that was the look he gave Blaine when he and Kurt were just friends, he would hate to see the look if they ever dated.

When.

When they dated.

He had to stop thinking that Kurt and Karofsky were going to last. Were they even dating? He was sure that Burt would be thrilled about that. No doubt New Directions would be pissed about this new development as well. This was after all still the boy that drove Kurt to Dalton in the first place. But it wasn't like Blaine was going to out Kurt here and now in front of his family. No doubt Burt would be the first one out the door, rumored shotgun in hands. That would surely be a bloody end to their friendship, and Blaine didn't want that. Kurt was too dear of a friend to him, though Blaine knew he hadn't exactly been the best of friends lately.

He reached over for a piece of bacon from the plate, eating it slowly while his thoughts swirled in his head. Why did this have to be so complicated? Who knew alcohol could complicate so many things in such little time? He had to win Kurt back, that was for sure. There was just the matter of how. How could be make his past transgressions magically disappear in order for Kurt to accept his feelings? His _true _feelings? He was distracted again by another message announcing its arrival into Kurt's phone. The boy hurriedly set down his magazine and picked up his phone, his eyes wide and his smile warm.

"No texting at the table, son." Burt mumbled from behind the newspaper, and Blaine was thankful for that. The less Kurt and Karofsky communicated the better for him. That wouldn't be a problem, seeing as tomorrow he and Kurt would be back in Westerville and Karofsky would be stuck here in Lima to his own devices. Sure they would text but Dalton was a strict school. There was no texting allowed in class, and with Warblers practice Kurt only had a few free hours in the evening to talk to the football player. Blaine had all day. It was perfect.

Despite his father, Kurt tapped a message into his phone and grinned at the screen before putting it in his pocket. The grin didn't go unnoticed by Finn, surprisingly. "What's up dude?" He asked, shoving another few pieces of bacon in his mouth. "You and Mercedes going somewhere?"

Kurt scowled at his brother. "Close your mouth when you're eating. You're spraying me with bacon bits." He mumbled, to which Finn stuck his tongue out, giving Kurt a sight of all the chewed up pieces of bacon in his mouth. "Charming." Kurt said dryly. He reached over to the plate, accidently brushing his hand against Blaine's, whose arm had shot out when Kurt reached over. Kurt looked to the other and raised an eyebrow, and Blaine smiled sheepishly at him. "Sorry."

Kurt nodded, taking a piece of bacon and lifting up Vogue with one hand, reading as he chewed thoughtfully. Well that was weird. Blaine was up for almost an hour with he and Finn and hadn't said a word about Rachel. Since the party, Blaine had barely shut up about her. And Kurt did remember them dancing together last night at the club, so what had changed? Other than the fact that Blaine had spent the better part of that hour trying to convince Kurt that Karofsky had raped him. Despite Kurt telling Blaine that he remembered that wasn't how it happened, Blaine was adamant, and Kurt couldn't help but wonder why.

Yesterday after they shared that heated kiss in the Navigator, Blaine had made everything crystal clear…sort of. He liked Rachel. He didn't want Kurt to tell her they kissed. That seemed fairly clear to Kurt. So why was it that when Kurt pulled out his phone and looked at it, he saw Blaine's shoulders slump out of the corner of his eye?

"Kurt." Burt warned, and Kurt slipped his phone away, pouting. Finn looked over again, downing his third glass of orange juice and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Dude who are you texting?"

Kurt gave him a glare and Finn seemed to know what that meant. He bit his lip, and Blaine wasn't sure to be thankful or to pity Finn when the quarterback said, "Just be careful okay?"

This got Burt's attention. He quickly put down the newspaper and looked at Finn. "Be careful of what?"

Finn blanched and Kurt looked as if he was trying to kill Finn with his mind. "I, uh, uhm, I, I-" Finn stammered, looking between Kurt and Burt. Kurt rubbed his temple with the tips of his fingers, trying to calm himself down before he tackled his stepbrother. "Nothing dad."

"Finn said 'be careful'. What's going on?" Burt asked, looking directly at Kurt now. Carole turned around and looked at the table of boys. "Finn, what's going on?"

Finn looked over at his mother, and for a moment Blaine thought that he was going to blurt everything out then and there. Instead the tall teen looked over to Kurt for help. Kurt only glared at him. "Nothing's going on." He said. "Right Finn?"

Finn's eyes only got wider, and now Blaine knew that the emotion was pity that he felt for Finn. He looked so confused, more so than Blaine had ever seen. Burt stared at his stepson long and hard before turning to Blaine. "Could you give us a sec here Blaine?"

Blaine nodded and started to get up when Finn finally said something. "Blaine already knows!" He instantly covered his mouth and looked over to Kurt, aghast. Blaine had never seen such an angry shade of red cover Kurt's face like that, and he wondered for a moment if he had gotten it from his father, who was also now turning red.

"Knows _what_?" Burt said as calmly as he could, and Finn looked at his mother for help. Carole only folded her arms, watching her son with soft eyes. "Finn, Kurt,

I think you'd both better start explaining. You too Blaine." She said, looking at him now as well.

Blaine bit his lip. "It's not really my place-"

"It's no one's place!" Kurt yelled. "It's _my_ love life-" Now it was Kurt's turn to clasp his hands over his mouth, eyes wide as Burt bellowed, "LOVE LIFE?"

Carole bit her lip, hurrying over to Burt's side and touching his shoulder gently. "Sweetie, your blood pressure-" "WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'LOVE LIFE', KURT?"

Kurt stared at his father with wide eyes. He couldn't tell Burt. There was no way. Not with his heart the way it was. He didn't want to be responsible for sending his father to the hospital again. Maybe under different circumstances, when David wasn't the reason Burt and Carole's honeymoon had to be cancelled so Kurt could transfer to Dalton to be free of the bullying, Kurt would be able to tell his father proudly that he was in love. But what was he going to say now? Thanks to dumb Finn and his big mouth Kurt was left with no choices!

That was until Blaine stood up. "He means me."

The Hudmel family all slowly turned to him, Finn looking about ready to faint. Burt's breathing was ragged as he stared at the boy. "What do you mean?" He asked, his voice no longer echoing throughout the house. Though he still asked between clenched teeth. Blaine bit the inside of his cheek, glancing over to Kurt whose eyes would roll out of his skull any second, before looking back to Burt a bit more confident now. "He means that we're going out. I'm Kurt's boyfriend."

The tension and silence was so heavy in the kitchen now that Finn thought for sure that he was going to pass out at any given moment. Burt and Kurt's faces slowly drained of the red color, and while Kurt blushed instead, Burt's frown was deep. He stared hard at Blaine for the longest time, before finally turning to his son. "When did this happen?"

Kurt let his hands fall from his mouth. His blue eyes still hadn't left Blaine, and Blaine could see the confusion and thankfulness in those ocean sky eyes. Kurt looked to Burt, his mouth open a bit but no words coming out. He looked to Blaine again, then back to his father. Finally, he spoke. "Y-Yeah, that's it. Blaine and I are…dating." He whispered the last word, looking back to Blaine who only smiled encouragingly.

Burt stared at his son, then looked to Blaine as well. "Why did Finn tell Kurt to be careful then?"

Blaine smiled softly. "Well being the protective brother that he is, Finn was just saying that because he knows that Kurt and I have only known each other for a couple of months. However I assure you that I only have Kurt's best interests at heart and we will take this relationship slow. We've gotten to know each other very well in these seemingly short months, we care deeply about each other, and last night we talked and it only made sense that we would take the next step."

Burt's face flared up again. "And by that you mean just dating?"

Kurt blushed furiously at this. "Yes dad." He answered for Blaine, glaring at the man. Burt put his hands up in surrender. "I'm just trying to make sense of all of this Kurt. I knew you and Blaine were friends but…I was a little blindsided."

Kurt looked to Blaine, giving him a look that said, 'I'm just as confused' but said nothing aloud. Blaine smiled in response. The tension started to sneak back in a bit before Carole smiled. "Well congratulations to you boys! I know I speak for everyone when I say that we're very happy for you both."

Burt nodded, rubbing his eyes. It wasn't even noon yet and he already had a headache and his son had a boyfriend. "Very happy."

Carole giggled softly and kissed her husband's head before going to clean the stove off. Finn nervously ate the rest of the bacon before putting his dish in the sink, practically running upstairs and away from Kurt's fury. Kurt, however, finished as well and dropped his plate on top of Finn's before running after the taller teen, ready to give him the biggest talking to of his life. Blaine started to follow when Burt cleared his throat, not having picked up the newspaper quite yet.

"Can we talk for a second?" Burt asked in a tone that wasn't really a question at all.

Blaine nodded, sitting back down. Across from him, Burt seemed much bigger and scarier than he did five minutes ago. For the second time that day Blaine wanted desperate to trade places with David Karofsky.

Burt folded his arms and stared down the teenager, not really angry but not too happy either. "So, you and Kurt are dating now."

Blaine nodded, his heart suddenly beating very quickly in his chest. "Yes sir." He said in a small voice.

Burt took a moment to register this fact again before nodding. "Get good grades at Dalton?"

"Yes sir."

"Study a lot?"

"Yes sir."

"And I know you're a big shot in that glee club over there."

Blaine blushed a little. "Not really a big shot, sir. We all work very hard in the Warblers in order to be equal to everyone and be successful."

Burt stared at him and Blaine felt a trickle of sweat run down the back of his neck. Why did this man make him feel so nervous all of the sudden?

"Good policy to have." Burt mumbled, glancing away from Blaine. Blaine took his opportunity to get some air into his lungs. His fear of Mr. Hummel seemed to have driven away the ability to breathe. He almost jumped out of his skin when Carole patted his shoulder. When he turned slightly the woman smiled softly. "Burt just wants to make sure that you and Kurt will be careful and be respectful of each other. We both know that you two are very responsible."

Blaine nodded, feeling a little more at ease with Kurt's stepmother. "Yes ma'am, we're both teenagers but we are very respectful. We won't pressure each other into anything that isn't comfortable. I care very deeply for Kurt and I want him to be happy."

Burt seemed a bit pleased with this, and Carole smiled at her husband. "We know that Blaine." She moved over to Burt's side, sitting next to him and taking one of his hands into hers. "We know you helped Kurt a lot with the whole situation when he was here at McKinley, and to adjust into Dalton. We're very thankful."

"Very." Burt mumbled, squeezing his wife's hand gently. He sighed softly. "Be good to my kid, alright? I don't want him hurt anymore than he already has been."

Blaine's eyes softened and he nodded. "Me either, sir."

"Call me Burt."

Blaine smiled a little. "Yes sir."

Burt sighed. "Off with you then."

Blaine grinned softly, running off upstairs to Kurt's room.

Burt looked to his wife, who was smiling softly. "Why, Burt Hummel, I think you may be growing up." She said softly, kissing his cheek. Burt rolled his eyes, smiling. "Yeah, yeah."

Upstairs, Blaine could hear Kurt yelling at Finn from the hallway. He slowly walked into Kurt's room, where Finn was pouting on the bed, arms folded as Kurt paced in front of him. They both looked up when the door opened and Kurt's anger turned soft when Blaine walked in. "Oh, hi."

Blaine smiled softly, closing the door behind himself. "Hey."

Finn bit his thumb nail, looking a little worried. "Did Burt threaten to shoot you?"

Blaine chuckled, shaking his head. "No. He and Carole just told me to be respectful and take care of Kurt."

"You've been doing a marvelous job." Kurt mumbled, rolling his eyes. "What are we going to do about this whole situation?"

Finn looked at his brother. "Why didn't you just tell Burt the truth?"

Kurt glared at his brother. "And send him to the hospital with a ruptured heart? I don't think so Finn."

"…Can hearts really rupture?"

Kurt groaned. "That's not the point! The point is that Blaine and I aren't dating, me and Dave are-"

"But you can't very well tell Burt that." Blaine finished. "Even if Burt did have another heart attack, he would make sure that Karofsky died before he did."

"I know that." Kurt mumbled. "That's why I couldn't tell him. Plus…he and Carole sacrificed their honeymoon for me to go to Dalton. I couldn't…I could never face them if they knew the truth."

In one swift motion, Blaine held Kurt's hands gently, making the brunette look up at him in surprise. "I know that I screwed up, a lot." Blaine said softly, his hazel eyes locked with Kurt's blue eyes. "But let me do this for you. I want to make it up to you. If…" It almost pained him to say. "If being with Karofsky is what makes you happy then you should be happy. But let me protect you by doing this for you."

It would work out perfectly for both of them. Blaine could pretend to date Kurt, all the while trying to get Kurt to fall for him, and Kurt could have his illusion of a relationship with Karofsky and not know a thing about Blaine's plan. By the blush on Kurt's cheeks, Blaine was betting that it would work to his advantage.

Kurt nodded slowly, pulling his hands away from Blaine's and throwing his arms around the other. "Thank you." Kurt said softly.

Blaine smiled a little, feeling a pang of guilt for lying to his friend. But it was for the best. And Kurt would never know. When Karofsky screwed up, Blaine would be right there for Kurt, arms wide open. He wrapped his arms around Kurt and hugged him tightly. "No problem."

"…you guys know I'm still here right?"

"Shut up, Finn."


	19. Chapter 19

Hey everyone! Sorry it took so long to update x.x

I'm sure everyone has heard about the tsunami in Japan by now, so please send your positive thoughts to them.

For this chapter, we're going to have a little more insight into Kurt's frame of mind. It's been brought to my attention that my characters change drastically and quickly, so I hope this clears it up a little.

As always, thank you all for reading, favoriting and reviewing! Please enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

* * *

Sometimes he wondered what the hell he was doing. Most of the time, however, he didn't wonder. He just did things. That was the kind of person he was. Sometimes people got mad at him for it, but he honestly meant no harm. He just tried to be honest and open with everyone. Everyone deserved honesty right? Especially when they aren't being honest with themselves, leading to this talk with Kurt.  
Finn knew he didn't know a lot about what Kurt was going through, but he had his own relationship problems the year before. He knew a little. But at the moment it didn't matter how much he knew or didn't. All that mattered was Kurt right now. When Finn gave Rachel's home number to Blaine so she could come over to get her cell phone, he knew what he was doing. He needed to talk to Kurt alone.

The three boys stayed in Kurt's room for an awkward ten minutes before the doorbell rang and Blaine insisted he would talk to Rachel about their whole situation. When he bounded down the stairs alone,

Finn knew his plan had worked. Now it was just getting Kurt to listen.

He moved to sit next to Kurt on the bed. Kurt looked up from the message he had been typing to Dave, looking a bit confused. Looking at him now, it really bothered Finn to see Kurt in plain clothes, his hair still rumpled. That wasn't Kurt. "You okay there Finn?" Kurt asked softly, smiling up at the taller teen, and Finn was a bit relieved. His smile was still the same. "We need to talk, Kurt."

Kurt blinked, and he paled slightly. "Please don't tell me you're in love with me too. I don't think I can handle another boy right now."

Finn's eyes widened. "No! No dude!"

Kurt let out a relieved sigh and nodded. "Okay. What do we need to talk about?"

Finn watched him warily, but knew he could trust Kurt. The boy hadn't been all over him like he had last year. Their relationship was different now. They were brothers now. He sighed softly and shifted a little on the bed. "I'm just…I'm really worried and confused, like…more than usual."

Kurt chuckled softly, putting his cell phone down on his nightstand before looking back to Finn. "You and I both." He moved to sit against his headboard and sighed softly, watching Finn. "What can I clarify for you?"

Finn looked down to the floor, staring at it long and hard. "I know…this kinda started at Rachel's party right?"

"What started?"

"You. You really changed Kurt. I don't get it." He looked over to Kurt now, who looked a bit surprised that Finn had actually noticed something. Finn continued. "I mean, you're always really strong and you like who you are. So what changed?"

"Nothing's changed, Finn."

"Kurt, I'm dumb but I'm not that dumb."

Now Kurt just looked startled, like someone had found him in the best hiding spot ever in a game of hide and seek. Finn bit his lip, looking back to the floor. "I mean, that day after the party you were covered in paint. You're wearing normal clothes. You ate bacon, my mom told me. They're worried too! Burt and my mom are freaking out but they don't want to tell you! They think you're going through some…psychotic breakdown."

He looked back over to his stepbrother and saw his blue eyes had widened a little. He was no longer looking at Finn, but staring at the blankets underneath them. Finn wasn't sure if he was going to start yelling or start crying, so he wasn't sure whether to run or to pull Kurt close. He opted to sit there and not move a single muscle, waiting for some kind of answer.

Chills ran up his spine when he heard Kurt chuckle softly, and he looked over to see that Kurt was smiling slightly. He still didn't look at Finn, but he spoke softly now. "I honestly don't know Finn. I barely have enough time to sit down and think for myself these days." He looked up now, his eyes meeting Finn's. "If _you _of all people noticed something, then I guess my plan worked."

Finn tilted his head a bit. "You had a plan?"

Kurt nodded, and Finn smiled a little. "Sounds psychotic."

Kurt laughed softly, some stray tears sliding down his cheek. He quickly wiped them away, sighing softly. "I know. I think I did go a little psychotic back there. Especially with the bacon part."

"Yeah, I freaked out when I heard about that."

"Looking back on it now, I should probably triple my skin care regimen. Those bacon pieces had enough grease to murder my skin for the next ten years. I guess it's not helping that I stopped my skin regimen too."

Finn's eyes widened slightly. "See that's what I mean. What happened Kurt? Why did you change all of the sudden? That's not you."

Kurt sighed softly, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Okay, you're right. It started at Rachel's party. Remember when we played spin the bottle?"

Finn hummed, nodding. "Yeah. We stopped after Rachel kissed-…oh."

Kurt nodded. "That's what started it." He smiled bitterly. "It was kind of the kick to start the fall of a thousand dominos. Everything fell apart after that. I fell apart." He rubbed the side of his face, staring at the blankets in thought. "I didn't really know what to do with myself after that Finn. You know how that is. You knew about Puck and Quinn, and you knew about Puck and Rachel. You broke up with her because of a kiss. How am I supposed to break up with my best friend over a kiss?" He closed his eyes tightly to prevent any tears escaping, and he let out a shaky breath.

Finn watched him, biting his lip. He reached over and put a hand over one of Kurt's knees, making Kurt open his eyes and offer a weak smile to Finn. He put his hand over Finn's. "Thanks." He whispered.

"No problem. I have to ask though, does Blaine know how you feel about him?" Finn didn't want to be mean, but he had to ask. Kurt did have a tendency for swooning over boys who had not a clue. He should know, he had been the first.

Kurt smiled a little. "Yeah. I told him on Valentine's Day…after he serenaded another guy." His voice broke a little, and Finn bit his lip. "Another dude?" When Kurt nodded, Finn sighed softly. "I'm really sorry Kurt."

"That's why I'm taking this Rachel thing so hard, I guess. I thought that after I expressed my feelings that he would be a little more…aware. But…" Kurt shrugged, sighing softly.

Finn nodded slowly, understanding more now. "That's why you changed, then. Right?"

Kurt nodded. "I thought that if I changed, maybe I wouldn't hurt anymore. I wouldn't feel the earth shattering underneath me, and I wouldn't care what Blaine did or didn't do. I wouldn't care that he and Rachel exchanged text messages every second of every day and I wouldn't care when Blaine asked me what I think he should do or what he is."

"What do you mean?"

Kurt sighed softly. "He thought…thinks that he's bisexual."

"That…means he wants to date two people, right?"

"No, Finn." Kurt rubbed his eyes with the ends of his palms. "It means he likes men and women. He _might_."

"Oh." Finn scratched the back of his neck. "That really sucks dude, but I think that if Blaine doesn't, you know, doesn't….doesn't like you, then it's his loss. He doesn't deserve you." He smiled softly.

"Remember the song?"

Kurt recalled Finn singing to him at the wedding easily. It was one of his favorite memories because it meant so much to him. Then, and now.

"I remember, Finn." He said softly. "But it's not that simple."

"Kurt-" "Finn."

Finn's eyes snapped over to his brother at the sound of his name being said in such a small, broken voice. Kurt's eyes were glossy and full of tears. His cheeks were flushed. His breathing was slightly heavy, and his bottom lip quivered.

"It's never…never that simple Finn." Kurt whispered, letting the tears fall now. He couldn't stop the flood that was coming. "It's easy for you, Finn. You're straight. Your options are pretty much endless. You can act freely on your feelings without negative consequences. I can't. I have to hold it all in. I have to go around…pretending that I'm okay because, well, what else can I do? Cry every day? I only have so many tears. You know how everything stands. You know me. You know who I am. When my emotions come out, they come out full force."

Finn remembered all too well how Kurt flirted with him as many times as he could last year. He often told Finn that life was easier, better, without girls. Kurt wasn't shy, Finn knew that best. He also remembered how forward Kurt had been with Sam when he first joined glee club, and Finn had shut it down, none too gentle. He didn't want Sam to have to go through what he did with Kurt. It was awkward, but now Finn say that he may have been a little too harsh.

Finn and Puck each had their turns with Quinn, Rachel and Santana. While Finn struggled between Rachel and Quinn now, Puck moved on and dated Mercedes briefly and sleeping with Santana for who knows how long before he met Lauren. Artie had dated Tina and now Brittany. Mike was dating Tina now. Sam was dating Santana. They all shamelessly exchanged boyfriends and girlfriends while Kurt sat alone, watching them all while having to suppress any and all emotions in fear of rejection. Rejection that Finn had shoved in his face.

He couldn't imagine what Kurt was feeling right now.

"So…" Kurt whispered softly, sniffling. "You can imagine my absolute…" he stopped. There was so much he felt for Blaine at this moment. Hate, anger, disappointment, love, yearning. He wiped at his tears, which proved useless when more tears slid down his cheeks. "I'm lonely Finn. I thought Blaine was going to be the one. I can be myself around him. It's not the fact that he's my only option because he's not. He's my best friend…he's helped me so much, so is it horrible of me to hate the fact that he may be confused? Is my heartbreak at the kiss with Rachel wrong because he deserves to be happy? I guess so, but why can't I be happy too, Finn? I'm making myself go crazy for a guy who doesn't seem to care, even after I told him about how I felt. Why can't I just be normal? I know when I came out of the closet, my dad asked the same thing of himself. Why can't Kurt be normal? Why can't he be more like Finn? Because if I were normal I wouldn't have to deal with this. I wouldn't fall in love with people who didn't love me back. I wouldn't be hated for who I fall in love with. My father wouldn't get phone calls telling him that his son is just a faggot. I don't want this. I didn't choose this. I just want to be normal…that's all." He gripped his shirt over his chest, like his heart was breaking that very second and he was powerless to stop the pain. "I tried to change, Finn, I really did, but I couldn't. I just couldn't be someone I'm not. I want to embrace myself, Finn. I like myself. I like who I am, but how can I when no one else does? When people are sick at the thought of me liking another guy? When people are sickened by what I am? I tried being normal but it just didn't…It didn't work. I don't know what it is to be normal."

Finn watched with wide eyes as Kurt broke down in sobs that wracked his body. He hid his face in his hands, but Finn could see clearly those broken blue eyes as Kurt cried. He had been hurting for so long…how had Finn not seen? They lived together for God's sake! They were brothers, and yet Finn didn't know about any of this. He didn't know what Kurt felt because Kurt was so good at hiding it when he wanted to. He put up perfectly manicured walls of steel and didn't let anyone in. But Blaine was a different story.

Kurt had trusted Blaine. He was the only option for Kurt, and Finn didn't know what that felt like. To know that in a town full of people, his options of who to fall in love with were limited.

He hesitantly moved over and wrapped his arms around Kurt's smaller body, pulling him close. Kurt stayed curled up for a moment before he moved and wrapped his arms around Finn's neck, hugging him for dear life. Finn didn't care that last year he would have cringed at this. There was no way he would have gotten this close to Kurt without saying something stupid. But so much had changed. They had changed. They were brothers, and Finn hugged Kurt tighter.

"There's no such thing as normal." He mumbled. "We all love you the way you are Kurt. Fuck Blaine if he doesn't get it. You have us. You have me and Mercedes and New Directions, and Burt and my mom. We all love you no matter what. Fuck people if they don't get it. Fuck Lima." He moved his hands and cupped Kurt's face gently, making him look up. Kurt's eyes locked with his, and Finn saw desperation. Kurt truly didn't know what to do. For once, the masks were off and all Finn saw was a boy lost and confused. "Kurt, you're going to get out." He said firmly. "Do you get it? You're going to go so many places. New York, Los Angeles, everywhere. You're going to be huge, and one day you won't even remember any of this crap. You know why?"

Kurt shook his head, his body still trembling with sobs that he was holding his breath just to stop.

Finn wiped his tears away with his thumbs. "Because you're different. Because you aren't like the rest of us, because that's the best thing about you. Remember?"

Kurt nodded slowly, his tears slowing a bit. Finn smiled. "One day you're going to find a great guy who you love and who loves you back, and you'll forget all about this." He let his hands drop and wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist, hugging him close. "I love you…in a completely platonic, brotherly way."

Instead of a snap or pulling away, Kurt laughed weakly. "Thank you for ruining the moment, you doofus."

Finn grinned wide. "Anytime."

The two boys stayed like that, holding each other for a while. It wasn't awkward, not even for Finn. He was actually comforted by this movement. Kurt really wasn't one for showing affection much. True, he had no trouble expressing his feelings, but he wasn't a very touchy kind of guy. Especially lately when he had been stressed out by everything. Finn was glad he could at least do this.

Kurt was the first who pulled away, moving his hands up to wipe his damp eyes. Finn let him go, smiling softly. He had a feeling that Kurt would be okay, no matter what. He was strong.

"So what are we going to do about this whole Karofsky thing?"

Kurt looked over and sighed softly. "I'm going out with him."

Finn looked a little skeptical. "I don't know Kurt, how do you know he's not doing this just to mess with you?"

Kurt shrugged. "I just…I don't know Finn. I just feel like I trust him. What we shared that night was special. I was drunk out of my mind but I remember that much. He told me he was sorry, Finn. I know it's not enough but…it's something, right?"

Finn sighed softly. He had mixed feelings about the whole thing. Karofsky had spent so many years just torturing Kurt. Why had that changed suddenly? He sighed again, nodding. "Alright. Just be really, really careful, okay? And if he does anything to make you upset, you tell me and I'll-"

"Finn." Kurt chuckled softly, and Finn couldn't help but smile. "What?"

Kurt shook his head, smiling. "Thank you."

"Anytime, little brother."

"I'm not little, you're just freakishly tall."

"I know."


	20. Chapter 20

Hi all! I hope you all saw the magic that was Original Songs last night on Glee! So excited!

Here's another update! Thank you everyone for reading, favoriting and reviewing! Please enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

* * *

He hadn't really wanted to leave Kurt's side, but he knew he needed to talk to Rachel. Especially since Finn was giving him a look that said he needed to talk to Kurt alone. He felt a little awkward going downstairs and letting Rachel in as if it was his home. Luckily Carole had dragged Burt somewhere right after breakfast, sensing the huge amount of tension in the house.

Blaine sighed heavily, looking at the front door before reaching over and opening it up. There was no time for him to brace himself for Rachel, who had launched herself onto him as soon as the door was open. "Blainey!"

He winced, wrapping his arms around her to balance himself and not fall. "Rachel, hi." He mumbled, pulling away as soon as he gained his footing. He didn't want to start sending mixed signals now. Then again, that's all he had been doing since the party.

Rachel's smile beamed at him. Looking at her now with her fuzzy red sweater and short gray skirt, Blaine could see what Kurt was talking about when he complained about her clothing. He wondered if she took cues from her grandmother.

She reached over and took his hand, and he didn't have the heart to pull away. That was, until he remembered that he wasn't going to send anymore mixed signals, and he pulled away. "Let's go talk outside, okay?"

Rachel nodded, not seeming to realize that Blaine's hand was no longer in hers. She followed him out to the backyard, and sat next to him on the patio chairs. He shifted so he was facing her, biting his lip a little. She looked so happy, so unaware about what he was about to tell her. But he needed to say this. He needed to. His future with Kurt depended on it.

"Rachel-" "Do you have my phone?"

Blaine blinked, nodding. "Oh, yeah." He pulled it out of his back pocket and handed it to her, and she blushed a little. "Thank you."

…how had he not seen how odd she was?

"Why did you leave your phone in Kurt's glove compartment anyway?" He asked, a little confused.

Rachel smiled. "Well Kurt was really insistent about leaving our stuff in the car because people in clubs are shady, so I guess I forgot to grab it when you dropped me off last night."

If that was true, then why did Kurt have his phone with him? Guilt trickled into his mind as Blaine realized that Kurt knew he was going to be left alone, and probably took his phone to entertain himself while he and Rachel danced.

"Is Kurt okay now?"

Blaine looked over and nodded. She had seen Kurt drunk. They all had. Blaine could only imagine what rumors would go around the halls of McKinley when school started on Monday. He sighed softly. Then again, they might not be as bad if Dave Karofsky was as serious as he seemed to be about dating Kurt. "Yeah, he's fine. He's not even acting hung over." He chuckled softly.

"Well that's good. Did he remember anything about…you know. Karofsky?"

Blaine bit his lip again. Should he tell her? He knew there would be rumors but he didn't want to fuel them. But he really wanted to ask her opinion about this. About Dave. They knew about him more than he did. He only knew what Kurt told him. Maybe he should just talk to Mercedes, but he was a bit wary about talking to the girl now. If he did, he would have to tell her that he hadn't taken her advice and ended up hurting Kurt again. He didn't think he would survive that.

"He did." Blaine said softly. "He remembered a lot more than I saw. What I thought I saw."

Rachel's eyes softened. "So…was it roofies, like we thought?"

Blaine shook his head. "No. Kurt said it was consensual." It made his heart ache whenever he remembered Kurt's face as he declared that he and Dave Karofsky had sex. Consensual. Drunk, but Kurt hadn't stopped it. He hadn't said no. He knew what he had been doing, drunk haze or not. And this morning he said it, loud and proud, in front of Finn nonetheless.

"But…there's no way!" Rachel watched Blaine, who looked over to her again. "Karofsky wouldn't do that. Not the Karofsky…" Her voice trailed off, and Blaine's interest caught.

"What?"

"Well…I don't know. Remember the championship game?"

Blaine remembered well. How could he ever forget the amazing choreography that New Directions had displayed on the football field? Not to mention the amazing costumes. "Of course."

"Remember we told you that the football team had quit?"

"Yeah, and you girls had to replace them."

"Yeah…Karofsky and the others eventually came back. Puck talked to them, and they all joined back right in the middle. Except Karofsky. He stood by the lines for most of the song, but then he just suddenly ran and joined us." She smiled at the memory. "It was really nice. We all thought he changed, but Finn told me what Karofsky said. That he'd never want to join glee club. We're all still losers." She sighed. "But still, in that moment Karofsky changed. He didn't have to run onto the field but he did. And I know that he really enjoyed himself. So maybe…maybe the Karofsky we thought we knew, changed."

She rubbed her palms against her knees. "But still, I don't really believe he could just change overnight like that. He was just so full of hate, especially for Kurt. I don't know, Blaine. I really don't think Kurt can trust him."

Blaine nodded slowly, listening to her. "I know. I feel the same way. Kurt was scared enough to transfer to Dalton. But now…" He sighed. "He thinks that Karofsky is his only option." He ran his hands through his ungelled hair. "Because I kept jerking him around. Because I just…I was an idiot. Which is why I wanted to talk to you. "

Rachel blushed a bit, watching him intently. "What is it?"

Blaine bit his lip for a split second. If he was going to start being clear, now was the time to start. "Rachel, I do like you. But as a friend. I know I wasn't clear about that before, mostly because I was confused. I still am a little, but now I'm a little more…" He fumbled with his hands, looking at her. "Do you get what I'm saying?"

She shook her head.

Blaine sighed. This was exactly his problem. He was horrid with words. "I really….I really like Kurt. I was confused before. I was drunk at the party, and I think that aided a little in my confusion. Well, it aided a lot in my confusion. I was confident in who I was before that night, but after that I thought…you know, maybe I'm not completely gay. Maybe I'm bisexual. Maybe it was just a phase." He smiled bitterly. "My parents don't exactly approve of it, so maybe I thought they were right. I thought it was what I wanted. You were what I thought I wanted for a while. But after all of this, and now with Karofsky, and seeing Kurt's face light up whenever he gets a message from him….I know now what I want. I want Kurt to smile like that when I talk to him. I want his eyes to light up like that. I want him to like me, because I really like him."

He couldn't look up at the girl out of guilt. He had hurt her, he knew that, but…he needed to be honest. He knew what he wanted now, and he needed to be completely clear about that. He couldn't lead Rachel on like he had done to Kurt. Finally, he looked up at her with soft hazel eyes. She was no longer looking at him. Her bottom lip quivered and Blaine could see her eyes were full of tears. Blaine felt the guilt sink in deeper. He hadn't meant to make her cry, though he figured now he should have expected it. It was kind of a big deal. He wanted to reach over and grip her hand, but decided against it. No more mixed signals.

The two sat silently for almost ten minutes. Blaine shifted uneasily in his seat as he continued to look from Rachel, to his shoes, to the back door, and back to Rachel again. Rachel didn't more a muscle. She stared at the ground, tears welling up until finally one slid down her cheek. It seemed to bring her to life, as she let out a soft sigh.

"Oh." She whispered.

Blaine sighed a little. "I'm sorry Rachel. I am. I didn't mean to hurt you like this."

Rachel was quiet again for a long moment before she shook her head. "No…I understand." She looked over and Blaine was surprised when she smiled softly at him. "It's okay. This is just you…finding yourself. Kurt and I are both divas. The relationship between you and me would have eventually strained due to our allegiances to our glee clubs." She sighed wistfully. "That's how it was with Jesse. But thank you Blaine, for being honest and for showing me feelings that I myself have been trying to deny."

Blaine blinked. "What's that?"

"My heart will always belong to Finn."

"…"

Well that was relatively easy. He was a little relieved to see that there would be no drama or bad blood between them. Still, he felt guilty. With that little revelation, Blaine saw that she and Kurt had similar situations when it came to a love life.

"Still." He said, reaching over and gripping her hand. "I am sorry Rachel."

Rachel smiled, gripping his hand back. "It's alright. I was just hoping for a distraction I guess. Thank you for the short time together, though. You made me feel really special. Kurt's a lucky guy."

Blaine blushed. "I just hope he…" He sighed. "I hope this whole Karofsky thing dies down soon. I know it just started, but it seems like enough to me."

Rachel patted his hand. "It will. It has to."

Blaine smiled at her, feeling a little more at peace. That had gone way easier than he planned it would. He had been preparing for oceans of tears and perhaps a little furniture tossing, but this was good too. Now his only problem was getting Kurt to dump Dave. His thinking face was apparently, as Rachel chose then to speak again.

"Do you have a plan to get Kurt back?"

Blaine shook his head. "No. romance isn't exactly my forte. As Kurt well knows." He looked over and was surprised again to find a grin on her face. "What?"

"Well think about it! You need to woo Kurt, I need to woo Finn. We can work together. Two heads are better than one after all, and if _I'm_ suggesting teamwork you know we're going to need it."

He chuckled softly. "I didn't know how generous you are Rachel." He smiled wryly.

Rachel beamed. "I am multi-talented. Normally I wouldn't be so eager to share the spotlight, especially with our competition, but in this case I'll make an exception. Desperate times call for desperate measures."

"Deal then." Blaine smiled. "So what's the plan?"

The girl hummed softly. "Singing is the obvious way in, however the place, time, and song all depend."

"We have all day tomorrow, why don't we try something then?"

"Good idea. The issue is getting Finn and Kurt alone with us somewhere."

Blaine bit his lip. "That may be a challenge, all things considered."

"I know. We'll have to be sneaky then. How do you feel about following them around all day tomorrow?"

"Not only is that a little creepy, it could take hours."

"Point taken." Rachel sighed softly, humming. "There has to be something."

Both sat there silently, trying to think of any ideas that could work. Anything that could get their targets' attention. Their train of thought was interrupted by a soft knock on the glass door. They both looked over and saw Finn, waving slightly to them. He opened the door a little. "Everything okay?"

They both nodded, and Blaine caught the slight blush on Rachel's cheek. He wondered how long that had been going on. True, Blaine and Kurt spent most of their time together, but Kurt didn't let a lot slip about New Directions or his personal life. Blaine supposed he had no one but himself to blame for that.

Finn smiled. "Alright, great! I'm going to order some pizza. You guys want anything?"

Blaine looked over at him now. "It's 11 in the morning."

Finn pouted. "I'm hungry though."

Blaine looked back to Rachel, expecting her to roll her eyes or scoff at Finn. Yet all he found on her face was a small, dreamy smile. He surpressed a chuckle before looking back to Finn. "I'm alright. Thanks for asking though."

Finn nodded, looking to Rachel. "No onions on the combo pizza, right Rache?"

Rachel nodded, letting out a soft sigh when Finn disappeared.

Blaine continued watching her, amused. "Something wrong?"

"He knows my pizza order."

"Oh."


	21. Chapter 21

Oh my goodness! I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while! It's been a crazy two weeks but I finally have an update!

Thank you to everyone who reads, favorites and reviews! Please enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

* * *

He laid on his side under his familiar blankets, his body slightly curved inward. One hand rested flat against his head, squished between the pillow and him, and the other rested on his hip. His eyes were closed, but he was far from sleep. He was concentrating on these blankets, so warm, so comforting. No matter what happened at school, these blankets didn't discriminate against him. They always welcomed him home with warmth and comfort, all without having to say a single thing.

They were the same blankets he had slept on for about two years now, and yet they felt different. He was different. He wasn't a virgin anymore, and as weird as it sounded, he felt…relieved. In a town like Lima, Kurt thought he was going to be stuck alone for the rest of his teenage life. Then Dave came along…

Kurt was still very hesitant about this, though. He shared Finn's fear that this was all just a stunt to humiliate Kurt further. He wouldn't put it past a McKinley football player to take advantage of his vulnerable situation like that for kicks, no pun intended. But something was different about Dave. The right guard seemed more…open. Caring. He and Kurt had been communicating through text messages all morning and Kurt saw the difference through the horribly spelled words.

The past was not forgotten. Kurt remembered all too well the bruises he received from being shoved roughly into lockers, the rips in his clothes from being jerked around, the absolute fear that welled inside of him when Dave told Kurt that he would kill him if he told anyone about the locker room kiss. Kurt had a feeling that those memories would never go away, and would haunt him from the corners of his mind decades from now.

Still, he wanted desperately to trust Dave. Dave knew what Kurt was like. He knew who Kurt was, which is why Dave hated him. But that had all changed, and Kurt was curious as to why. Could it be that Dave was just tired of living a lie? Where did this sudden change come from? People didn't change overnight. Kurt proved that to himself. No matter how hard he had tried to change, it was just too hard. He couldn't be someone he wasn't.

However, Dave was doing the exact opposite. He was tired of living with a mask on, it seemed to Kurt, and he was ready to come out with it already. Kurt was happy for the football player, but he was wary all the same. What had triggered this? Why now? It was perfect timing, and Kurt knew from experience that nothing was perfect. Something was going on, something he couldn't put his finger on.

Yet he still wanted to trust Dave. He really, truly did. Despite all of their past problems, Dave had accepted him. Dave was accepting him at this very moment with every declaration of love he texted to Kurt. Kurt kept telling him that he loved him back, but did he? Somehow this felt like settling. But did he really have any other choice? Blaine was with Rachel. Blaine didn't like Kurt the way Kurt liked Blaine. Right now, the only options were Dave, or going it alone. And Kurt was tired of being alone. He was tired of being on the verge of going onto eHarmony or some sappy site like that after seeing the commercials of happy couples.

Kurt wanted to be in a happy couple. He wanted those gazes of love, hand-holding, all that jazz. He wanted to feel like he was worth something to someone without having to change who he was. But he had changed, just a little. He had stopped his skin care regimen. He stopped watching his diet. He stopped caring about the vain things he used to care about. Maybe that had contributed to this empty feeling that made him feel so hollow. He just stopped caring about himself. Why should he when no one else would?

Kurt was conflicted about so many things. He knew that he would always love Blaine, but Blaine would never love him the same way. What had started out as a drunken mistake seemed to be changing Blaine's entire outlook on life and, in turn, was changing Kurt. But Kurt didn't want to change, and yet he felt he should. Why should someone go through so much trouble just to look good for a town who wanted nothing to do with him?

He had a reason now to care for himself, and that reason was Dave. Again, Dave seemed really sincere, but then the conflict of his honesty raged on, and Kurt still had no idea what he should do. He rolled onto his back and clenched his eyes tightly, holding his breath and trying to bring that floating sensation back. He needed answers, and he needed them desperately. In the silence of his room, he heard the blood rushing through his head, his thoughts slowing to a stop. As soon as his mind came to a stand-still, he let out a slow, deep breath.

Now to think.

He loved Blaine. Blaine didn't love him. That didn't seem like it was going to change, but it very well could. Especially with that kiss they had shared before the girls showed up last night. So there was always that possibility that Blaine could change.

Dave loved Kurt, though Kurt didn't really know if he loved Dave. The boy had tortured him for years, and it was getting harder and harder to forget that fact with every moment that passed. But it really seemed that Dave had changed, so Kurt wanted to give him a chance. What if Dave turned out to be 'The One'? Kurt couldn't very well let that chance slip away, so he couldn't tell Dave to get lost. He didn't think he could handle knowing he might have sent off a man who would treat him with love and respect. Everyone deserved a chance at redemption, and Dave was no exception.

The choice still remained.

Dave.

Blaine.

Blaine.

Dave.

Both were acting like complete gentlemen at the moment. But each of them had sort of a bad past when it came to Kurt's feelings. Right now, the only one vying for Kurt was Dave. Blaine seemed content with his choice, and he seemed content with being only friends. Kurt could deal with that, but he needed to set some boundaries with Blaine. No more random kisses when trying to figure out sexual orientation. No more talking like boyfriend and boyfriend. Just friends. Support, friendliness, platonic…ness.

And it wasn't like he was marrying Dave right this second. He could take his time deciding if dating Dave was what he really wanted. He had time. Who knows? It may not even last that long, but he wouldn't not try. He wasn't going to give up that easily. He had to have at least a little faith in humanity. Or, in Dave at least. If it turned out to be a joke, he could easily let Finn handle it. If it turned into something serious, then Kurt had made the right decision.

He needed to talk to Dave about this decision, and so he picked up the phone and called the right guard. Dave picked up almost immediately, his voice softer than Kurt had ever heard it before. "Hey."

Kurt felt himself blush, and his heart pounded in his chest. "H-Hi Dave. I was just wondering if we could meet up today."

"Sure babe."

Babe. That was all it took for Kurt to grin like an idiot. No one had called him babe before. His heart swelled and he had to suppress a giggle. "Great. Where should we meet?"

"Well, my parents aren't home. Want to come over?"

Kurt hesitated, but decided that Dave's house was best. It was an intimate setting, and he wasn't sure how Burt would react if he saw the same guy that had chased Kurt out of McKinley in their living room as if nothing had happened. He would have to find a way to tell Burt about it later, but right now he needed to speak to Dave, and to just see him again.

"Sure, that sounds great."

He could hear the smile in Dave's voice. "Awesome." He rattled the address off to Kurt, who wrote it down and told Dave he'd see him in a bit before hanging up. Thankfully he had already taken a shower, so now all that was left was to find an outfit. He slid out of bed and stretched for a moment before getting up and striding over to his closet, humming softly. His clothes were all organized alphabetically by brand, then color so it was easy to match up with pants and accessories. Every time he saw his clothes he had to smile. He loved his clothes, and he desperately missed wearing them. The Dalton uniform was okay but he needed that freedom of expression. It was almost as vital to him as singing was.

He pushed the hangars slowly back and forth, searching for something simple, yet elegant. Elegant wasn't so much a problem as simple was. He decided on a white button up shirt underneath a dark gray Alexander McQueen sweater with swirled designs on the upper arms with gray skinny jeans. He made sure the collar stuck out from under the sweater, and that the cuffs of the shirt were folded perfectly over the sleeves of the sweater. Looking in his full length mirror on the door of the closer, he smiled, satisfied. He reached over and grabbed his black slip-on shoes, sliding into them before going to comb his hair. Instead of the usual flat-and-parted way, he combed his bangs all to one side so they sort of stood up. Seeing how it stayed perfectly, he sprayed a bit of hairspray to keep it that way before grabbing his phone just in case, and heading out of his room.

As soon as he stepped out of his haven, the smell of greasy, cheesy, pepperoni-y pizza hit him, and he had to smile at that as well. Same old Finn. Pizza right after a hug breakfast. He bounded down the stairs and glanced in the kitchen. Seeing Blaine, Rachel and Finn eating together should have surprised him, but he wasn't really. They would have to all get along now. After all, Finn was Rachel's ex-boyfriend, and they were still in glee club together. They really had no choice _but_ to get along, no matter how painful. He should know. He had to do the same with Blaine.

But enough about that. He made his decision for now. He knocked on the open doorway of the kitchen and smiled when the trio looked up at him. "Going out for a bit. I'll be back later."

Before he had a chance to turn, Finn swallowed the half piece of pizza in his mouth. "Where you going?"

Kurt mentally cursed his stepbrother before smiling. "Oh, you know. Just out."

"With Dave?"

"…Yes Finn, with Dave."

Finn gave him a wary look before nodding slowly. "Alright. You got your cell phone? Just in case?"

Kurt couldn't help but roll his eyes as he pulled out his phone and showed it to them. "Yep, right here."

Looking at Blaine and Rachel, he saw that something was off. Rachel wasn't clinging to Blaine like she usually was, and Blaine sort of had this weird, wounded look on his face. He remembered that look from the Gap Attack, still fresh in his memory. But he wondered what put it there.

"Alright, just be careful okay?" Finn asked, making Kurt look back at him. Kurt nodded.

"I will. I'll call if anything comes up."

"Do you want any of us to come with you?" Blaine piped up, and Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"N-No, I'll be alright."

Blaine bit his lip, and Kurt told himself that Blaine was just worried, like any friend would be. It was platonic. Stop getting your hopes up. This was about Dave right now. Dave and only Dave.

"Alright, see you later. Oh, can you stop by Wing Stop and get me some of their original boneless chicken? The one with really hot sauce."

Kurt chuckled softly. "Sure Finn. I'll be back." He waved to the three before reaching over to the kitchen counter and grabbing his keys, walking off. He didn't see the concerned looks that Finn, Rachel, and Blaine watched him go with.

In the Navigator, he turned the car on and let it warm up a bit, looking through his iPod to see what kind of musical mood he was in. He passed up his entire album of Wicked, Les Mis, Sweeney Todd and Grease before changing to another playlist. He hummed softly, nothing particularly catching his eye until the highlighted line landed on it. He smirked a little at its perfection before pressing the button in the middle of the wheel and setting the iPod in the empty drink holder. He put the car in gear and turned his head slightly, letting the song start up.

"_Don't call me Gaga  
I've never seen one like that before  
Don't look at me like that  
You amaze me…"_

When he was out in the street, he straightened the wheel and pulled away, heading for the address that Dave had given him. It was a good mile away, so he could finish the song. He started to sing along, letting the slow beat fill the car.

"_Look at him  
Look at me  
That boy is bad, and honestly  
He's a wolf, in disguise  
But I can't stop staring in those evil eyes_

_I asked my girlfriend if she'd seen you 'round before  
She mumbled somethin' while we got down on the floor  
We might've fucked, not really sure, don't quite recall  
But somethin' tells me that I've seen him, yeah_

_That boy is a monster (M-M-M-Monster)  
That boy is a monster (M-M-M-Monster  
That boy is a monster (M-M-M-Monster)  
That boy is a monster  
Er-er-er-er_

_He ate my heart  
He a-a-ate my heart  
He ate my heart  
He a-a-ate my heart out_

_He licked his lips, looked at me  
Said girl you look good enough to eat  
Put his arms around me  
Said boy now get your paws right off'a me_

_I asked my girlfriend if she'd seen you 'round before  
She mumbled somethin' while we got down on the floor  
We might've fucked, not really sure, don't quite recall  
But somethin' tells me that I've seen him, yeah_

_That boy is a monster (M-M-M-Monster)  
That boy is a monster (M-M-M-Monster)  
That boy is a monster (M-M-M-Monster)  
That boy is a monster  
Er-er-er-er"_

He turned down the volume as he approached the Karofsky household, more apparent to him now since Dave was standing on the stoop of the house, nervously pacing back and forth. Seeing the Navigator, Dave looked up and smiled weakly at Kurt, and Kurt felt a burning sensation in the pit of his stomach. He only hoped that this boy wasn't truly a monster.

Kurt parked along the sidewalk in front of the home, turning the ignition off and slowly getting out of the car. He now realized that his legs were shaking and he was truly, truly scared. But he shouldn't be. He had been texting Dave all morning. There was a gentleness about him. But what if that had been faked? What if this was a set up? What if Kurt was walking right into some sort of trap?

He shook his head slightly, clenching his teeth and forcing himself to stop shaking. No. He was going to do this. He was going to face his fears. Dave seemed really honest. He practically bore his soul to Kurt through misspelled messages. There had to be something there. Some kindness. Some truth. So Kurt closed his door and put his keys in the pocket of his jeans, walking over to Dave with a forced smile. Dave smiled back, this time a little stronger.

Kurt's legs were still trembling a little, but as he got closer to Dave, and no one popped out with pee balloons or jumped him, he felt his worry slowly melt away. Finally he reached Dave, and was pleasantly surprised when Dave reached out and took one of Kurt's hands, gripping it gently.

"Hey." Dave mumbled, his eyes warm and brimming with something Kurt never thought he'd seen there before. Happiness.

A real smile bloomed across Kurt's face, and he giggled softly.

"Hi Dave."


	22. Chapter 22

Sorry for the long wait! But I think you'll be fairly happy with this chapter. Thank you all for reading, favoriting and reviewing! Please enjoy!

**Warning: graphic detail**

He remembered the slamming of the lockers.

That damn sound had been engrained so deep in his memory that he doubted it would ever go away. The pain of the metal catching him as he was shoved yet again would always throb dully in his shoulders. The humiliation and sadness that hit him when no one even glanced at him as he slid to the dirty floor would forever burn his face when he heard remembered that sound.

And now he was standing inside a stranger's home, looking at the boy who had been the cause of it all.

Dave Karofsky.

Kurt swallowed the lump in his throat as he stared into Dave's hopeful hazel-green eyes. A few moments ago the dance beat of Lady Gaga had given him courage to face the monster he had feared for so long. But right now he wasn't staring at a monster. He was staring at a boy. A simple, scared boy who had made many mistakes. It was hard for Kurt to face someone who had made his life a living hell for years, but he couldn't imagine what Dave was feeling right now. He imagined it was some sort of fear. Texting was easy, but seeing each other face to face like this…it just made everything personal.

They both watched each other for a long moment, their breaths the only sound filling the short distance between them, until Dave cleared his throat.

"So…how've you been?"

Kurt bobbed his head up and down quickly. "Good, good, really good." He scratched the back of his head, feeling dumb for the fast answer. "I uh…Dalton's nice. The homework is a little harder but the boys are really nice. They mean well, anyway." He chuckled. "How are you?"

"'M alright. We won the championship game this year."

"Oh that's right! I was there. Well, not dancing, obviously, but in the crowd." He smiled softly. "I saw you dancing with the glee club that night. You were amazing." And in that moment, Kurt swore he saw Dave blush. "Have you considered joining glee club?"

Dave shook his head. "No, I don't think I could ever."

Kurt smiled wider, and Dave's blush deepened. "Of course you could. I've never heard you sing, but I know you're a fair dancer." He reached over and put a hand on Dave's arm gently. "Give yourself a chance, Dave. You could do great things."

Dave sighed softly. "I just…Kurt." He mumbled, moving his hand and cupping Kurt's cheek. Now he could do this. Now he could touch the boy he had wanted for so long out here on the sidewalk. Out in the open. In the world, without having to worry about being judged. "I'm not strong like you. I'm not confident, or any of that junk."

When he felt Dave's fingertips against his cheek, Kurt felt himself inhale sharply. Those eyes of his were so intense. "Of course you are, Dave." He whispered. "You're confident to be yourself-"

"You don't understand." Dave pulled away and gripped his letterman jacket, ever present on his form. "This is who I am, Kurt. This is who I have to be for the people at school. I can't…this is my armor."

"It doesn't have to be." Kurt said softly. "Dave, I don't remember a lot about the other night. But I remember enough to know that the Karofsky I thought I knew was a fake. That Neanderthal bully isn't you, Dave. You're sweet, kind, and gentle, like you are right now. You're being reasonable and you aren't calling me names." He moved closer to the right guard and held his face in his hands, tilting Dave's head back slightly so their eyes met again. "This is the real you, Dave."

Dave reached his arms around Kurt's waist and pulled the smaller boy close, and they shared a slow, sweet kiss. Kurt wrapped his arms around Dave's neck and the kiss deepened. Kurt's heart raced with excitement as he felt Dave's tongue slide into his mouth, and he greeted it by brushing his tongue against it. He felt Dave's hands grip the back of his shirt as their tongues mingled lazily with each other. Short, hot breaths were taken when they pulled away slightly, but never enough to break contact.

Kurt shivered when he felt Dave's warm hands slide up the back of his shirt. He moved up on the tip of his toes and leaned against the football player a bit more, arching his back a little. He moaned softly at the feeling of Dave's rough hands roaming his back. Skin against skin…it was so sensual…an amazing feeling that Kurt didn't want to end.

It didn't seem like it was going to. Dave broke the heated kiss gently, making Kurt whine, before Dave busied his mouth with the supple skin of Kurt's neck. Kurt tilted his head the opposite way, giving Dave better access. His long, slender fingers curled in Dave's short hair, pulling him closer. Dave shivered as Kurt's short, sharp pants brushed his ear. He sucked Kurt's neck a bit harder now, his teeth brushing against the skin as well, determined to make his mark. He was a bit surprised when Kurt didn't pull away. He knew how much Kurt cared for the upkeep of his perfectly smooth and blemish-free skin. He complained about it enough when they used to throw him into the dumpsters. Yet here they were, not even a foot away from the front door, Dave marking the boy he had loved from afar for so long.

His lips detached from Kurt with a soft 'pop!', and he pulled away slowly. Seeing the reddish-purple mark, he was satisfied. Now everyone would know that Kurt was taken. Kurt was his.

"Dave." Kurt breathed, his eyes closed and his body trembling.

Dave smiled softly. God, Kurt's voice was so beautiful. He regretted not stopping by more glee club performances. But that was all in the past, and now this boy was all his. Finally.

"…do you want this?"

Kurt's eyes slid open only halfway, and brilliant blue eyes locked with hazel-green. Did he want this? Did he want to voluntarily and soberly, give himself to Dave Karofsky? The boy who had bullied him that he had to transfer schools? The boy who had threatened his life? The boy who was acting so sweet at the moment that Kurt swore he was getting a cavity by just being near him?

A lot of things happened in the past. None of those things were completely forgivable. Kurt had been scared out of his own school because of this boy. But still…it was always going to be a struggle. Dave had been struggling with who he was, and although it was sort of ridiculous the amount of hate that Dave expressed towards him before, right now everything was different. Everything had changed. Circumstances had changed. People had changed. Blaine changed, Kurt changed, Dave changed. Everything was going to be different now, and this was the first step.

Kurt nodded slowly. "Yes." He whispered. He couldn't spend his life afraid of his boy. He wanted to be free of fear. He didn't want to flinch every time something that sounded like a locker slammed. Free of avoiding any gas stations with slushie machines. Free of anxiety every time he saw a letterman jacket. He wanted what he felt right now at this moment: warmth, safety, love.

His heart pounded as his Alexander McQueen sweater was peeled off of him, and he appreciated when Dave took a moment to fold it carefully and put it on the arm of one of the couches in the living room.

The right guard then went back to Kurt, unbuttoning his short slowly. Kurt shivered as cold air swam against his bare chest and flat stomach. The cold was soon replaced with Dave's soft, warm breaths as he leaned down and placed his chapped lips against Kurt's silky smooth chest. Dave pulled away slightly after the first kiss, then moved down for another, trailing slow, gentle kisses on Kurt's chest until he reached one of Kurt's nipples. Kurt held a breath in anticipation, and he cried out when he felt Dave's hot mouth around his left nipple. Dave picked his mouth slightly and sucked the pink bud slowly. Kurt writhed against the wall, panting softly at the new sensation. He moaned when Dave scraped his teeth slowly over the nipple, then brushed his rough tongue over it for good measure.

Kurt's hands reached the air beside him, trying to find something, anything to hold onto. If he didn't he might go crazy, and he may rip Dave's hair off. But the walls were smooth, and he was forced to clench his hands into fists as Dave treated his right nipple the same as the left. Kurt's legs were beginning to weaken as shocks of pleasure shot through him. He didn't think he could handle this…

His eyes opened slowly, and it was almost like seeing for the first time. He heard more clothes rustling and looked to Dave, who had slid out of his letterman jacket and threw it unceremoniously to the floor next to the couch. Kurt had to smile at that. Right now there was no McKinley, no football team, no hockey team, no New Directions. Kurt stared at his Alexander McQueen sweater folded neatly and resting on the arm of the couch, with Dave's letterman jacket lying right underneath it. There were no labels today. Just love.

Their lips crashed together again, and Kurt threw his arms around Dave's neck, pulling him closer. Their tongues wrestled against each other, not for dominance but to feel more of those fireworks shooting through their veins.

Kurt surprised himself when he felt this throbbing need. He had never really felt like this before. It was almost animalistic the way he grabbed the back of Dave's shirt and pulled it off. Their lips were forced apart by the material coming between them, but once the shirt was discarded their lips found each other again with a needy lust. Now with only two pairs of pants the only wall between them, that lust only burned more.

"C…c'mon." Dave mumbled, pulling Kurt up and lifting him onto his shoulder. Kurt let out a soft, surprised squeak, and he swatted Dave's shoulder when he laughed. As Dave carried him down a hallway, Kurt curled his smaller body so that he could nibble on Dave's ear. The small bites made Dave growl softly, and Kurt laughed softly.

Soon Kurt found himself lying on his back on a soft mattress he knew to be Dave's by the faint smell of axe and sweat. He didn't time to adjust himself before he felt Dave on top of him, their lips attached again. Kurt had thought all of those years that Dave could easily smash him by his sheer size, but he found that this weight was comfortable. It felt right.

As they kissed, they found that this kiss was much slower. The kiss mingled with soft gasps and moans. Both boys took turns pulling away slightly from the kiss, slightly distracted by their erections pressing up against each other. Dave's hand moved down and he unzipped his own pants, stroking himself slowly as they kissed.

Kurt pulled away from the kiss for air again, and noticed Dave's hand moving up and down slowly on his shaft. When Dave moved down for another kiss, Kurt moved his head to avoid it, and Dave's eyebrows furrowed. "Kurt, you okay?"

Kurt nodded slowly, biting his lip for a second. "Let me just…" He mumbled, reaching down and touching Dave's hand. Dave's gaze followed Kurt's hand, and they both stared at their hands and Dave's erection for a long moment. Kurt licked his lips. "Can I…?"

Dave looked up at Kurt, their eyes locking again, before he nodded slowly. He pulled his hand away slowly and sat up next to Kurt. Kurt sat up and moved his hand close to Dave's throbbing erection again, taking it carefully into his hand. Dave let out a soft moan, and Kurt watched his face contort into pleasure as he started to pump the right guard's erection. Dave's hips bucked and he moved slowly with Kurt's strokes. Kurt took this as a good sign and quickened his strokes. The room was filled with Dave's moans and mumbles of Kurt's name. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes, panting softly. His body tightened when he felt his end near, but he didn't want it to end. Not yet.

He put his hand over Kurt's, and Kurt looked up with a worried look on his face. "Is that okay? Did I hurt you?" he asked quickly.

Dave smiled softly, shaking his head. "No, you didn't hurt me." He mumbled. "I just want this to last as long as possible."

Kurt blushed a little and leaned over, kissing Dave's lips. Dave kissed back slowly, pulling Kurt close and wrapping his arms around the smaller boy. Kurt ended up on top of Dave, moaning softly into the kiss. He broke it with a gasp when he felt Dave's erection pressing against his own.

Dave watched him with soft eyes, bringing a hand up to cup Kurt's cheek. "We don't have to go any further if you don't want to, Kurt."

Kurt looked Dave in the eye, and hesitated. They had already, though. Kurt was no longer a virgin. And right now, he was sober. He wanted to remember what it felt like. He wanted to remember it this time, and now seemed like a good a time as any. He smiled softly and turned his head to kiss Dave's fingertips. "No…let's do it. Just be gentle okay? I'm still a little…tender." He mumbled, and Dave chuckled softly.

"Promise."


	23. Chapter 23

Hello all! I feel like it's been forever since I last updated but it looks like it's only been a few days! Yay!

Thank you all for reading, favoriting and reviewing! Please enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, nor either of the songs.

* * *

He had been pacing back and forth for almost half an hour now. The poor wooden plank that he was quietly walking over would probably have a slight dig from the time after time after time he walked over it for years to come. But the unintended damage done to the hardwood floor was not even a thought in the storm of worst-case scenarios buzzing around in Blaine's head at this moment.

At the moment all that was on his mind was Kurt. What was he doing with Dave? Was Dave being nice? Had this been a prank? Was Kurt in danger? Was he suffering at this moment? Was he beaten? Left to die in an alleyway? Tied up and tortured somewhere? Or was he just exaggerating? Was Kurt okay? Were they talking in the sunshine somewhere? Was Kurt laughing? Was he blushing at something Dave said? Was he smiling? Was he happy?

Blaine stopped pacing and held his head in his hands, groaning. He was going to go mad at this rate. He was just so worried. Blaine had seen the terror that Dave had instilled in Kurt. He had witnessed it firsthand when he went to McKinley to confront the bully, and found himself with his hands up in surrender as Dave Karofsky shoved him against a linked fence. Karofsky didn't seem afraid of the consequences of beating someone up, nor of being caught. The confrontation had, after all, happened in an open hallway. Students trying to get to class were all around them, and yet no one stopped to intervene.

Right now, Kurt was in Dave's setting. He was vulnerable. Sure, Blaine and Finn knew where he was, but they had no address. No phone number to contact other than Kurt's, and if Dave happened to toss the phone far from Kurt's reach, there was no telling what could happen. It could be days before they found Kurt, or Kurt's body…

He shook his head quickly, trying to rid himself of the thoughts. _Don't think of that, Anderson_, he scolded mentally. _Don't even go there right now. Kurt is fine. Kurt is fine_. Blaine sighed softly, going over and sitting on the edge of Kurt's bed. He ran his hands through his ungelled hair, trying to calm his thoughts. If anything weird happened, he trusted that a neighbor or someone would call for help for Kurt if he was in danger. Blaine knew that humanity wasn't all that great, but he still had hope that someone would help Kurt if something were to happen. And he hoped, _prayed_ that Dave wasn't being mean to Kurt.

Neither boy had the best track record when it came to Kurt's feelings, and Blaine could only blame himself for this situation. If he had just been honest with himself and with Kurt about his feelings, then he wouldn't be here alone in Kurt's room, worrying beyond belief for the countertenor. If he hadn't been an idiot and gotten drunk and kissed Rachel, none of this would be happening. If he had told Kurt that he was interested after Kurt expressed those very same feelings on Valentine's Day, then perhaps they would be the one on a date. Kurt wouldn't even remember the name Dave Karofsky.

Unfortunately, Blaine had been too dense for his own good. As much as he would love to blame it on the alcohol, he couldn't. Sure, he and Rachel had shared a kiss when they were drunk, but Blaine continued to pursue her far after the alcohol had worn off. Not only that, he had kissed Kurt and told him to keep it a secret in order not to hurt his chances with Rachel.

He slammed his fist into the soft mattress.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

What the hell had possessed him to do that? He remembered clearly the hurt expression on Kurt's face after Blaine had said that, and he chose to ignore it. For what? For a fake relationship with a girl he knew he wasn't even remotely romantically interested in? To make himself straight to please his parents? This is what trying to please people did. It messed everything up. Blaine and Kurt had been doing just fine until this all happened…

…right?

Alright, so there was that whole Gap Attack incident…and the auditions for Sectionals…and telling Kurt to blend in…to not put his hands up…and…

Okay so things weren't _perfect_ but what did it matter? They both treasured this friendship, right? Blaine loved the times that he and Kurt spent together studying or practicing new songs. Every trip to the Lima Bean was an adventure, albeit a small one. They had good times together, and Blaine had thrown it all away at a chance to be 'normal'.

What was normal, anyway? Who was normal? They had all tried being normal, and none of it worked. Kurt had tried to shy away from his naturally diva self, Blaine had tried to deny his feelings, and Dave had tried to deny who he was. None of them succeeded, but it seemed that Kurt was the only one getting hurt because of it. Because of them and their problems. The problem with being normal was that it hurt. Being something that someone says is normal, hurts. It means denying yourself what you want in your heart and hiding behind a mask. No one could live like that. Masks break. Blaine's mask had broken when he kissed Kurt. Dave's mask had broken when he and Kurt got together.

However cracked, Kurt's mask was still very much intact. Blaine never knew what his friend was thinking because he was so good at hiding it. At the beginning of their friendship Kurt had been an open book. But after so many times of being shut down, of being told to blend in, to put on that uniform and conform to the norm, Kurt put that mask back on. To please Blaine.

Blaine felt sick.

He remembered his words clearly. _"If you hadn't noticed, we're all wearing uniforms here."_

They were all supposed to be the same. They were all supposed to be equal. In a sick, and very 'Animal Farm'-esque way, Blaine had basically told Kurt that they were equals, but Blaine was just a little more equal than others. Blaine was the prince of Dalton. He got all the solos. He was popular. He was their leader. He called the shots, council be damned. And instead of using that influence to better Kurt's experience at Dalton so far by making him feel welcome, Blaine had told him that he wasn't normal enough.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a soft knock. He looked up to find Finn staring at him with a worried look in his eyes. "You okay dude?"

Blaine nodded slightly. "Fine. What's up?"

"Oh, well, I know you were worried about Kurt." He bit his lip, chewing in thought. "I am too. But he just sent me a text that he's okay and he'll be back by dinner to take you guys back to Dalton."

By dinner? That seemed like an awfully long time. It was only noon by then, and the Hudmels didn't have dinner until at least five.

"Did he say what they were doing?"

Finn nodded. "Yeah, they're going to Breadstix for lunch. Public place so I know Dave won't really try anything. Too many witnesses."

…Breadstix, huh?

"Is Rachel still here?"

Finn looked a bit confused at that question. "Uh, no. She just went home, but I can call her if you want."

Blaine shook his head quickly. "No, no that's fine. I was just…nothing. Look, would you mind if I asked for a ride somewhere?" Blaine had promised himself that no matter what, he was going to tell Kurt the truth about how he felt and he was going to do it. No matter what.

Finn blinked. "….where do you need to go?"

"Give me a minute to pick out a song. We're going to Breadstix."

* * *

"Dave are you alright?

Kurt watched the football player sitting across from him, his hand raised in a midway between his salad plate and his mouth. Dave had been acting odd since they got to the mall, shifting his eyes back and forth and not really eating. Kurt was worried about him.

"Do you feel sick or something?"

Dave's eyes finally looked to Kurt, and he shook his head quickly. "No, I'm fine. Sorry."

"It's okay." Kurt said softly, smiling to try and comfort the other. But something was off. Dave wasn't acting like he had been earlier. He had changed again, and that was starting to scare Kurt. He tried not to wonder if this entire thing was a setup, but it couldn't have been. Not the way that Dave had been so sincere earlier. No one could fake that, especially not Dave. He wasn't the best actor in the world.

Kurt chewed on his iceberg lettuce slowly, watching Dave stab a piece of steak and chew it as quickly as he could before repeating the action. Kurt took this time to look around the restaurant. It was relatively busy, but he didn't see any people he knew. No one from school and certainly no football players. So what was Dave so nervous about?

Dave took a shaky breath in between pieces of steak, wiping his mouth. Kurt reached over and touched Dave's free hand gently, and he was surprised when the football player flinched.

"Dave, seriously, what's going on?" Kurt asked, pulling his hand away now. He was starting to get scared and frankly, a little pissed off. They had just shared a lovely afternoon together in bed. Why was Dave acting like this?

"I'm just…I'm nervous, okay? I've never…" Dave mumbled, glancing around the restaurant again. Kurt followed his eyes, still not recognizing anyone. Then Dave's words registered, and he realized that Dave had never been on a date with another boy before. Not in broad daylight, out in public for everyone to see like this. He was nervous about people seeing them. About what they would say. Kurt had to smile softly.

"Davie." He mumbled, making Dave look to him. "It's okay. It doesn't matter who says what. If you love someone, you shouldn't be afraid or ashamed about it. We're in this together, okay?"

Dave watched him for a long moment. A small smile finally broke his nervous expression, and he nodded slowly. "You're right. I'm sorry Kurt."

"It's okay. Enjoy your meal and don't worry about it." He grinned softly. "No slushie machines here."

Dave smiled a bit more, taking a bite of his steak. He chewed it thoughtfully, his eyes never leaving Kurt.

"…Kurt?"

"Mm?"

"….I'm really sorry about that."

Kurt raised an eyebrow, a cheek full of salad. He chewed quickly and swallowed before asking, "About what?"

Dave bit his lip, glancing down to the table before looking back at Kurt. "Everything. Shoving you, the slushie facials, calling you names, the locker room…I'm really, really sorry."

Kurt was surprised to say they very least. He had come out with Dave for a good time and settle his past fears. He had never, ever expected Dave to actually apologize. He smiled a little, tears welling up in his eyes. "Well…" He said breathlessly. "Thank you Dave." Blue eyes met hazel-green, and both boys smiled. "That really does mean a lot."

He reached over and put his hand over Dave's, and this time Dave didn't shy away. They gazed at each other, slightly shy but more comfortable than either of them had been before. For a moment, Kurt wondered if this was a dream.

If it was, the dream was shattered by the sharp back feed of the microphone on the small stage at the back of the restaurant. "Testing, testing. Oh, great, it's working!"

Kurt's heart plummeted, and he looked over to see the owner of that all-too-recognizable voice. Blaine stood on the stage, grinning madly. "Hey, isn't that…" Dave asked, his voice trailing off as he realized exactly who that was.

Shit.

"Well good afternoon, patrons of Breadstix. I don't mean to interrupt you but there's just…something that I need to do. Something I need to say to someone here, and instead of keeping it a secret I think I'd like to share it in the form of a song, if it's alright with you all."

Some people sitting at the tables nodded slightly, looking at each other and wondering what exactly was going on. Others barely glanced up from their meals, and for them, Kurt was grateful. He was sure to die of embarrassment in this very moment.

"Awesome!" Blaine chuckled softly into the mic as the very familiar boys of the New Directions backup band set up quickly on the stage.

"What is he doing?" Dave mumbled, a blush creeping up on his face. Kurt was sure it was from second-hand embarrassment, and that only made Kurt want to crawl under the table and die even more. "I have no idea." He replied, praying to any entity out there that Blaine didn't do anything remotely stupid. Then again, Blaine seemed to be par for the course right now. Kurt groaned internally when the band started to play softly, and Blaine crooned into the mic.

"_If you want a lover  
I'll do anything you ask me too  
And if you want another kind of love  
I'll wear a mask for you  
And If you want a partner take my hand  
And If you want to strike me down in anger  
Here I stand  
I'm your man"_

Kurt was hopeful in that hiding his face so deep in his hands, no one, not even Blaine could recognize him right now. His cheeks were deep with a blush, and his teeth were clenched. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

"Kurt." Dave whispered, but Kurt didn't want to look. He couldn't. He was going to faint or punch Blaine in the face. Did he learn nothing from the Gap Attack?

"_And if you want boxer  
I will step into the ring for you  
And if you want a Doctor  
I'll examine every inch of you  
And if you want a driver climb inside  
And if you want to take me for a ride  
You know you can  
Cause I'm your man"_

"Kurt." Dave whispered fervently.

"Shh, I'm trying to-"

Kurt's hand was pulled away from his face, and Kurt found himself face-to-face with Blaine.

"…hide."

Blaine winked at him, tugging his hand gently. Kurt tried not to budge, but Blaine seemed to have developed some kind of superhuman strength to pull him out from behind the table. Kurt stumbled and ended up leaning against Blaine for balance, and seeing Blaine grin, Kurt growled. Not seeing the obvious anger on Kurt's face, Blaine wrapped an arm around Kurt's tiny waist and pulled him close.

"_I've crawled to you baby  
And I've followed your feet  
I've howled at your beauty like a dog in heat_

I've called at your heart  
And I tear at your sheet  
Cause I'm your m-"

Blaine was startled when Kurt grabbed the mic. But instead of bludgeoning him to death with it as originally planned, Kurt glared at him and put the mic to his own lips.

"_Now you say you're lonely  
You cried the whole night through  
Well you can cry me a river  
Cry me a river  
I cried a river over you"_

Blaine wasn't going to listen to reason. He wasn't going to listen to Kurt talk, so Kurt was going to beat him at his own game. Blaine Anderson needed to be put back in line.

"_Now you say you're sorry  
For being so untrue  
Well you can cry me a river  
Cry me a river  
I cried a river over you"_

He pushed against Blaine, making the older boy take a few steps back.

"_You drove me nearly out of my head  
While you never shed a tear, babe  
Remember,"_

Kurt put a finger to his temple, raising his eyebrows. "_I remember all that you said."_

"_You told me love was too plebian  
Told me you were through with me  
And now you say you love me_

Well just to prove that you do  
Why don't you cry me a river?  
Cry me a river!  
'Cuz I cried a river over you  
Over you"

Kurt pushed past the other, jumping onto the stage with the band who had fumbled momentarily, but joined in the song with their instruments. Kurt put the mic back in its cradle. All he had wanted was a damn good time and Blaine had to come and ruin it. Fine, if that's how he wanted to play. Kurt would show him that no one pushed Kurt Hummel around.

"_You say you love me  
But you lied"_

He practically snarled into the mic, his eyes not leaving Blaine.

"_Now you say you love me  
Well just to prove that you do  
Come on and cry me a river!  
Oh cry me a river  
I cried a river over you_

_I cried a river….over….you"_

He swayed his hips slowly to the beat of the music as he lost himself in the music, the lyrics…

"_I cried a river.  
Now you can too._

_Cry me a river…._

_Cry_

_Me_

_A_

_River!"_

Breadstix filled with applause as the seemingly forgotten people that crowded the restaurant all stood and cheered for the amazing talent that had suddenly appeared in the middle of their lunches. Usually Kurt would swell with pride at the sound of such a glorious sound as applause, but right now he was far too angry. He bowed his head a bit in thanks before moving off of the stage, shoving past Blaine.

"Kurt-"

"Stop Blaine." He said, turning to face Blaine once more. Blaine had a wounded look on his face, but Kurt had to be strong.

"Just stop."

Blaine was silent now, and for that Kurt was thankful. Sometimes Blaine just needed to shut up and listen. Kurt turned around to walk back to his table when he saw it. Or rather, he didn't see.

Dave was gone. 


	24. Chapter 24

Two chapters in a weekend? Success! I hope you're all still enjoying the story! I think I'm going to wrap it up in a couple of chapters, but we shall see. No promises :) And for those who are curious, yes Dave will be coming back. Soon.

Trigger warning: Depression and angst heading your way.

Thank you all for reading, favoriting, and reviewing! Please enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

* * *

He rubbed his arms nervously, looking back from one boy to the other. The sun was just starting to set, making the sky glow beautiful red, purple and soft orange colors, but it wasn't like he could enjoy it at the moment.

Kurt was just staring into space, arms crossed and back to he and Blaine, who were leaning against the car. Blaine wanted to run over to Kurt's side and pull him close, but Finn had stopped him earlier. Right now, Kurt just needed some space. And he might rip Blaine's face of if the Warbler set foot near him, so that was another reason. Finn wasn't too sure that Blaine could get his face sewn back on.

After the whole Breadstix incident, which was sure to go down in history, Kurt had stormed the entire mall looking for Dave while screaming over his shoulder at Blaine, and blaming Finn for even bringing him. Finn felt bad, but in his defense he really hadn't known about Blaine's plan. He honestly still didn't know what happened. He had just been waiting outside of the restaurant, wondering if he should get a piece of pizza from the place across the way.

Kurt had sent Dave hundreds of text messages and called him over and over, all to no avail. Finally, after almost two hours wandering around the mall, Finn convinced Kurt that they should go home and just wait for Dave to contact him. Unfortunately, Kurt had the Navigator still parked outside of Dave's house, and he nearly broke the front door down just to see if Dave was in there when they arrived. He wasn't, or if he was, he didn't answer.

Dragging him away from the door had been no easy feat, but Finn managed to get Kurt in his car. He didn't trust Kurt to drive himself, so he drove the Navigator while Blaine drove Finn's car back to the Hudmel home. Kurt hadn't said anything on the way, and Finn didn't prod him for any answers. He could only guess what rage and sadness Kurt was feeling.

Apparently the emotions were too much, and Kurt was simply…stuck. His feet wouldn't move. He wouldn't respond when Blaine or Finn said his name to get his attention. He simply stared out into the empty street, his face blank, arms crossed, head tilted slightly down. The soft spring breeze brushed some stray locks of hair across his forehead, and unlike so many other times, Kurt did not reach up to move them away.

His pale cheeks did not have any hint of pink on them, the usual tell-tale sign that he was going to cry. Nor were his eyes full of tears. His bottom lip did not quiver. His small body did not tremble. His throat was not dry. He was simply standing there, staring at the street, and wondering where it all went so wrong.

Blaine, by now, had figured out that what he had done wasn't the greatest thing. He didn't think it was as bad as the Gap Attack, however he supposed he shouldn't have sprung that on Kurt. But hadn't he proved himself right? Dave ran. That meant something, right?

Finn bit his lip as he watched his stepbrother. He wasn't really good with giving out advice, but this was different. He had no idea what had happened, he had no idea what Blaine or Dave had done. All he knew at this moment was that Kurt was in pain, he was pissed off at Blaine, and he wasn't moving an inch. He checked his watch, and seeing that they had been standing there for almost fifteen minutes, he decided he needed to do something. He walked over slowly, reaching out and putting a hand on Kurt's shoulder.

"Kurt?"

The countertenor didn't even flinch at the contact, and for a fleeting moment Finn wondered if people could go into comas while standing up. He shook Kurt gently. "Kurt? We should probably go inside. It's almost dinner, then you have to go back to Westerville."

He was silent for a few moments, waiting for any kind of response from Kurt. Receiving none, he sighed. "Kurt, come on. Please say something."

Finn watched his brother open his mouth slightly, then close it again. There were no words for what Kurt was feeling right now. There were a whole lot of synonyms. Angry, confused, upset, worried, sad, torn…but this ache in his chest couldn't be described. Right now Kurt didn't know what to say. There was so much to say, but he couldn't say anything. Where would he start? Where would he end?

When did life become so difficult? Sometimes he wondered if his mother never died, if life would be this hard. It seemed that all the heartache had blossomed from that. But there was no way he could blame her for any of this. He could very well blame Blaine for his incessant need to shove himself into any situation he cared to, but in a way…Kurt blamed himself. If he was just normal none of this would happen. If he hadn't wanted a boyfriend, none of this would have happened. If he hadn't cared that Blaine kissed Rachel, none of this would have happened. If he didn't like Blaine, none of this would have happened. If he hadn't been a coward and ran from Dave, none of this would have happened. If he had been normal, none of this would have happened.

He just wanted to be normal.

That was all.

"Kurt?"

Kurt closed his eyes, taking a step forward. He listened very carefully, but it seemed that he still couldn't hear quite as clear as he would have liked to.

"Kurt, what are you doing?"

He held his breath and listened. Now the only sound in the world was his heart beating slowly. But as he stayed perfectly still, he heard another sound. The sound that would set him free. He had done many things that didn't qualify as normal. According to society, he was the very essence of abnormal. Well, he was going to do one thing normally. He listened as the sound got closer, and closer. Then he ran.

"KURT!"

The world exploded into pain, and he blacked out. The last thing he heard was the sound of tires screeching.

* * *

Blaine still wasn't entirely sure what happened. The three of them had just been standing there. It was if Kurt had been waiting for something. Blaine and Finn hadn't known what, until they saw Kurt sprint towards the street. Watching the boy he loved being struck by a car had to have been the most horrifying thing he had ever witnessed in his seventeen years of life.

It was almost like time had slowed down, the way Blaine was able to see Kurt roll onto the hood of the car after the initial impact, then somehow defy gravity by rolling up onto the top of the car before landing with a sickening thud behind the car onto the asphalt street. Then he just laid there, his left arm twisted behind his back in an unnatural position, his legs sprawled out awkwardly, his head slightly turned and his eyes closed.

He was faintly aware of Finn screaming, but neither of them moved. Blaine hesitated, waiting for Kurt to move. To get up and dust himself off, for everything to be okay. But it was crystal clear that wasn't going to happen. He saw Finn run out to his brother, kneeling down and shaking him while screaming his name. He heard the front door of the Hudmel house open, and then saw as Burt and Carole ran over to Finn and Kurt. He saw Burt shaking his son as Carole called 911 on her cell phone.

But Blaine was stuck. He was cemented to this spot, and he felt like he wasn't going to ever going to leave again. He felt condemned to stand here for eternity, wondering what happened, where everything went wrong, and why such a beautiful boy would take his life.

* * *

Finn sat with his head between his legs, hands in his hair as he stared at the tiled floor of the hospital. He could see Burt's work boots pace back and forth, but he couldn't see the man's face from this angle. He didn't think he wanted to. Right now Burt was in a place where rage and sadness merged like powerful waves slamming against each other. Despite Carole's pleas for him to sit and try to relax, Burt was having none of that.

Kurt had been taken from the street by an ambulance to the Lima General in a matter of five minutes. He had stopped breathing in the middle of the ride there, but the medics managed to get his heart started again. Right now, Kurt Hummel was fighting for his life behind surgery doors as his family waited outside. Blaine had come as well, though Finn had to practically drag him away from the spot he was frozen in.

The four waited there for almost three hours before a doctor came out, wearing light blue scrubs and a concerned look on his face. Burt's pacing immediately stopped, Finn raised his head, Carole bit her lip, and Blaine's eyes flickered over to the man holding all of the answers right now. Burt was the first to speak.

"How is he, doc?"

The doctor grimaced slightly. "Kurt had a lot of internal bleeding, a few broken bones, a dislocated shoulder along with a lot of scratches and bruises. We almost lost him, but he's stable for the moment. He won't be conscious for a few hours, but you are all welcome to see him."

Burt gave the doctor a sharp nod, and he looked over to Carole, putting a hand out. He couldn't do this without her, and the woman understood that. She got up and took her husband's hand, squeezing it gently. "Come on, Finn." She said softly, looking over to her son. Finn stood up slowly and started to follow his mom when he remembered Blaine.

Finn looked over and saw that Blaine was now staring at the tile, his face blank. Finn bit his lip, unsure of what to do. "Blaine?"

Blaine looked over and attempted a smile, but it looked like more of a grimace than anything. "You, uh, you guys go ahead. I can wait." He said softly.

Finn sighed softly. He wanted to argue that Blaine should go in there with him, but right now he wasn't going to argue. He wanted to see how Kurt was doing too, so he nodded and followed his parents to Kurt's room.

Blaine watched the trio walk away. So…Kurt was okay. He was physically okay. But that didn't change the fact that Kurt was still broken. Blaine had hurt him so much that Kurt jumped in front of a car. He had inflicted so much pain…so much sadness…

Where had this all gone wrong? He thought that the day he saw Kurt on the staircase at Dalton that everything would change. And it did. For a while, Blaine thought everything was perfect. But Kurt hadn't thought so. Blaine closed his eyes and tried to remember why. Why had Kurt been so broken over everything? He recalled those early conversations, and it didn't take long before Blaine knew what had gone wrong.

_Stop trying so hard. _

_Haven't you noticed we're all wearing uniforms here?_

_Blend in._

_Don't raise your arms._

_Don't tell Rachel about the kiss._

_We gave you a solo because you changed._

_You're different now, because you're the same as the rest of us._

_You aren't Kurt Hummel anymore._

_We accept you now._

He put a hand over his mouth, but that didn't stop the tears from pouring down his cheeks. How long had he been this blind? How could he just stand aside as Kurt was torn apart? No, he didn't stand aside, did he? He was right along with everyone else, tearing Kurt down piece by piece. But he was worse. He was the one who broke Kurt's heart, gladly and with a smile on his face as the beautiful boy was smashed. He had seen the clues. He knew. He knew better than anyone, and yet he had done nothing about it.

Oh my God…

How could he do this? How could he have hurt him this badly? So badly that Kurt couldn't handle it anymore and wanted to take his own life? He was so stupid to not have seen this earlier. God he was so stupid…

"-ne? Blaine?"

He looked over to see Finn standing at his side, rubbing his arm nervously and biting his lip. Blaine quickly wiped his tears and sniffled softly. "How is he?"

Finn shrugged slightly. "He's…alive. He just looks so small in there…" His voice trailed off, and he glanced to the floor before looking back at Blaine. "Burt says I can drive you back to Westerville, but he just wanted to let you have a moment with Kurt…you know, since…you guys are dating."

Blaine blinked, confused for a moment, before he remembered. That's right. He was covering up for Kurt and Dave's relationship. Another blow to Kurt, Blaine was sure.

He stood up slowly, nodding. "Yeah, okay." He whispered, not trusting himself to talk too much without breaking down. He followed Finn to Kurt's room, where Burt and Carole were standing outside. When Blaine passed by, Burt took his shoulder and squeezed it gently. Blaine stopped momentarily and smiled sadly at the man, nodding slightly before walking into the room.

Kurt looked absolutely tiny in the white hospital bed, and if it weren't for his pink lips and dark hair, he would probably disappear into the thing. His left leg was uncovered from the stark white blanket, covered instead by a cast. As was his right arm, resting over his stomach in a cast as well. Wires seemed to be attaching him to a few machines. Blaine recognized one of them as a heart monitor by that ominous beeping, and that only served to scare him further. Kurt was so bad off that they needed to monitor his heart.

There was a clear oxygen mask over his nose and mouth that fogged up with soft, shallow breaths, assuring the world that the boy was still breathing. The hospital gown that he was in was pulled down, so Blaine could see the wires taped to his skin, as well as dark bruises and scratches that covered his skin. He had a particularly bad gash on his forehead that had already bled through the bandage covering it.

This is what Blaine had caused. This is what his carelessness had caused. With Kurt's body the way it was now, Blaine could only imagine his heart. His emotions. All the pain that Blaine had caused him.

He walked over slowly, resting a hand on Kurt's arm cast. He smiled slightly, tears sliding down his cheek. "Hey there." He whispered. He wasn't expecting Kurt to respond, but he had hoped for something. Fluttering of the eyelashes, slight stirring, anything to assure Blaine that Kurt could hear him. That Kurt was still there. But he received nothing.

Blaine let out a soft whimper, leaning down so his forehead was pressed against Kurt's. "I'm so sorry Kurt." He whispered. "I'm….God…I'm an idiot…I'm so sorry…" He reached up his hands and cupped Kurt's soft face, so pale and beautiful, even in this sleep. "Please come back…soon, okay? You have to wake up…please Kurt, please…"

His body trembled, and he closed his eyes tightly. Despite his pleas, Kurt remained the same. Asleep, silent, in pain. All because Blaine couldn't figure himself out. Because he had used Kurt as his personal yo-yo without regard to his feelings. If he could take it all back, he would do so in a heartbeat. But all he could do now was try to stop himself from making the same stupid mistakes again. Right now, however, all that mattered was Kurt.

"…_I know you get me, so I let my walls…come down…"_ He sang in a soft, broken voice. "_Down…"_

"_Let's go all…the way tonight  
No regrets…just…love  
We can dance until we…die  
You…and I….  
We'll be young forever…_

_You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream  
The way you turn me on  
I can't sleep  
Let's run away...and don't ever look back  
Don't ever…look back_

My heart stops, when you look at me  
Just one touch  
Now baby I believe this is real  
Let's take a chance and don't ever look back  
Don't ever…"

Blaine's voice broke away into a sob as he tried to will Kurt's eyes open. He believed horribly in the power of love. The power of love was stronger than any other force. Love had the power to move mountains. He prayed that it had the power to heal a shattered heart, and an equally shattered boy.

Soft crying and the beeping of the heart monitor were the only sounds left in the room.


	25. Chapter 25

I'm a bad person, I know.

I'm so sorry you guys! I haven't updated in forever! I tried making this chapter as long as possible, so there's...that.

Thank you everyone for reading, favoriting and reviewing! Please enjoy the new chapter!

* * *

She had just gotten out of church when she got the text message. She politely excused herself from the other church members she had been talking to and pulled her phone out of her purse. Kurt knew that she had church, so something had to be wrong or there was another ridiculous sale going on that she had to know about right this moment.

Mercedes was dead wrong.

Looking at the screen, she saw it wasn't from Kurt, but Finn. Finn never sent her messages. She was surprised he even had her number. In any case, she opened the message and was almost floored by the words spelled out there on her screen.

'Kurt in hospital, tried to kill himself, get here fast.'

She felt all of the breath knocked out of her by all of this information in so few words. Kurt…Kurt tried to kill himself? That was impossible! Kurt wasn't….he didn't….She put a hand over her mouth and tried to stop the cries so desperately wanting to get out. But she couldn't, not here. She looked around and spotted her mother, and quickly walked over. "Ma, I need to go." She whispered, trying to hold her tears in. Seeing her daughter so upset, Mrs. Jones's eyes widened slightly and she smiled politely and told the churchgoers she had been talking to that she would see them next weekend.

Mercedes allowed her mother to pull her out of the church, and the two of them walked to the car in the parking lot next to the building. "Sweetheart, what's wrong? What happened?" She asked ferverently, cupping Mercedes' face in her smooth hands and looking into her eyes, searching for any kind of answer.

Tears escaped Mercedes' brown eyes and slid down her cheeks, brushing against her mother's hands. "It's Kurt, he…" She choked on her words, not wanting to believe it or say it. Saying it would only make it all the more real.

Hearing Kurt's name, Mrs. Jones's eyes widened. She knew how close her daughter was with the boy. Kurt often went over their home for sleepovers, and he absolutely spoiled them both when he not only cooked dinner and dessert for them, but when he gave them makeovers and helped Mrs. Jones put together outfits for church outings or for work. She adored him as much as Mercedes did, and she was sure that whatever Mercedes was trying to tell her wasn't good.

"He tried…killing himself, ma. He did, oh my God, he did." Mercedes gasped, clinging to her mother and letting out heartbreaking sobs. Mrs. Jones held her daughter tightly as she felt her own heart clench. Kurt? Suicide? But why?

"Oh my God, baby, oh my God…it…it's going to be okay, alright? Let's go, okay? Let's go see him."

Mercedes nodded, but made no move towards the car. "He's in t-the hospital." She said through her tears, trying to catch her breath. Mrs. Jones nodded and helped her daughter into their car before rushing into the driver's seat and taking off to Lima General. She concentrated hard on the road, making sure not to rush and cause an accident. To her relief, their church wasn't too far from the hospital.

Mercedes' sobs had died down a little before they arrived, and she made sure to wipe her eyes and blow her nose before getting out of the car. She didn't want to upset Mr. Hummel more than he probably already was. She followed her mother into the Emergency Unit, where her eyes filled with tears when she saw Burt, Carole and Finn sitting in the waiting room. She ran over to them and threw her arms around Burt first. The man wrapped his arms around her and let out a shaky sigh.

"Hey there, Mercedes." He mumbled, and Mercedes could tell by his low voice that he had been crying. She pulled away slightly and tried smiling, but it faltered easily.

"How is he?"

Burt sighed softly. "The doctor says he's stable. They're going to move him to Intensive Care until he wakes up."

Mercedes' eyes widened. "He hasn't woken up?"

She felt her heart plummet when Burt shook his head. He looked over and smiled sadly at Mrs. Jones. "Hey there."

Mercedes walked over to Finn and hugged him, allowing her mother to hug Burt and Carole and offer her sympathy. Finn gave her a one-armed hug, and Mercedes sat next to him.

"Finn…what happened?"

Finn bit his lip and bowed his head, running his hands through his short hair before looking over to her. "It was real scary. He was just standing there, and then he ran, and there was a car…" He shook his head and looked away again, trying to contain his tears. "He just ran in front of it…he just ran…"

As Finn's voice slowly started to shake, Mercedes put a hand on his shoulder and rubbed small circles on it. "But why, Finn? Kurt would never do something like this. No matter what."

Finn chewed on his lip as his eyes roved over the tiled floor, as if he was looking for the answer himself. "Well, you know he was having trouble with Blaine." He mumbled, glancing over to Burt and Carole, who were talking softly with Mrs. Jones now. "But…I don't really know what happened, but he was on a date with Dave and-"

"Whoa, hold up." Mercedes said quickly, her eyebrows raised. "Dave? Dave who?"

Finn looked over, his face a little pale. "Kurt didn't tell you?"

"No, what?"

"He slept with Dave Karofsky."

Mercedes wondered if her heart had ever beaten this fast before. Her eyes widened and her hand dropped from Finn's shoulder. Karofsky? Kurt was on a date with Karofsky? He lost his virginity to Karofsky? Karfosky was gay? Why hadn't Kurt told her? How long had this been going on? She tried saying something, but it was lost in confused and short sputters of vowels.

"…wow."

"I know. I couldn't believe it either."

She glanced over to their parents, then looked back to Finn. "Does Burt know?" She whispered.

Finn shook his head quickly. "No, and we can't tell him. Kurt didn't want to tell him. Because of his heart and stuff."

Mercedes nodded slowly and let out a deep sigh. Today was just too full of surprises. "So..okay, Kurt was out with Dave…" That was just so weird to say out loud. She wasn't sure whether to feel happy that Kurt had been out on a date or want to kill Dave.

Finn nodded. "Right, and so I guess Blaine got jealous-"

"Wait, Blaine got jealous?" She groaned and rubbed her temple with her fingertips. She told Blaine that she would talk to Kurt for him, and she had, but all Kurt said was that he needed to think. That wasn't a signal for Blaine to start doing whatever he felt was right. That was a signal for 'hold your horses and let's see what happens'. "So what did he do?"

"I guess he kind of…sang to Kurt…in front of Dave, and at Breadstix."

Mercedes winced. That had to be all kinds of embarrassing. Not only for Kurt, but for Dave as well. Especially if he wasn't out of the closet yet, and by the way he had treated Kurt in McKinley, she was sure he wasn't. She sighed softly and closed her eyes. If all this rage, sadness and anger swelling up inside of her was any indication of what Kurt had felt, she could understand his desperation. Although she would have opted to throw Blaine under a car instead of Kurt.

In any case, suicide was most definitely not the answer. Kurt knew that people cared about him and loved him. Why had he done something so stupid? He could have at least called her. She would have been there for him in a heartbeat. A wave of guilt washed over her as she realized that the text messages between them had been few and far between. She knew he had been feeling sad and confused about everything lately, and she should have seen this coming. They were best friends. How could she not have seen this?

She was brought from her thoughts by Finn rubbing small circles on her back, and she smiled gratefully to him. Finn smiled back. "Want to see him?"

Mercedes nodded slowly. She wasn't sure how bad he would look, but she wasn't about to let fear get between their friendship. Kurt meant far too much to her for that to happen.

Finn stood up and waited for Mercedes, whose legs had suddenly felt like lead, before walking off. The adults glanced over, and Burt smiled a little at Mercedes. He knew how close she and Kurt were, and was thankful for her being there. Maybe she could get some sense out of all of this.

Mercedes followed Finn down a hallway, past a nurse station, then waited behind him as he knocked gently on an open doorway. "Hey, Mercedes is here."

Mercedes raised an eyebrow. If Kurt wasn't awake, then why was Finn talking to him? Her question was answered when Finn walked in and she followed him inside to find Blaine at Kurt's bedside, gripping the countertenor's hand. Blaine's eyes slowly widened, and Mercedes' eyes narrowed.

"Uh…h-hi Mercedes." Blaine said, flinching when the girl came into view. Mercedes did feel a little bad for scaring him. The Warbler's cheeks were stained with tears and his eyes were rimmed in light pink. He looked so miserable. Like he should, Mercedes thought. He's partly to blame for all of this.

"Hey." She mumbled, looking over Kurt's small frame. He was so pale, so broken. Mercedes felt the tears burning in her eyes again but she didn't want to cry. She had to be strong for Kurt. So she forced a smile and went over to his other side, his Blaine-free side, and took his hand and stroked it slowly. "Hey boo." She said softly, watching the oxygen mask over his face fog up every time he exhaled. That was comforting in a way. At least he was still breathing. He was still there with them.

But as she continued to take him in, as she took in every scratch, every bruise, every cast, every wire, the tears got harder and harder to blink away. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve to feel like death was the only option for him. He deserved happiness…not a hospital bed. She felt his cold hand, limp in her own, and she felt her heart breaking even more.

Every beep of the heart monitor machine seemed to take an eternity, and Mercedes found herself holding her breath every time it seemed to stop. Just when she thought it was the end, the next beep would sound and she would let out a soft sigh. She couldn't do this. She couldn't be here with Kurt like this. Kurt wasn't as quiet or as still as this. Kurt smiled all the time. Kurt exchanged annoyed looks with her when Rachel opened her mouth. They both squealed when a new line of spring fashion was released. They sang and danced along when they listened to music. Kurt wasn't still. He was never still. This wasn't Kurt.

"Kurt." She said, her voice threatening to break. "You have to wake up, okay? What am I supposed to do when the Betsey Johnson Spring Runway show comes on?" She asked, smiling through her tears. "You have to help me choose what jewelry goes with which bag, then you have to convince my mom that I need another bag. And Finn's homework isn't going to do itself. Rachel's clothes won't make fun of themselves…and your dad…." Her voice broke and she bowed her head, her forehead touching the cool sheets on the hospital bed. "Your dad would die without you…."

Her sobs filled the room, and soon Blaine's strangled crying mingled with them. Kurt didn't hear anything. He simply laid there, eyes clothes, soft breathing filling the room, gone to the world.

* * *

Through some very strong convincing arguments that involved threatening to rearrange the doctor's face, Burt managed to stay after visiting hours were over. Carole, Mrs. Jones, Finn and Mercedes all went out for dinner to get their minds off of this horrific event, though it took a lot of prying to get Mercedes to let go of Kurt. "He needs rest. I promise I'll call you if anything happens." Burt told her, squeezing her shoulder gently. Mercedes watched Kurt for a moment more, as if watching him would make him wake up faster. But when he stayed the same, she nodded slowly. "Okay..." She leaned over and kissed his forehead, whispered for him to please get better soon, then left.

Burt looked over to Blaine, who was sitting in the same hunched over position he had been all afternoon, and sighed a little. "I'll drive you home, kid."

Blaine looked over, his eyes wide, and he shook his head quickly. "N-No. Please let me stay. I don't want to leave him."

Burt shook his head. "You have school tomorrow, and your parents-"

"My parents are fine with it." Blaine lied quickly. "I called them earlier."

"Kid, you haven't left this room all day."

Blaine was quiet, looking back to Kurt and gripping his hand a little more. "…please let me stay. I can't…can't leave him." Tears formed in his eyes again. The thought of being away from Kurt, now that he was in such a fragile state, would kill Blaine. What if something happened and he was stuck in Westerville? What if he missed an important call from Burt or Finn because of class or rehearsal? He would never forgive himself if he left Kurt in his dire time of need. Especially because it was all his fault.

Blaine looked back over to Burt, and Burt saw the desperation in the kid's eyes. He knew Blaine was really important to Kurt, and he had to be even more so now that they were dating. And if Kurt did happen to wake up and Blaine wasn't there, Burt would never hear the end of it. Burt smiled a little at the thought of Kurt yelling at him for being mean to Blaine.

Burt sighed softly, taking his cap off and rubbing his head slowly. "Alright. Just make sure you let someone know you're here. If you need to go home, I can take you no problem."

Blaine nodded quickly. "Thank you."

Burt nodded slightly, looking back to his son. He looked so small, just lying there, all broken up. His heart ached. Why would Kurt want to do this to himself? What happened? Burt knew that something had happened when Kurt stopped dressing in his usually fashion-forward outfits, but Burt didn't know how bad it was. Once Kurt woke up, Burt was going to get some answers. Kurt wasn't going to keep him in the dark anymore. Burt was going to fix this.

"You want some coffee or anything, kid?" He asked.

Blaine glanced over, and Burt thought he saw a hint of a smile, but it faded away quickly and Blaine nodded. "A medium drip, please."

Burt nodded and stopped slightly, glancing back to his son once more. "…take care of him for me." He said softly. A cold chill ran down Blaine's spine as he heard this, then heard the footsteps fade away from the room.

Blaine watched the boy, almost motionless in the bed. His hand gripped Kurt's limp hand gently. "_The touch of fingertips is as sexy as it gets."_ Blaine recalled Kurt telling him once. Except now, it was anything but. Now, Blaine was just trying to anchor Kurt to earth, trying to keep him here, alive.

"Don't worry." He mumbled, squeezing Kurt's hand gently. "I'll take care of you, Kurt. Even if that means letting you go. Even if it means letting Dave have you." He smiled bitterly, and he leaned down to whisper in Kurt's ear, "If you wake up, swear I'll make Wes and David give you all the solos." He chuckled softly at the horrid joke, then pressed his lips tenderly to kiss the curve of Kurt's ear.

"I'll let you out of the cage I put you in." He said soberly. "Just…please wake up."

He pulled back and watched Kurt. He didn't wake up. His eyes didn't flutter. He didn't miraculously get better in the span of five seconds. He just laid there, a heart monitor keeping track of his beating heart.

Blaine shut his eyes tightly. He bowed his head and sighed softly. Why was he such an idiot? Why did he have to be a blind jerk? Why couldn't he have just given Kurt what he wanted when Kurt admitted his feelings for him? Why did he have to keep jerking Kurt around? Why did he kiss him and then tell him not to tell Rachel? Why did he tell Kurt to blend in? Why did he try to change Kurt?

He flinched when he heard footsteps, and turned around slightly, expecting Burt to be there with the coffee. Instead, he found himself locking eyes with Dave Karofsky, who had stopped dead in his tracks in the doorway at the sight of Blaine. The football player had a strap across his chest, and when Blaine tilted his head slightly to the side, he could see the neck of a guitar peeking over Dave's shoulder. Neither boy said anything for a long moment. Dave's eyes flickered over Blaine and Kurt's hands together, and Blaine saw a flash of anger dance across his features. Both boys opened their mouths at the same time.

"What the hell are you doing here?"


	26. Chapter 26

I am a bad person. I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT! It's May so everyone is crunching down for final exams. Still, I've been meaning to post this for a week. I'm so sorry! Thank you to everyone for your patience, and thank you for reading, favoriting and reviewing!

A special thank you to my followers on tumblr for keeping on me to write this!

* * *

Even with the high-pitched beeping of the heart monitor filling the air, the room was stuffed with tension emitted from the two boys. Blaine's very spine curved slightly inward and his shoulders hunched, ready to defend himself from any blow that may come his way. Dave's hands clenched into fists, however he made no move forward, nor to strike Blaine. They dug their heels a little into their shoes, bracing for anything that may have come at them. Other than these small adjustments, neither made a move forward.

"What are you doing here?" Blaine asked again, this time through clenched teeth, breaking the suffocating silence. "You ditched Kurt. What gives you the right-"

"Don't give me that crap. You're no better than I am." Dave snapped, and Blaine went quiet. Dave was right. Blaine wasn't any better than Dave. Especially not right now. They were both quiet again, their eyes deadlocked on one another. Still, neither moved.

Blaine's heart was beating rapidly in his chest. He wanted to spend time with Kurt right now. It was the least he could do, but he knew that Dave deserved some time with Kurt as well. After all that happened between all of them, Blaine wasn't sure Kurt would want to be with either of them if he were conscious enough to decide.

"Just…"

Blaine's eyes flickered, and he watched as Dave broke the gaze they had been holding. The football player licked his lips nervously and looked down at the tiled floor. "Just give me a few minutes with him, okay?"

The Warbler thought for a moment before nodding slightly. Fine. Let Dave have his moment. Blaine had been here all day already, saying what he needed to. Dave needed to say his piece as well, as much as Blaine hated to admit it. He walked, stopping shot of passing Dave up, and put his hand on his shoulder. "Take care of him." He said softly. "I'm not giving up, though."

Dave looked over at Blaine, and for a second, Blaine thought Dave was going to pound his face in or something. But Dave simply nodded, then took a step away from Blaine's touch. "He'll probably choose you anyway." Dave mumbled.

Blaine had to smile a little at that. "Who knows, he might surprise us. Kurt isn't one to be predictable. But whoever he chooses, I'm always going to be there for him."

Dave looked to the bed, and Blaine walked outside to the waiting room. Finn had appeared again, sitting there in one of the chairs. He was hunched over, his elbows resting on his knees and his face in his hands. He looked like such a big kid. When Blaine sat next to him, Finn looked over, not moving. "How's he doing?"

Blaine shrugged slightly, sighing. "About the same." He said softly, rubbing the side of his face. He felt like he had been up for days. "I thought you went out with Mercedes and your mom."

Finn nodded, sitting up a bit. "Yeah, we did, but I wanted to come back. The house doesn't feel right without Kurt. It's kind of like when he transferred. It just felt…" He shrugged, unable to find the right word. Blaine watched as the tall teenager bit chewed in his bottom lip, his worry becoming more and more evident by the second.

"We can't lose him, Blaine." Finn mumbled softly, wringing his hands slowly. "I just…Burt would die, and I don't…I know I was a jerk to him last year, but he's my brother. I promised to protect him, and I couldn't before, and I failed again. First with Karofsky and then now-"

"Whoa, Finn." Blaine interrupted, looking at the quarterback with wide eyes. Finn turned to look at him. "What?"

"None of this is your fault." Blaine said softly. "You had nothing to do with this. It was purely between Kurt and me. I'm the one who started all of this."

Finn bit his lip. "Well, yeah with the whole Rachel thing but-"

"Finn, you didn't do anything wrong." Blaine assured. "The past is the past. This is my mistakes that have caused this. From what I see, you're the best big brother there is."

Finn smiled a little, but it faded almost as quickly as it had come. "Blaine, can I ask you something?"

Blaine nodded. "Of course."

Finn looked away from the Warbler, rubbing his knees a little nervously. Blaine raised an eyebrow as he watched Finn squirm in his seat, fidgeting as he tried to put into words what he was thinking.

"Finn, are you okay?"

Finn nodded, biting his lip.

As he watched Finn struggle with his words, Blaine was afraid he knew where this was going. "Finn, Kurt told me that you've dated a couple of girls, but I have to ask, you aren't going to tell me you're in love with me or anything, are you?"

Finn almost broke his neck at the speed he looked over to Blaine with wide eyes. "What? No, dude, you're a dude!"

Blaine had to laugh at this. "I was just asking! You seemed nervous about something."

Finn groaned and rubbed his eyes with the back of his wrist. "No dude, I was just…" He let out a soft sigh. "Kurt talked to me about you. Well, about everything, kinda. And I just wasn't sure if Kurt would be okay with me telling you about it, because…well, you know Kurt."

Blaine nodded, intrigued that Kurt had talked to Finn (of all people) about him. "Well, it's up to you. I won't force it out of you."

Finn nodded slightly, chewing his lip in thought for a minute more, before letting out a resigned sigh. "He really likes you, Blaine. I don't know if that's changed because of everything, but he told me himself. He told me that you're his best friend, and you let him be himself around you. He felt safe around you, and he just…he really likes you. He was real hurt when you kissed Rachel, because he thought you were the one."

Blaine sat there next to Finn, speechless. He felt his heart break a little more with each revelation. They certainly weren't anything new. Blaine knew how Kurt felt, but he didn't know to what extent. Kurt had felt safe around Blaine, and that's all Blaine had ever wanted. He wanted to keep Kurt safe in the walls of Dalton. Behind those walls, Kurt would be free to be himself. He would be away from all the people that told him not to be himself, or that he was wrong in being who he was or doing what he did.

But behind those walls, Blaine did the same exact thing that he had wanted to protect Kurt from. He had put Kurt down time after time. He had shut Kurt down to the point that Kurt didn't want to be himself anymore. He wanted to be whatever would keep him from this pain. That person who had kissed Brittany, the person who wore paint-spattered clothes, the one who gave away their clothes…that wasn't Kurt.

_Clothes._

Finn flinched as Blaine shot out of the chair. "Blaine?"

"Finn, I'll be back later." He said, pulling his cell phone out and dialing a phone number he knew all too well. Before he pressed the call button, he looked over to Finn. "Hey."

Finn blinked. "What?"

"Did you…find Dave?"

Finn nodded, grinning a little, pleased with himself. "Yeah, I thought Kurt might want to see him."

Blaine smiled softly. Finn was definitely the best big brother ever. "Where did you find him?"

"The locker room."

Blaine tilted his head slightly, and Finn saw the question on his face before he could ask it. "Having Puck as a best friend pays off sometimes." He said, and Blaine chuckled. He took a couple of steps forward before Finn's voice stopped him.

"Blaine?"

He looked back. "What is it?"

"Where y' going?"

Blaine smiled softly. "I'm going to try and fix this."

* * *

Dave had been sitting at Kurt's bedside for a while now, but it felt like years. Every time Dave blinked, he expected Kurt to wake up and start yelling at him or something. But Kurt just lay there, deep asleep, his breathing soft and his heart sending a beep every time it beat throughout the room.

The fact that Kurt tried to kill himself was dizzying to Dave. This was, after all, the same boy who used to saunter down McKinley hallways with his head up high and a skirt around his waist. The same kid who took a slushie to the face every day. The same Kurt who pulled himself out of a dumpster every morning. How could such a strong person who endured all of that, want to kill themselves now?

But this Kurt was different in more ways than just this. Kurt would never have resorted to killing himself or drinking at McKinley. Kurt would have worn something more flamboyant than some sweater and a shirt. Dave saw a glimpse of the old Kurt when he had stopped Blaine from singing at Breadstix with a solo of his own, but he hadn't stayed long enough to see the outcome. He didn't doubt that Blaine got an earful from Kurt, and Dave had to smile a bit at that. He had gotten his own share of yelling from Kurt, so he knew.

Dave reached a hand forward and took one of Kurt's hands, squeezing it gently. "Hey." He mumbled softly, looking up at Kurt's face and hoping that Kurt might have opened his eyes at that. But he didn't, and Dave sighed. It was stupid to think that just the touch of a hand would wake someone up from a coma. That crap only happened in movies.

He cleared his throat quietly. "I'm…'m really sorry about running away like that. I didn't…I just couldn't handle it. I can't stand when people look at me. I just felt like they were judging me, because it was like they knew. With Blaine singing to you like that, I felt like they knew, and…"

He used a free hand to wipe his eyes, stopping any tears from escaping. "I'm not…I'm not brave like you, Kurt. I can't come out. It's just…it's too scary. What if the football team found out? What if Azimio found out? You think he'd be as understanding as your friends are?" He scoffed softly. "There's no way. I wouldn't last two days at McKinley if people found out. I thought I could, because I love you. I really do, but I can't come out. I just…" His breathing hitched, and he squeezed his eyes closed. "I can't do it, Kurt. I'm sorry."

For the first time since he had step foot into that room, Dave was grateful that Kurt hadn't woken up right then. He let the tears flow down his cheeks, and he choked on a sob. He really wanted to come out. He knew that if he did, all of this pent-up anger and frustration would disappear. He wouldn't have to hide anymore. But he couldn't risk it. He saw what happened to Kurt. Hell, he was the reason Kurt was bullied so bad. Dave could never handle that life.

He pulled away from Kurt and wiped his face off with the sleeve of his jacket, sniffling softly. "I know you said you never heard me sing, so I just…I wanted to sing something for you before I go." He said softly, pulling his guitar into his arms. "I know you said you liked Lady Gaga, so…" He strummed the guitar softly, watching Kurt with soft eyes.

_In your brown eyes I walked away  
In your brown eyes I couldn't stay  
In your brown eyes you'll watch her go  
Then turn the record on and wonder what went wrong  
What went wrong_

Dave was sorry that he wasn't strong enough. He wanted to be. He wanted to be that guy who Kurt could depend on no matter what. But he couldn't. He wasn't that guy. Not yet, at least.

_If everything was everything but everything is over_  
_Everything could be everything if only we were older_  
_I guess it's just a silly song about you_  
_And how I lost you and your brown eyes_

Kurt didn't deserve anyone less than what he was. Kurt was strong and courageous. He was different, and he was proud to be different. Dave wasn't quite there yet. Maybe one day he could be. Maybe he would go to pride parades hand-in-hand with someone he loved. Maybe it would be with Kurt. But that wasn't now. That wasn't today.  
_  
In your brown eyes I was feeling low  
'Cause they're brown eyes and you never know  
Got some brown eyes but I saw her face  
I knew that it was wrong  
So baby, turn the record on, play that song_

As he played, his voice slowly got stronger. He had never sung for anyone else before, but Kurt deserved something like this. He deserved all of the love songs in the world. This wasn't exactly a love song, but Dave thought it was right for now. 

_Where everything was everything but everything is over_  
_Everything could be everything if only we were older_  
_I guess it's just a silly song about you_  
_And how I lost you and your brown eyes, brown eyes_

_Everything was everything but baby, it's the last show_  
_Everything could be everything but it's time to say goodbye, so_  
_Get your last fix and your last hit_  
_Grab your old girl with her new tricks_  
_Honey yeah, it's no surprise that I got lost in your brown eyes_

_In your brown eyes, brown, brown eyes_  
_Your brown eyes, brown, brown eyes_  
_Got some brown eyes, brown, brown eyes_  
_Your brown eyes_

Dave let the final strum of the guitar strings echo throughout the room, and for a moment it was like the music had drowned out the horrid beeping of the heart monitor. He stood up slowly and slung the guitar on his back again. He leaned over and cupped Kurt's cheek, watching him for a moment longer.

Kurt really was beautiful.

Dave wanted to say something more. Something romantic, something profound. Something to remember this last moment with Kurt. But he couldn't think of anything. Instead, he pressed their foreheads together and closed his eyes. Kurt would always be his first everything.

He kissed Kurt's cheek and slowly pulled away, glancing back only once before walking out the door. He didn't notice Burt Hummel standing near the door, having listened to everything that Dave said, two cups of coffee in his hands and a stunned expression on his face.


	27. Chapter 27

I AM SO SORRY!

Finals week and...RGH. School's almost over so updates will be more frequent, promise! Thank you to everyone for reading, favoriting and reviewing! Please enjoy!

* * *

He was on a stage.

Looking around the darkened theatre, he could see shadows of audience members. It was hard to see who was watching him exactly because of the bright stage lights illuminating him, but he could tell there were people there. As he stood there, he noticed that his mouth was moving. He was singing, but it didn't feel like he was. But as he became more aware of his surroundings, he could hear himself.

So he was performing then. But that was odd. Glancing around to the side wings of the stage, he saw the old navy curtains there. He was in McKinley's auditorium. But why? Why was he performing at McKinley, alone? He didn't even attend this school anymore. Why was he here?

_It's time to feel the rush  
To push the dangerous  
I'm gonna run back to, to the edge with you_

_Where we can both fall o'er in love_

He didn't recognize this song, but somehow he knew the lyrics? It was odd, but he was thankful that he hadn't forgotten the words in front of a crowd. Suddenly he heard a soft sound, and he glanced around. Chirping?

_I'm on the edge of glory  
And I'm hanging on a moment of truth  
Out on the edge of glory  
And I'm__hanging on a moment__with you_

He saw it out of the corner of his eye, something coming straight for him from seemingly out of thin air. He ducked as something flew past him. Looking around, he saw a bright yellow bird flapping its wings frantically. Pavarotti? He tried calling out to the bird, but he was stuck singing this song. He couldn't stop himself to say anything else.

_I'm on the edge  
The edge, the edge  
The edge, the edge  
The edge  
I'm on the edge of glory  
And I'm hanging on a moment with you_

He ducked again as Pavarotti swooped down again. What in the world was going on? How did Pavarotti get here, and why was he attacking Kurt? Why couldn't he stop singing?

He stumbled and fell over as Pavarotti flew directly into the side of his head so quickly that he couldn't dodge it this time. It felt like a barbell had been thrown at him. That was no normal bird. Kurt was hit again as Pavarotti clipped his shoulder. It was like a boulder slamming into him. He fell onto his side, unable to catch himself in time.

_Another shot, before we kiss the other side  
Tonight, yeah baby  
Tonight yeah baby_

A flutter of wings was suddenly in his face, and Kurt waved his hands frantically to try and push Pavarotti away. He was starting to get very scared. What was wrong with Pavarotti? Why was he acting like this? Kurt's stomach flipped when he felt the bird's beak peck at his eyes. He wanted to scream. Why wasn't anyone helping him?

_I'm on the edge of something final we call life  
Alright, alright  
Put on your shades 'cause I'll be dancing in the flames  
Tonight, yeah baby  
Tonight, yeah baby_

Kurt rolled onto his stomach, trying to shove Pavarotti away, but it was like he was a ghost. His hands went right through the bird. He was helpless as the bird pecked away at his eyes. Kurt could feel the warm blood trickling down his cheeks.

_It isn't Hell if everybody knows my name  
Tonight, alright, alright  
It's time to feel the rush  
To push the dangerous  
I'm gonna run back to, to the edge with you  
Where we can both fall o'er in love_

He couldn't see anymore. The blood was pouring from him now. He felt faint. Pavarotti, satisfied with his work, had flown away. Kurt could hear the flutter of his wings fading away. He sat up and felt the stage floor with his hands. He reached out blindly, wanting to call for help badly. But all he could do was sing this blasted song.

_I'm on the edge of glory  
And I'm hanging on a moment of truth  
Out of the edge of glory  
And I'm hanging on a moment with you  
I'm on the edge_

He was dizzy and disoriented. No one was helping him, even after what they had just witnessed. They just sat there. What could he do?

_The edge, the edge  
The edge, the edge  
The edge  
I'm on the edge of glory  
And I'm hanging on a moment with you_

He started to get tired. The blood loss was taking its toll on him. He laid down on his side. He could feel himself dying, and in those final moments, he heard the thunderous applause of the audience.  
_  
I'm on the edge with you_

* * *

"…Kurt?"

Kurt had been flinching in his sleep since that Karofsky boy left. His shoulder twitched, like he was trying to brush something away. His eyebrows knit together in a sort of painful expression. His breaths were soft and short, the oxygen mask barely fogging up. Burt was starting to get a little worried. What did that mean?

Burt took his son's uninjured hand, squeezing it gently. "Son, you okay?...It's alright." He whispered, pressing the cold hand of his son against his warm cheek. It was a small, almost pointless gesture, but he wanted to show Kurt that he was here. No matter where Kurt went, Burt would always be right there for him. "I've got you. I'm right here. Whenever you're ready, you wake up, okay?"

He watched as Kurt slowly fell back into a deep sleep. He was thankful for whatever miracle just happened. It was like Kurt had heard him. Kurt's face relaxed and he looked…more at peace now. Burt sighed softly, kissing Kurt's hand before setting it back down on the bed. Burt glanced back to the open doorway and saw the nurses walking around outside. He was waiting for that Karofsky kid to come back. That was so odd. Burt saw the guitar on his back. Had he come to play for Kurt?

That didn't seem right. The last time Burt saw him was the day that he had been expelled for threatening to kill Kurt. What had changed?

Burt's heart leapt when he heard a soft knock in the doorway. He looked back, expecting to see Karofsky standing there. Instead it was Finn who was peeking his head in, looking between tired and nervous. "Hey."

Burt smiled a little. "Hey, come in."

Finn walked in slowly, smiling a little at Burt, then looking down at Kurt. The smile faded, and Finn sighed softly. "He looks really small."

Burt nodded, looking back to his son now. "Yeah…but he's always been a tiny kid." He smiled a little. "Except when he's in those boots of his."

Finn chuckled softly, nodding. Those Doc Martens. Finn knew the name of those because Kurt always scolded him when he accidently called them doctor boots. Remembering that, Finn suddenly missed Kurt all the more.

"Hey Burt?"

"Yeah?"

"You think Kurt'll be okay after this?"

Burt glanced at Finn, then looked back to Kurt. His boy was so beat up, so broken…Burt had been wondering that himself all of these long hours. Finn watched Burt, his hope fading a little as the man was hesitant to answer him. Burt couldn't give up. If Burt gave up, if the man who loved Kurt more than anything in this world gave up, then Finn would have to give up too.

Finn was about to repeat the question, when Burt started to nod slowly. "Yeah, Finn. I think I…I _know_ he'll be okay. He's a tough kid. He's already been through so much. Kurt's never really been one to stay down when people push him around."

Finn nodded, feeling a twinge of guilt. Yeah, he knew about that first-hand. Kurt always pulled himself out of the trash can last year. He always just wiped himself clean of a fresh slushie, changed his clothes and went on with life. Whenever they were too rough with him and he stumbled and fell against some lockers, he would dust himself off and go on. Kurt was always picking himself up, because he was strong. But all of this had been too much for him. This tug of war with his heart…

"Hey, Finn?"

Finn looked up from Kurt's sleeping form to Burt, who was looking at him with a serious expression on his face. Finn raised his eyebrows, wondering what had changed so quickly. "Uh, yeah?"

"You know that, uh, Karofsky kid?"

Finn's heart leapt to his throat. Uh-oh. "…yeah?"

Burt cleared his throat a little, raising a hand to take his cap off and rub his bald scalp. "He was here, not too long ago. Had a guitar with him. He was talkin' to Kurt and played a song for him."

Finn bit his bottom lip, trying to look as innocent and clueless as he could.

"You know anything about that?"

Finn's shoulders automatically twitched in a quick shrug. But he didn't want to lie to Burt, especially with Kurt the way he was. "I don't…It's really not my place to say." He opted to say instead.

Burt adjusted his cap back on his head. "Finn, please just tell me the truth." He felt tears burning in his eyes, but he held them back. "My kid's lyin' here half-dead, and I feel like I have no idea what's going on anymore. This isn't like Kurt. He wouldn't do something like this."

Finn glanced to Kurt's sleeping form guiltily. He promised Kurt he wouldn't say anything, but this was an entirely different situation. He never thought Kurt would just throw himself in front of a car like that. This was different. Finally, he nodded. "Y-Yeah, I know about it. I brought him here."

Burt looked angry for a split second, and Finn started to panic internally. Burt took a deep breath and clenched his eyes shut, before relaxing and letting out a sigh. "Why, Finn?"

Finn swallowed the lump of fear in his throat and shifted on his feet. "Well…this all started when Blaine kissed Rachel."

"Maybe I should sit down." Burt mumbled, grazing a hand absently over his chest. _Crap,_ Finn remembered, _his heart_. Finn moved over and pulled a chair close to Kurt's bedside. "Yeah, yeah, sorry." He mumbled. Kurt was going to kill him when he woke up, but Burt was right. He needed to know what was going on.

Burt settled down in the chair with a heavy sigh. He glanced over to his son and reached over to take his uninjured hand before looking back up to Finn. "Alright, Blaine kissed Rachel." He said, a bit strained.

Finn nodded. "Right, and so Kurt got all mad, because he told Blaine before how he felt about him. So that's why he kinda started changing his clothes and stuff. He didn't…he didn't want to feel hurt anymore, and he thought by changing himself, he could change what mattered…to…him…" Finn scratched his head. He knew what he and Kurt had talked about the other day, when Kurt poured his heart and soul out to his brother. It was just hard to put into words. For Finn, at least.

"But he couldn't keep it up for long because he really liked who he was, but he still liked Blaine…and Blaine liked Rachel. So then…" He bit his lip. This was going to be so painful for Burt to hear. He really, really didn't want to tell this part. As a split-second decision, Finn decided to skim the details of Kurt losing his virginity while drunk at a club to his former bully as, "Then Dave apologized to Kurt for what he did when Kurt went out with Blaine and some of the girls from glee club, and…well, they…started…dating…"

Finn raised his head and saw that Burt was staring at him skeptically. The man's arms were crossed and an eyebrow was slightly raised. Finn shuffled his feet a little, glancing to the floor before looking back up.

"…They started dating."

"Y-Yeah."

"Just like that."

"Yep."

"Finn you're a crappy liar."

Finn blushed, and Burt sighed. "But I shouldn't put it all on you. I should talk to Kurt about this when he wakes up."

Finn let out a relieved sigh. "Thanks Burt."

Burt smiled a little. "Nah, thank you."

Finn blinked. "For what?"

"For proving what a good brother you are."

Finn blushed a little at that, and he grinned. "Really?"

Burt nodded. "Really."

As weird as it sounded, Finn was relieved to hear that. He was always worried about not looking out for Kurt. Especially after everything that happened. He felt like he owed Kurt so much for not being there before, for being a jerk before. He guessed that he, Blaine and Dave had more in common than he thought.

Where were they anyway?


	28. Chapter 28

FINALLY! YAAY AN UPDATE! I am really sorry you guys, it's just been really hectic. But I'm finally updating, and progress has been made! Yay! Thank you all for your patience and kind messages and reviews, and thank you for sticking with me throughout this long story.

But it ain't over yet!

Thank you for reading, favoriting, and reviewing! Please enjoy!

* * *

They were all on their toes for the past week. Burt was getting more and more nervous as each day passed and there was no sign of Kurt even stirring. Carole tried getting him to go home, just relax for a few hours, take a nap or go out to eat really quickly, but Burt wasn't having it. He knew that the longer Kurt stayed unconscious, the less of a chance he had at ever waking up again. Burt didn't think he could handle losing his son. Not like this. Not now. Not with so many things unsaid.

So Burt stayed there, his hand desperately clinging to Kurt's, eyes set on his son, waiting for the moment that he would wake up. Carole, Finn, and the kids from the glee club were in and out all hours of the day. Carole came at the crack of dawn, and Burt was alone for a while when she left for work. Then Finn, and often Mercedes, Rachel, and some other members of the glee club would pass by after school. They all spoke to Kurt softly, telling him to please wake up soon, they missed him, and glee wasn't the same without him.

Then visiting hours would be over and the kids would trickle out. Carole would come by after work with dinner, sometimes take-out, or if she had time, a homemade meal. She, Finn and Burt would eat sitting up in a hospital chair, their plates in their laps and drinks huddled together on the small table on wheels next to Kurt's bed. They would make small talk about school and work, and Burt would say little to nothing.

After dinner, Carole would gather up the plates and utensils and kiss Burt's cheek before heading out back home. Burt would watch the television mounted up across from Kurt's bed, uninterested and continually glancing at his son just in case he woke up between the ten and eleven o'clock news, which never seemed to be the case. Eventually Burt would turn the television off, not having absorbed anything the box had played, and he would hold Kurt's hand and watch him until his eyes drooped closed and he fell asleep in his chair next to the bed.

At home, Finn could barely stand it. He hated going up the street now, knowing that just right in front of the house is where it happened. Whenever he was walking up to the house from the driveway and he heard a car, he flinched and waited for the sickening sound of a body hitting the asphalt. It never came, but he would never forget it.

Whenever Finn walked up the stairs, he glanced into Kurt's room through the slightly open door, expecting to see Kurt sitting at his vanity or sitting on his bed, legs crossed with his homework in front of him, his face in deep thought, his eyebrows slightly scrunched up, his lips sort of puckered as if the answer was right there on the tip of his tongue. But those were just memories now, and whenever Finn lingered in the doorway too long, he got scared. What if that's all they were now? Memories? What if Kurt never woke up and left his ghost in their hearts like this?

Finn always had to pull himself away and into his own room, shutting the door tightly. He tried losing himself in his video games, and even tried doing his own homework for once. But even that brought back memories of Kurt patiently walking him through a math problem, or helping him pronounce a word or phrase in Spanish, or that no, cucumbers don't have STDs, and he would give up and settle for lying on his bed.

He would close his eyes and try to forget about everything, but it would all just come back and run through his mind. All the times Kurt got shoved into lockers at school, all the times Kurt would get slushied and have to go through the day with stained clothes, all the times he and Puck tossed Kurt into a dumpster, the time he called all of Kurt's things 'faggy', Kurt's soft voice when he told Finn he just wanted to sing with Sam, and the look Kurt gave him when Finn basically called him a crazed stalker.

That's what it always came back to. Kurt's face. His eyes were so expressive that Finn always knew what Kurt was feeling whenever he looked into those glass eyes. Kurt could put up as many Dior gray walls as he wanted but Finn saw right past them. And Finn hated it. He knew how much Kurt had been hurting. Since last year he knew, but he didn't want to know. He didn't want to see how much Kurt was hurting because then Finn would have to admit to himself that he was part of what put that hurt there.

So Finn would press his palms to his eyes and groan softly, trying to rid himself of the memories. When he finally got Kurt's sad face from out of his mind, he would sigh and stare up at the dark ceiling. He wondered if this is what Kurt felt like sometimes. Hopeless, like things were out of control. He wondered where Kurt's mind was now, and he hoped Kurt couldn't feel any pain in his sleep. Then he would smile as he thought of Kurt rolling his eyes because _dummy no one can feel anything if they're asleep._ Finn would fall asleep with a faint smile on his face, wondering if tomorrow Kurt would wake up.

Downstairs, Carole would wash the dishes they used at the hospital, humming softly to herself. She was as scared as Burt was, maybe even more. She was not only fearing for Kurt's life but for Burt's as well. If Kurt died, she had no idea what Burt would do. They weren't any normal father and son, they were all each other had for years. Carole had never seen a bond like theirs before, and she didn't think Burt could take it if Kurt died.

She leaned against the counter and tried suppressing her tears, biting down on her bottom lip, determined to stay strong. She had to, for Burt, for Finn, for all of them. She feared that if she broke down, even a little, they would all fall apart. Right now they were barely hanging on to this twisted version of their normal daily life with visiting the hospital and huddling together to eat dinner while Kurt fought for his life right next to them. If she dared show any weakness, all that could go right out the window. If she started crying, Finn would start freaking out, and it would take days to console him. Burt would blame himself sick, and Carole didn't think she could handle both of the Hummel men in hospital beds.

So she held herself together, cleaning the untouched house, packing a lunch for Finn and putting it in the refrigerator so it would keep fresh until the morning, showering, going upstairs and sliding under the comforter, curling up slightly and reading a chapter of the Danielle Steel book she had picked up before turning her lamp off, setting the book on the nightstand and going to sleep, hopeful for any progress tomorrow.

* * *

The next morning, Burt woke up around seven in the morning. Carole had already come and gone, but she had left him oatmeal in a small styrafoam bowl to keep it hot, along with a small carton of orange juice. Burt smiled softly, opening the orange juice first and taking a long sip before putting it back down with a small, content sigh. It almost seemed normal for a moment there, like he was drinking orange juice at the kitchen table back at home again.

He reached over the oatmeal for the phone and called the garage, like he had been doing since Kurt was admitted to the hospital, and told his backup that he wouldn't be in today.

"Don't worry about calling, Burt." The guy said, his voice soft and understanding. "Just make sure Kurt is okay and send him all our best. Alright?"

Burt smiled softly. "Yeah, thank you." He mumbled, hanging up with a soft sigh. He looked over to Kurt, unmoved, unchanging for a whole week, and he sighed again.

"You remember when I first opened the garage, kid?" He asked, reaching over and brushing some stray hair from Kurt's forehead. "I didn't think you'd like it at all. Figured you would hate it because you wouldn't want to get your clothes dirty or something." He smiled slightly. "But you really took a liking to it. I remember you wanting to help me fix some cars, and you just kept learning. You kept growing. Your mom laughed at me when I bought you your own work pants and shirt, but you loved it. You were just full of surprises. I remember how happy you were, wearing it around the garage and walking around like you were born to be there. You didn't care that you got all greased up, you liked working on cars with me, huh kid?"

Burt ignored the hot tears in his eyes. He brushed his knuckles gently against Kurt's cheek. "After your mom died, I hadn't seen you that happy in years. I know you tried, I know you loved me, but you weren't happy Kurt. Not as happy as you had been." He let out a soft chuckle. "Then you started in this glee club and it was like the garage all over again. You were humming and singing, and I thought everything was going to be okay again…" His voice trailed off as tears started to stream down his cheeks.

"The world's a cruel place, kiddo. I just…I wanted to protect you from it all, and I still cou-" He choked on a sob, bowing his head. He kissed Kurt's limp hand, letting out a trembling breath. "You don't deserve this, Kurt. You don't…you're too young to die, Kurt. You have so much to give to the world. The world…this world, this stupid place needs more people like you to change it. To fill it with songs and those nice clothes you like so much. You can't go now, you can't leave me. Please don't leave me…"

* * *

"Hey Finn."

Finn looked over from his locker. This morning had been just another blur. He woke up late, so he had to rush a shower, grab a poptart and then run back into the house after starting his truck because he forgot his lunch.

When he turned, he saw Quinn, Sam, Mercedes, Lauren, Puck, Santana, Brittany, Rachel, Mike and Tina standing there, staring at him. He looked like a tornado had hit, with his hair sticking up and his clothes all disheveled. Puck was the first one to comment on it.

"Dude you look like shit."

The small group turned and glared at him, and he blinked. "What?"

Finn smiled a little. "Yeah, I just…rough morning."

"Sorry to hear that." Quinn said softly.

Puck shoved his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, sorry dude."

Finn shrugged a little. "'S fine."

"Any news on Kurt?" Tina asked.

Finn shook his head, sighing. "Same as usual. Hasn't woken up yet."

"What did the doctor say?" Mike asked.

Finn chewed on his bottom lip for a minute. "All we can really do is wait. Everything is fine. He doesn't have any brain damage or anything. He just…" He sighed. "He can't wake up for some reason."

The small group was quiet, exchanging worried looks. Puck kept his eyes on his friend. "You know Hummel'll pull through." He said, and everyone looked at him again. He glared. "Why do you guys keep looking at me like that?"

"Puck's right." Finn said quickly, and they all turned to him. He was suddenly bright-eyed with a grin on his face. "You know Kurt. Last year was practically a living hell, and he made it every day."

"Finn," Mercedes said gently, "There's a huge difference between a few slushies and a car accident."

"Yeah but Figgins is still the same."

Lauren raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"He means the principle." Rachel said, smiling softly. "The principle is still the same, Finn. And you're right, in a weird way. Kurt's already beat so many things, he's strong. He can beat this."

The diva and the quarterback shared a soft smile while the other members of the glee club looked fairly skeptical. Mercedes let out a soft sigh. "I love him, Finn." She said, causing Finn to break eye contact with Rachel to look over to her. "He's my best friend, and I really want him to beat this."

Finn's eyes softened. He took a couple of steps and put a hand on her shoulder. "I know you do, Cedes. You can't give up, okay? He needs us. All of us."

Mercedes nodded, wiping the tears away from her eyes. "Okay Finn." She said softly.

Finn grinned widely. "Awesome."

Rachel smiled. "Come on guys! I have a brilliant idea that is guaranteed to help Kurt feel better."

Santana rolled her eyes. "This doesn't involve you singing does it?"

"Time's wasting, Santana!"Rachel sang merrily, leading them down the hallway to the choir room, a pair of pained hazel-green eyes watching them from afar.

* * *

"Hey Mr. Hummel."

Burt looked up from Kurt, and he felt his eyes aching. This was ridiculous, even his eyes were tired? He hadn't even been doing anything but watching Kurt. How could he be tired? He raised a hand and rubbed his eyes slowly, a yawn escaping him. "Yeah?" When he moved his hand, he saw Blaine standing in the doorway, a long white box in his hands. Burt started to smile and greet the boy when his conversation with Finn floated to the top of his mind.

Blaine kissed Rachel.

This kid was the reason for all this. He was at the core of it. He was the reason Kurt had tried changing himself. Burt let Kurt's hand slide from his grip as he stood, glaring at Blaine. "You got a lot of nerve, kid." He growled. Blaine took a step back, blinking. "Wh-What?"

"I found out what happened. I found out why Kurt was acting all weird and changing his clothes. It's because he was trying to impress you because he liked you, and you go and kiss someone else? One of his friends? What kind of sick game are you playing at?"

Blaine was paler than the hospital sheets at this point, but he held his ground, jaw locked. "Mr. Hummel, please let me explain-"

"I think I've heard enough from you, kid. Kurt's in the hospital. He's been here for over a week now, he might not ever wake up again, all because you couldn't bother to give him the time of day, even after he had the courage to tell you about how he felt. Do you know what that did to him, Blaine? He felt like he had nothing to live for. He tried killing himself! And where the hell have you been anyway, huh? Scamming on other girls? Finding other games to screw with people?"

"Mr. Hummel-"

"I don't want to hear it! He's my son, Blaine, and no one hurts my son likes this and just gets to waltz back in here, you understand? If it weren't for the fact that we're in a hospital and I could get arrested, I would be pounding your face in, no questions asked. Lucky for you I don't want to do that, because I don't want to leave Kurt. He means too much to me to do that to him, to leave him alone like you did-"

Burt's words caught in his throat when Blaine opened the white box he had been holding, and he saw what was in there.

Kurt's scarf.

It was the same neon blue scarf with white skulls on it that Kurt wore when Burt found him singing in the school auditorium last year. When Kurt was singing about how everyone had passed him by, had stepped all over him and left him alone, and how he was taking charge for himself now when Burt had started spending more time with Finn. When Burt unknowingly put Kurt second, just as Blaine had.

"_Everything's coming up Kurt, everything's coming up Hummel…"_

Burt didn't realize he was crying as he walked over to Blaine, looking into the box as if it were some holy object. In a way, it felt like it. Kurt had gotten rid of most of his fancy clothes, and had got rid of all of his scarves despite his absolute love of them. Burt remembered Kurt being up at 3 in the morning so he would be one of the first people to order one before they sold out in France or England or somewhere.

"Wh-…" Burt took a breath, touching the scarf with the tip of his fingers. "Where did you find it?"

Blaine watched Burt warily, just in case the elder Hummel decided to strangle him with the scarf or something. "I-I went looking for all of the stuff Kurt got rid of. Go figure all of that designer stuff was already gone from the Goodwill and Salvation Armys he donated them too." He chuckled weakly at his own joke. "This was the only one I could find."

Burt let out a soft sob, bowing his head and letting the tears run off of his face and pitter-patter onto the linoleum floor. Blaine bit his lip, watching Kurt's dad break down in front of him. He wasn't used to this. He knew how strong both Kurt and his dad were, and to see them like this, to see them so broken…

"I tried as hard as I could. Please believe me Mr. Hummel. I know how much Kurt cares for me, and I was confused for a while. Maybe it was because I wanted to be straight. I wanted to be someone my parents would be proud of. I wanted acceptance, and being gay, I would never fully get it from most people. From the world. So I tried, and I was still so confused, because even when I was with Rachel, I still had feelings for Kurt. I think I always will, because no matter how many times I hurt him, he's always been there for me with a smile on his face." He took a shaky breath. "I…I love your son, Mr. Hummel. I know what I've done is…horribly and ugly, and Kurt didn't deserve any of this pain. But I swear that I won't hurt him again. I won't put him through this again. He helped me find myself, and for that I owe him everything."

Blaine set a hand gently on Burt's shaking shoulder. "I'll always be here for Kurt as whatever he wants. A friend, a boyfriend, or nothing at all. But I won't ever leave him alone again. I promise you that."

Burt nodded silently, tears still escaping him despite his tightly shut eyes. "You boys…" He whispered softly, "…you boys are so young…too young to be going through stuff like this."

"I know." Blaine mumbled, not trusting his voice not to crack. "I'm so sorry."

Burt used the cuff of his flannel shirt to wipe his eyes, and he inhaled and exhaled deeply. "I'll give you a minute alone with him." He said, straightening up and patting Blaine's shoulder before walking out of the room. Blaine looked at him gratefully, waiting until he heard the click of the door behind him to walk to the bed. He sat in the chair Burt had been occupying, feeling awkwardly tall with Kurt in bed, looking so small.

"Hey there." Blaine said softly, forcing a small smile. "Still here, I see…."

Blaine was silent for a few minutes, watching the slow and steady rise and fall of Kurt's chest. Looking at him now, Blaine realized he hadn't really noticed a lot about him, like the smooth slope of his nose, or how long his eyelashes were, the slight pout of his lips, or how his head slowly moved from side to side, like he was trying to get away from something.

Blaine set the white box down on the floor and lifted the Pashmina scarf out of it carefully. Blaine held it in his hands for a moment before raising it up and brushing the soft cloth against Kurt's cheek, smiling. "Alexander McQueen, fit for a king." He said softly. But seeing it just sitting on Kurt's cheek, slumped against his shoulder, it seemed so wrong. So Blaine stood up and lifted Kurt's head gently away from the pillow, using his free hand to slide the scarf under Kurt's thin neck before settling his head back on the pillow. Blaine pulled the corners of the scarf so that both ends met right above Kurt's collarbone, then tied a loose knot. He pulled away and took a step back from the bed, smiling softly. The scarf clashed horribly with the sick bluish-green hospital gown, but it was better. More Kurt-like.

"….Kurt-"

* * *

He was in the practice room.

He recognized it easily. Since transferring to Dalton, it was one of the places he spent the most time. But it was darker now, and looking out the window, he couldn't see anything. It was like the sky had disappeared and only darkness remained. It was spooky. But right now, that was the least of his worries.

For once, the room full of Warblers was silent. Their faces were all dark with shadows and angry smolders as they stared at him wordlessly. All of them were sitting casually on couches or standing as some of them usually did during the meetings. Wes, David and Thad were sitting at the Council table, none were saying anything, and they _always_ had something to say. But right now Kurt was standing before them all, all eyes on him, with no idea as to what was going on. Right now all he knew was pain.

The tie was choking him.

Kurt was struggling to untie the knot, or at least slide the tie so it was a bit looser, but it was impossible. His hands were clawing desperately at it, trying to get it off, but his arms felt like lead. Or, more precisely, the blazer was weighing him down. He felt like his blazer weighed a ton, but there was nothing he could do about it. He was barely able to raise his hands because of it. He felt tears prickling his eyes as he choked, and like all of the other nightmares he had been suffering, he was still singing in this one.

_I'm gonna lace up my boots  
Throw on some leather and cruise  
Down the street that I love  
In my fishnet gloves  
I'm a sinner_

He was gasping the words past the suffocating tie. He was surprised he was able to say anything at all. It felt like his windpipes were being crushed. But like all the other scenarios he had faced, no one was standing to help him. No one cared enough to, and he was dying in front of the people he loved once more.  
_  
Then I'll go down to the bar  
But I won't cry anymore _

Kurt coughed weakly, feeling like this was it. He was going to die again, and then this nightmare would repeat itself over and over. He was never going to escape this world of pain, anguish and song. He felt so hopeless, so weak. Until he saw it.

_I'll hold my whiskey up high  
Kiss the bartender twice _

Out of the corner of his eyes, someone stood up from one of the couches. The figure stood still for a moment before walking slowly over to Kurt. Kurt tried calling out for help, but his mouth only knew these lyrics. He couldn't say anything else. The weight of the blazer forced Kurt onto his knees, and Kurt doubled over in pain. His sight was being dotted by black spots, and he knew the end was near again. Then suddenly a pair of shoes appeared in front of him, and he managed to lift his head up to see who it was standing there. Blaine.

_I'm a loser_

Blaine smiled softly at him and kneeled down, pulling something from his pocket. It was one of his Alexander McQueen scarves, the one that he loved because it brought out his eyes. Kurt's eyes widened, and he watched as Blaine tied it around his neck. Suddenly, the tie went slack and Kurt could gasp for air. The blazer wasn't as heavy and his shoulders sagged with fatigue. Blaine leaned forward, his lips brushing Kurt's earlobe.

_Marry the night._  
_Don't give up on your life._

Kurt looked at him, confused, as Blaine pulled away. Suddenly it wasn't just Blaine kneeling in front of him. Behind Blaine stood Finn, and Burt with Carole. His friends from the Warblers, and even New Directions. All of his friends and family, they were all there, smiling at him. Suddenly his heart wasn't heavy anymore.

He opened his eyes.

* * *

"-ve you…Kurt? KURT?"


	29. Chapter 29

One day I'll have a normal update time. For now its just...I'm weird. I'm so sorry you guys, but I finally have a new chapter! Yaaay!

Thank you all for reading, favoriting and reviewing! Please enjoy!

* * *

"Come on, you guys are acting like we've never sang before!"

Santana glared at Rachel, who was standing in front of the piano in the choir room like she was a Mini-Schue or something. "Berry don't make me go all Lima Heights on you right now. You're about two seconds away from getting a razor blade right up your-"

"Come on guys, Rachel's right." Finn said. "We sing all the time, it's not really different."

"I hear that being recorded steals your soul." Brittany whispered.

"I'm pretty sure that's getting your picture taken that does that." Tina said.

Rachel sighed and turned off the tape recorder. They had been trying to record a song for Kurt to listen to while he was in the hospital in hopes that the music would reach where their normal speaking voices could not. They'd been at it for almost an hour. "We've performed in front of hundreds of people before at competitions. What has you all so nervous?"

The glee kids looked around at each other, shrugging and mumbling a few words. Puck, who was sitting down near the drum set and strumming his guitar aimlessly, spoke up. "It just doesn't feel genuine to me, you know?"

They all turned to look at him, and he glared. "You guys have to stop looking at me at the same time like that. It's freaking me out."

"What do you mean it doesn't feel genuine, Puck? Like you have a genuine bone in your body." Quinn said, folding her arms across her chest. Puck rolled his eyes. "Whatever Fabray, I'm just saying it feels like we're just recording something and then shoving it in Hummel's ear in some weird musical Sleeping Beauty type of way. I think it'd have a totally different feel if we did it like Rachel said, in front of an audience."

"Are you suggesting we go sing at the hospital?" Quinn asked, raising an eyebrow at him skeptically.

"You got a better idea, blondie?"

"You're such a-"

"Genius!" Rachel broke in, and everyone turned to look at her. "Noah you're an absolute genius! Not only will singing live to Kurt make it all the more genuine and have more feeling to it, we'll have an entire hospital as an audience."

Puck grinned and Quinn rolled her eyes.

Rachel turned to Finn. "Do you think Mr. Hummel will be okay with it?"

Finn nodded ."I don't see why not. I'll call him just in case though." He said, walking out of the choir room and pulling out his phone to call Burt.

Rachel turned back to the group. "Alright, let's just go through it a few more times." She glanced at the clock. "Visiting hours aren't over for another couple of hours so we have time for a little rehearsal."

"What makes you so sure Kurt will like the song though?" Quinn asked, now annoyed that Puck and Rachel had come up with a brilliant idea together. She could be jealous if she wanted. He was still Beth's father, even if Beth was no longer their child. "It's not like you two saw eye-to-eye when he was here with us."

Rachel sighed softly. "Kurt and I have had our artistic differences, however we are both mature enough to know that our personal lives are completely separate. We're more alike than any of you know, and I'm sure that Kurt will love the song."

"And hey, if he doesn't, maybe he'll just wake up that much sooner." Mike piped in, making a few of them laugh softly. Finn walked back into the room with a huge grin on his face. "Burt gave us the okay."

"Fantastic!" Rachel said excitedly, clapping her hands. "Alright, let's get to work! On my count. One two three four-"

* * *

"Kurt…."

Blaine sat at Kurt's bedside, holding his limp hand and watching the steady rise and fall of Kurt's chest. He felt like all of his words were spent. He was out of explanations, and it wasn't as if Kurt could hear him anyway. But still…Blaine owed Kurt a lot of explaining. He had explained himself to Rachel, to Burt, to Finn, to almost everyone except Kurt. He could try to explain again, to tell Kurt he wanted to take everything back, that he was an idiot for treating Kurt the way he did. He could talk until the world ended, but he felt like he would always have this guilt eating away at him.

He chewed on the inside of his cheek, eyebrows furrowed in thought.

Kurt knew him.

He knew Blaine more than Blaine was used to people knowing. But why? Because he liked him? Wes and David liked him, as friends of course, but they didn't take the same interest in Blaine as Kurt did. They certainly wouldn't know his coffee order off the tops of their heads. Maybe that was it. It was nice to have someone know the basics of you, such as what places you like to hang out at, or what kind of coffee you order. Those little details that seemed so insignificant…together they made up a whole person. No one had ever taken the time to get to know those pieces and put Blaine together but Kurt.

Maybe that's what Blaine had been running from all of this time. He was afraid of someone knowing him better than he knew himself. He didn't want someone that close to him because no one had ever been so close. Blaine was just afraid of being hurt, and in protecting himself from absolutely nothing, he had hurt Kurt in the process.

Isn't this what people wanted?

Men and women everywhere spent nights alone, crying because they couldn't find anyone. They walked around and felt their hearts clenching at the sight of happy couples everywhere. They prayed every night to find that special person. They wished upon stars. They tossed coins into fountains. They held out their hand, not caring about the consequences because they just needed someone so bad, someone to love and someone who loved them back just as much. People threw themselves out there, forcing themselves out of their shell because they needed someone in their life like that. Because being lonely sucked. Blaine was like that. He had been like that with Jeremiah, and he had blindly thrown himself into a relationship with Rachel because he wanted that. But Kurt had been standing there, hand extended, offering that to him the entire time.

Why was Kurt different?

Because of those little details. Because of the way Kurt was. He was precise and he knew what he wanted, and that scared Blaine. What if Kurt decided he didn't want Blaine? What if they broke up one day and Kurt walked out of his life forever? Blaine didn't think he could take that. He needed Kurt by his side forever. He felt foolish thinking it because they were so young. What did they know about love? However Blaine knew that's what this was. He had never felt like this for anyone else, and he knew he never would again. Kurt was different. He was special.

Blaine made a promise. He would never harm Kurt again. He would never put that heartbreaking expression on his face again. He would never leave Kurt by himself. As long as Kurt needed him, wanted him, Blaine would be right there for him as whatever he wanted. As a friend, as a boyfriend, Blaine would be his anything. "I promise." He whispered, gripping Kurt's hand gently and kissing his knuckles.

There was a soft knock on the door, and Blaine looked up. Finn was peaking in through the small crack in the door, smiling a little.

"Hey."

"Hey."

Finn opened the door and walked in, looking at Kurt with soft eyes. "Still not awake."

Blaine sighed, nodding slowly. He brushed his thumb over the back of Kurt's hand slowly. "Yeah." He mumbled.

Finn let out a deep sigh, going around to the other side of Kurt's bed and brushing away some stray bangs from his forehead. It was easy to forget the situation Kurt was in at school. Finn almost always let it slip from his mind that his stepbrother had tried to kill himself, and that life was okay. But then he would walk past the French class Kurt loved so much, or he would walk into the choir room and find that one empty seat, or he would walk out to the school parking lot and remember that there was no Navigator parked outside with Kurt waiting in the driver's seat for him. When he really looked at life, he knew that it would never be the same without Kurt. The boy had carved himself a niche in Finn's life, and now that it was empty, Finn felt like the world wouldn't be right until Kurt was back in those empty spaces.

"Hey Kurt." He said softly. "We really miss you at school. Especially in Glee. It's not the same. No one can hit those high notes like you can, and Mercedes is having trouble putting together costumes for us."

"It's not my fault my boy is such a fashion genius."

Blaine looked over and smiled, seeing the members of New Directions walking into the room, Quinn shutting the door quietly behind them all. Rachel went to Finn's side, looking at Kurt. She wiped at her eyes, sniffling softly. "He looks so peaceful."

"You're talking like he's dead or something." Puck mumbled. He winced when Quinn slapped his bicep before standing at the foot of Kurt's bed. Mercedes, after giving Blaine an almost deadly once-over, stood next to him and sighed softly. Tina pushed Artie next to her, and Santana, Brittany, Sam and Mike stood next to them. It was like a Glee prayer circle. Lauren carried the small stereo to the nightstand next to Kurt's bed and looked at Rachel, who nodded, then pressed the play button. The music started slowly, and it was Rachel who started to sing.

_You're not alone  
Together we stand_

_I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand  
_

Rachel moved her hand to Finn's side, where he held it and picked off where she ended. Blaine watched him, and he had a soft look in his eyes, like he was going to cry at any second. But he forced himself to hold it in. If he broke down, they would all break down, and they couldn't do that. Kurt needed to hear this.

_When it gets cold, and it feels like the end  
There's no place to go, you know I won't give in  
No I won't give in._

As the collective voices of New Directions filled the room, Blaine's heart swelled with the love he felt from them. They were all family. They came from all different cliques, from different homes, but they all came together like this as one family.

_Keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through  
Just stay strong  
'Cause you know we're here for you, I'm here for you_

Their voices, which had started as soft and gentle, started to progressively get louder and more powerful. They wanted Kurt to hear this. No matter if they went to different schools now, they were still family. They still loved him, and they would always be there for him.

_There's nothing you can say  
Nothing you can do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

Mercedes' voice, which had started out a bit shaky, was now stronger as she watched Kurt sleep. She needed her best friend back. Whenever she picked up her phone to check her messages, she kept forgetting that Kurt wasn't going to call her or text her. The chair next to her in the choir room was empty, as was the seat next to her in the cafeteria. He was here, broken, unable to talk to anyone. But Mercedes was set on reaching him with her solo. She had to. She needed Kurt to come back.

_So far away, I wish you were here  
Before its too late this could all disappear  
Before the door's closed and it comes to an end  
With you by my side I will fight and defend  
I'll fight and defend, yeah, yeah!_

She let her note ring out as the others started the chorus, vocalizing with her powerful voice.

_Keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through  
Just stay strong  
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you  
_

_There's nothing you can say, nothing you can do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

Blaine nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and when he looked up he was surprised to see Puck. The jock nodded to Kurt, and Blaine smiled up gratefully to him. The Warbler turned back to Kurt on the bed, his voice soft.

_Hear me when I say I believe  
Nothing's gonna hanged, nothing's gonna change destiny  
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly_

_Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!_

Tears started to run down Blaine's cheeks, and he felt Puck squeeze his shoulder gently. The others started to cry as well, Rachel hugging Finn's side as he covered his mouth, unable to sing anymore. Brittany was crying into Santana's shoulder, and the girl had her arm around the blonde's waist. Tina was gripping onto Artie and Mike's hand, and Quinn was holding onto Sam, a hand extended to Lauren.

_Keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through  
Just stay strong  
'Cause you know I'm here for you, we're here for you_

_There's nothing you could say, nothing you could do_  
_There's no other way when it comes to the truth_  
_So keep holding on_  
_'Cause you know we'll make it through_  
_We'll make it through…_

As the song ended, and the CD faded out, the room was full of soft crying and sniffling. Mercedes was leaning on Blaine's shoulder, crying her eyes out. Blaine let Kurt's hand slide from his as he pulled Mercedes into a hug, crying just as hard as she was. Rachel nearly fell over when Finn pulled away from her, moving down and hugging Kurt by his shoulders. "Please wake up." He whispered desperately, the tears never ending. "Please little brother, please…."

Rachel moved over, rubbing Finn's back as his shoulders trembled with sobs. Puck held onto Mercedes by her waist as she slid to the floor, covering her face as she babbled incoherently through her tears. Quinn buried her face into Sam's shoulder as she tried to stifle her own crying. Even Santana had to wipe at her own tears as she tried to comfort Brittany.

"We love you, Kurt." Finn whispered. "Please come back to us. We love you…"

Because of all of the crying in the room, he might have missed the soft moan, but because of how close he was, Finn heard it. Loud and clear. He pulled away slowly, and saw that Kurt's beautiful blue eyes were looking back at him.

"Kurt?"

Kurt closed his eyes, then opened them again, smiling faintly. Finn couldn't believe what he was seeing. The other glee members were looking over now, wiping their eyes and wondering what Finn was saying. Seeing Kurt's eyes open as well, they all threw themselves at the bed.

"KURT?"


	30. Chapter 30

Great success! Another chapter down! But it's not the end yet! Thank you all for reading, favoriting, reviewing, and having patience with me. Please enjoy the newest chapter!

* * *

After the glee club had nearly tackled him and almost suffocated him to another coma with their hugs, the doctor who had been in charge of Kurt's care had them all wait outside as he looked Kurt over. The teenagers were all too giddy to care about being kicked out though. Kurt was back. Kurt was awake and alive and he was okay!

They all stood in the waiting room, hugging each other and saying the same thing over: "We did it. He's back. We did it!"

Unbeknownst to them, however, Kurt was sitting up in the bed now, propped up by the mechanical bed that moved with the push of a button, a small frown on his otherwise blank face. The doctor stood at his side, propping open his eyelids and shining a small light into them. Past the light, Kurt could see his father standing at the foot of the bed.

Burt had rushed in, hearing the exclamations of his son's name falling from his friends' mouths. Fearing the worst, he had run in, only to see that they were all hugging him, calling his name over and over, and Kurt had let them hug him, not smiling back, not calling back, nothing.

That's when Burt started to worry all over again.

"Well Mr. Hummel." The doctor said, finally pulling the light away from Kurt's eyes. "It seems you've made a pretty miraculous recovery." He smiled softly at Kurt. "Welcome back."

Kurt looked up at the doctor's face before looking away, nodding slowly.

"We'll need to keep you for another few days for evaluation. I've already talked to your father about setting up an appointment with a therapist after you're released."

Therapist.

Oh that's right.

He had tried to kill himself.

Now he was crazy, right?

Kurt nodded silently again, his hands gripping the sheet on top of him slightly.

"Do you have any questions, concerns?"

Kurt shook his head.

"Does your body ache anywhere? Any pains?"

Kurt shook his head again.

The doctor was starting to get a little worried, but he nodded all the same. "Alright then. I'll give you some time." He looked to Burt, who smiled slightly and nodded.

"Thank you."

The doctor smiled back. "Not a problem. I'll be back to check on Kurt a little later on."

The man turned and offered Kurt a smile, to which Kurt attempted a smile back, but it failed him. The doctor gave him a slight nod before heading out, closing the door behind himself.

Father and son were finally alone.

Kurt couldn't look at him. He couldn't look at Burt, because he knew what he would find there on his father's tired face. Disappointment. Sadness. Grief. Confusion. Anger, perhaps? Kurt couldn't lift his head to look at his father. So instead, he focused on his whitening knuckles clutching at the bed sheet.

The room was quiet.

He had failed his dad.

Kurt swore he would protect his dad from pain. From grief. Ever since he saw Burt's face after getting a phone call about Kurt being a faggot, he swore he would do anything he could to never see that look on his dad's face ever again. He loved his dad too much to see that. Kurt would give up anything to not see that look ever again.

When he jumped in front of that car, he had forgotten about that promise.

"Kurt, look at me."

Kurt's body stiffened at his father's words. Why was he so scared of Burt? Burt had never hurt him before. His voice was still soft. Gruff, but full of love. It wasn't that Kurt was afraid of him, but afraid of what his father might feel for him now. Kurt only ever wanted Burt to feel proud of him.

That's why he worked so hard in school. Even when he transferred to Dalton and the classes got harder, he studied until he couldn't anymore. He brought home good grades and academic awards. When he needed money, he would work in the garage until he earned it.

But what if after this, after all of that hard work to keep up his grades, to keep up his image, to hold himself together had failed, Burt didn't see Kurt the same way anymore?

The room was filled with the sound of soft footsteps walking closer to Kurt's side. The bed shifted as Burt sat on the edge of the bed. Kurt could see his father's hands out of his peripheral vision.

"Kurt."

Kurt flinched. He knew he couldn't avoid looking at his father forever. So he had to just suck it up. He had to face the consequences of his actions. Slowly, he lifted his head up. Blue eyes met green, and Kurt's chest felt lighter when he saw that the way Burt looked at him, with such love and warmth, was not lost.

Tears filled both sets of eyes, and Kurt found himself enveloped in his father's arms. Kurt tucked his head underneath Burt's chin, his body starting to tremble.

"God Kurt." Burt whispered, his voice thick with emotion, and Kurt could tell that his father was close to tears, if he wasn't crying already. "I thought I lost you."

Kurt squeezed his eyes shut. "I-I'm sorry Dad." He whispered. "I just couldn't…I couldn't…."

"Shh." Burt rubbed his back slowly. "Just don't…don't ever do that again, you hear me kid? If there's something wrong you have to talk with me. I'm here for you, I always will be." He kissed Kurt's forehead, and Kurt could feel the dampness on his father's cheeks. "I know I haven't been the best dad-"

"No!" Kurt said, pulling away and looking his father in the eyes again. "It's not you, you're the best dad! It's not you, it's not!"

Burt stroked Kurt's hair slowly. "Shh, Kurt, it's okay. It's okay, calm down, kid."

"No it's not!" Kurt was practically screaming by now. "You don't deserve this! You're not a bad dad! You don't deserve a sick son like me!" He gasped through his tears, sobs ripping at his chest. "I'm _wrong_, I'm all wrong, I'm not…I'm sick! I'm sick! You're not-"

Kurt stopped midsentence as Burt cupped his face in his rough, calloused hands. Tears streamed down his strained face. He took a deep breath, stroking Kurt's cheek with one hand gently. "You hush, Kurt. You hear me? You don't ever talk like that. You aren't sick. You're not sick. You're an amazing kid, Kurt. Strong, like your mom. You're barely 17 and you've gone through so much crap, and you still walk around with your head held high. You're not wrong. You're an amazing kid, and I'm thankful for you every day. Don't you ever put yourself down like that, you hear me?"

Kurt was stunned. His eyes were slightly wide. He nodded silently.

Burt sighed, nodding. "Good." He pulled Kurt into another tight hug, Kurt returning the motion this time. The Hummel men were quiet again, but this time it was a comfortable kind of quiet. Kurt wondered how he could forget how much Burt loved him. The car must have done some damage to his memories. He smiled weakly at his own lame joke.

Oh, the car…

"How are the people from the car doing?" He asked.

Burt pulled away slightly, nodding. "They're good. They were a little shaken up, but they're good. Came to visit once. Brought you some flowers but they wilted."

Kurt nodded slowly, gazing around the blindingly white room. There was a small table with wilting flowers on it, as well as a small teddy bear with a Get Well Soon balloon attached to it. It was slowly deflating.

"That was nice of them."

"Yeah."

It was silent again. Kurt shifted a little in the bed, his body aching. He suddenly became aware of everything. His leg and arm in a cast, a needle attaching him to an I.V drip in his wrist. How tired he felt. How tired his dad looked. The bags under his eyes. Kurt blinked.

"Hey dad?"

"Yeah kid?"

"How long have I been out?"

Burt hummed softly, his eyes roving over the farthest wall of the room as if the answer was somewhere over there. He turned back to Kurt. "Almost two weeks."

Kurt's eyes widened. "Two weeks?"

"Yeah. The doctor said you were fine, just didn't want to wake up." He chuckled softly. "Stubborn as ever."

Kurt rubbed a hand over his face. He had been asleep, having horrible nightmares for two weeks? "Wow." He mumbled. "Time flies."

"Mm. For you. The rest of us were waiting right here for you."

Kurt suddenly remembered. "The glee club?"

"Yeah, they're outside right now. Wanted to sing for you, said it might help. And what do you know, it did." Burt smiled. "You always did have this connection to music, kid."

Kurt smiled slightly. "Yeah."

"A lot of people came by. Even that coach of yours."

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Beiste?"

"No, the weird one."

"…Coach Sylvester?"

"Yeah that's the one. I'm surprised you didn't wake up when she walked in here with a bullhorn, telling you to get up. Nearly got herself thrown out, but man did she scare off security."

Kurt had to laugh at that. Yeah, that sounded like Coach Sylvester. He could be on his death bed and she would yell at him until he got up.

Then again, he supposed he was on his death bed.

Seeing the smile on his son's face quickly disappear, Burt spoke gently.

"You felt cornered Kurt. That's what the therapist said."

Kurt sniffled, not looking away from his father. "Cornered…" That felt like it made sense. Like he had nowhere to go, no one to understand him. Trapped. Cornered. He had been uncomfortable in his own skin and he didn't know where to turn.

Burt nodded slowly. "The doctor had me talk to her. She's a real nice lady, I think you'll like her. She told me that people who try this feel like there's no way out of their situation. They aren't sick. They just feel helpless."

Kurt rubbed his damp eyes, nodding slowly. That sounded about right. "Will…will I have to go to therapy now?"

"Just for a little while, Kurt. Unless you don't like it. I promise that if you don't like it, you can stop. I just…I know I'm not the best person to open up to-" Burt held up a hand as Kurt opened his mouth to protest. "Don't give me any of that. I know that it's awkward to talk about things with me. But this therapist lady will be like a kind of…neutral third party. You know?"

Kurt closed his mouth, nodding slowly. "Y-Yeah."

Burt clasped his hand over Kurt's good one. "And you let me know if it makes you uncomfortable. I want you better, but I want you to feel like it's okay to talk to her. Got it?"

Kurt nodded again. "Got it."

Burt smiled softly. "Alright kid." He sighed a little, relieved. "I want to talk to you about a lot of things, Kurt. But I think you should rest for now. You just woke up, I don't want to tire you into a coma again." He said, chuckling.

Kurt smiled softly. "Alright dad. Thanks."

Burt nodded, kissing his son's head before getting up off of the bed slowly. "I'll tell those kids to come back later. You need your rest."

"Yeah…" Kurt was honestly not looking forward to explaining things to them. Especially not to Mercedes. He was sure she was furious at him. But for now he just wanted to rest. It must have been the pain medication that was starting to make his eyes droop slowly. He moved the bed back to a flat position and laid down on his side, trying to get comfortable with the I.V and casts on him.

Tomorrow he would start talking. For now, he just wanted a dreamless sleep.


	31. Chapter 31

Well here it is, the final chapter! Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me and delt with my horrible updating. I appreciate and thank you for even looking at this story, and I hope you enjoy the conclusion! If you're interested, I'm writing another story called Born This Way, which will be updated once a week (I swear XD).

Thank you to every single person who has read this, reviewed it, and come back for more! Please enjoy!

* * *

"How are you feeling today Kurt?"

Kurt looked up from his lap into the big, soft blue eyes of his therapist.

* * *

It had been three weeks since he had woken up. Since then, he had started therapy, right there in his hospital room, and he had been released from the hospital and settled back home. He hadn't let anyone visit him up until two weeks ago, and even then it was only Mercedes. He heard from the diva that Rachel was sorry, but he didn't want to see her, or Blaine, or anyone else, quite yet.

But when he got back home, Burt insisted he see at least a few more people. Just to feel a little normal again. But when had Kurt ever felt a speck of normal? Still, he relented, and Mercedes brought along Brittany, Tina, Puck and Mike, who carried Artie and his wheelchair down the stairs to Kurt's room. They all caught Kurt up on what was happening at McKinley. They were all preparing for sectionals and Schuester was pushing them extra hard, but it wouldn't be the same without Kurt.

Kurt smiled faintly at that. Of course it would. It wasn't like he ever had a solo part that would screw up their entire set list if he was missing. All they needed to do was adjust the choreography and everything would be like he never existed. But he said nothing. He didn't want to make them feel as bad as they probably already did. Then one week ago, he had started school again. Burt had withdrawn him from Dalton, wanting him to be closer to home just in case he felt closed off again. Kurt was a little disappointed, but he knew his father was just looking out for him.

So Kurt went back to McKinley, and it felt like he had never left. Except the jocks laid off of him now, and people didn't mess with him as much as they used to. No slushies to speak of yet. Of course that may have had something to do with Finn glaring at anyone who even glanced at Kurt the wrong way

Once though, when Finn hadn't been around, a jock had thrown him up against the lockers. Before Kurt could turn around to see who the guy was, the same guy was pinned up against the lockers next to Kurt, being held up by none other than Dave Karofsky. He silently glared at the jock, who had then run off faster than Kurt had seen anyone move before. He then looked at Dave, who smiled a little and welcomed Kurt back.

One week ago is when Blaine showed up.

Burt opened the front door and saw the boy standing there, uniform and all, wringing his hands. When the door opened, Blaine flinched before straightening up quickly. "Oh, hello Mr. Hummel, is Kurt-"

"Come in."

Blaine blinked before nodding and scrambling in, acting as if he didn't hurry inside, Burt would change his mind. "Thank you."

Burt nodded, watching as Blaine looked around the house, peeking into the living room. He seemed to deflate when he saw that Kurt wasn't there.

"Downstairs." Burt mumbled.

Blaine looked back to the older man. "Oh, uh-"

"Come on."

Blaine followed Burt into the kitchen and through the door in the corner, leading down some stairs into a gray room. It seemed so empty down here. There was only a chair, a desk with a small iPod dock on it, and a bed. The bed, however, is what made Blaine light up. Or rather, who was asleep in the bed.

Kurt was curled up slightly on his side, his slightly longer brown hair splayed against the pillow his head rested on. His right arm, still in a cast, was cradled against his chest. His broken left leg was propped up by a folded comforter and a pillow. He was still so small though, and his size was even more accented with the oversized dark blue shirt he was wearing. Still, the wires were gone, as was the heart monitor and that relaxed Blaine a little bit.

"I'll leave you to it." Burt said, rubbing Blaine's shoulder. "Don't screw this up."

Blaine blushed, nodding slowly. "I'll try my best, sir."

"Burt."

Blaine looked over, and met Burt's eyes.

"Call me Burt."

Blaine smiled a little. "Thank you, s-…Burt."

Burt nodded and pulled his hand away, going back upstairs. Blaine heard the door close gently, and he walked down the rest of the stairs. As he ventured closer to the bed, his feet felt heavy. Finally, after almost two weeks, Blaine would have a chance to explain to Kurt exactly what happened, what was going through his mind, and why he did what he did. But would Kurt listen?

He had to.

Please, Blaine prayed, just give me a few moments to explain. Please let him listen. Please let him understand.

Courage.

The bed shifted when Blaine sat on it as carefully as he could. Feeling the movement, Kurt stirred slowly. His glasz eyes fluttered open slowly, and for a moment he thought he was hallucinating when he saw Blaine sitting next to him, a hesitant smile on his face. But when he closed his eyes and opened them again, he knew this was no dream.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked, his voice soft, and thick with sleep.

Blaine had to smile. He loved the way Kurt said his name. "Hey."

Kurt watched him for a long few moments, blinking slowly. Strangely, he felt no anger inside of him. He felt no welling sadness or hatred. Maybe he was just too tired to feel any of that anymore. He just…he wanted this all over. He wanted his friends back. All of them.

"How do you feel?" Blaine asked softly, his heart fluttering. Kurt wasn't lashing out at him. He was letting Blaine sit here, so close, even after all that had happened.

Kurt gave a small shrug. "Alright. Better. Alive." He smiled softly.

Blaine couldn't help but smile back.

They sat in a comfortable silence, watching each other, getting used to the feel of each other's presence again. And it was in that silence that Kurt found what he wanted. This. Simple, quiet, smiling, happiness.

He reached out and put his hand over Blaine's, and he couldn't help but giggle at the immediate blush that bloomed over Blaine's face.

Blaine smiled, hearing the giggle, and he brought Kurt's hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it tenderly. Now it was Kurt's turn to blush. Blaine chuckled softly and put his hand down, never letting Kurt go.

"Kurt, I-"

Blaine was stopped by Kurt sitting up slowly and leaning over. He inched his face closer and closer to Blaine's, and just inches before their lips started to touch, Kurt put a finger over Blaine's lips. He smiled softly and shook his head.

"I know you're sorry, Blaine. I can see it in your eyes. But I'm sorry too."

Blaine looked as if he was going to protest, but Kurt shook his head again.

"You did a lot of things that hurt me, Blaine. But I was selfish too. I made you feel like you had to choose, and I pressured you and made you feel bad for being confused. I shouldn't have done that. That isn't what a friend does, and I'm so sorry."

Blaine's eyes softened, and he shook his head. "You're wrong." He spoke against Kurt's finger, and Kurt pulled away.

"It's a two-way street, Mr. Anderson."

"No, I mean…you pressured me, sure, but, you helped me see what I really wanted."

The smoldering love in Blaine's deep hazel eyes made Kurt's heart skip a beat. "What do you mean?"

Blaine smiled softly, raising a hand and cupping Kurt's cheek. "I want you, Kurt. I love you."

He moved forward to kiss Kurt, but he felt Kurt pull back, and he stopped. "What-"

Kurt put a finger up, watching him with gentle eyes. "I love you too, Blaine. All of this emotion, this anger, this…everything, is because I love you, and I was jealous. But, can we please, this time, just take it slow?"

Blaine let out a relieved sigh, and he smiled. "Yes, Kurt. As slow as you'd like."

Kurt pouted softly. "But not too slow."

Blaine chuckled. "Alright, not too slow."

Kurt smiled. "Good."

* * *

Kurt blushed, remembering their closeness, and he nodded. "I'm feeling great actually."

His therapist smiled softly. "That's great. And if I remember correctly, tonight is prom night, right?"

Kurt nodded enthusiastically.

"And you and Blaine are going together?"

Kurt nodded again, smiling when he remembered asking Blaine over a family dinner. Finn looked confused, asking if it was alright since Blaine was technically their rival, Carole aww'd and Burt tried to suppress a smile and look mean.

"Yes. I'm very excited."

"How are you feeling about Blaine?"

Kurt sat back a little, sighing. "Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes, at school, when I see Rachel, I remember what he did, and when he tried to hide me like I was his dirty little secret or something. But…then I remember what we talked about, that we all make mistakes, and I feel a little better."

"Do you think you'll understand why he did it?"

Kurt nodded slowly. "I think I do, little by little." He smiled coyly. "We all do weird things to find ourselves." He said, remembering his own "straight" stunts he'd pulled. Still, he had yet to actually talk to Rachel. She had gotten the hint, thanks to Mercedes, who had also attached herself to Kurt's side. Every time Rachel tried to approach Kurt, Mercedes would practically drag him away, glaring at Rachel the entire time. It was amusing, though it did make Kurt feel bad.

Just a little.

"Do you ever have feelings of suicide anymore?"

Kurt's blood ran cold, and he bit his lip. Sure he did. Sometimes he felt like he wished he had succeeded, because he felt like a burden on his father, on Carole and Finn. Even on the glee club as he sat on the sidelines as his leg healed. When his leg was finally out of the cast, he not only had to take it easy, but he had to learn the steps to all of the choreography as well. The club was adamant that Kurt didn't need to push himself, but Kurt wanted to help. He needed to make himself useful. If he didn't, he would sit on the side and feel useless, like he was bringing everyone down. He hated that feeling.

"Sometimes." He admitted in a soft voice. "But then…I just, I see all the things I could have missed, like Blaine's smile, or my dad's laugh, or Finn eating a whole pizza by himself, or the glee club winning sectionals. I couldn't imagine not being there."

His therapist smiled softly at him, and she nodded in approval. "You're getting there Kurt. You're healing."

Kurt smiled broadly.

He felt healed.

* * *

"Oh my God I can't wait to get inside." Kurt said, getting out of Blaine's jeep and smoothing out his kilt. Blaine closed his door and stood next to Kurt, smiling. "Too cold in the skirt?"

Kurt glared over at him. "It is a _kilt_, and no. I just want to see how the decorations came out. Or if Coach Sylvester tore them all down before anyone could see them. Too much happiness, you know."

Blaine chuckled. "She sounds funny."

"You have no idea."

The two boys walked to the gym, where there was a table to check in. After getting their wristbands, they walked into the gym, which was decorated with streamers and balloons. The lights were still up, probably because it was still early, but that just meant that they could find the rest of the glee kids before the dance started.

"I want to find Dave, first." Kurt said, glancing around the small crowd of his classmates. "I need to see his date to confirm this with my own eyes."

Blaine chuckled softly. "You didn't think Dave could get a date?"

"No, I don't doubt that, I'm just saying I need to see it with my own eyes."

Blaine rolled his eyes, smiling still. "Alright."

"White boy!"

Mercedes ran over, with Mike, Artie, Tina, Santana and Brittany in tow. Kurt opened his arms and Mercedes ran into them. The best friends giggled softly, then pulled away to look over each other.

"Mercedes, purple is definitely your color."

"Is that a skirt?"

Mike, Artie and Blaine all greeted each other as Kurt and the girls checked over each other, making sure no skirts (or kilts) were dirty or covered in any punch. The crowd started to thicken, and the glee kids all gathered in a group, talking and laughing with each other, all of the drama seemingly forgotten. That was, until Kurt felt someone tap his shoulder. He turned around and saw Finn first, mostly because he was taller. The boy had gone out first from the Hudmel home to pick Rachel up. She stood next to Finn, smiling warily at Kurt. "H-Hey."

Kurt turned around entirely, and smiled a little. "Hi Rachel."

Rachel looked at Finn. "Finn, could you give us a minute?"

Finn glanced nervously between the two, before nodding. "Yeah, sure." He said, stepping away to greet Puck and the rest of the glee kids.

The two divas looked at each other again, and Rachel was the first to speak. "Kurt, I'm really sorry. I know that what I did was a horrible, horrible thing, especially when I know how important Blaine is to you. Not only as a love interest but as a friend, because I know that openly gay friends are important to the gay teen and-"

"Rachel, Rachel." Kurt said, putting his hands up to try and stop the speak fountain he had turned on by being open to conversing with her. "It's okay, I'm not upset with you."

Rachel's eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Yes. Well, not anymore." Kurt sighed. "I was just in a very bad place, and I've started therapy to try to understand that. The first step is forgiveness, and I forgive you."

Before he knew what was happening, Kurt felt Rachel's arms squeezing his torso. He winced. "Bruised ribs, bruised ribs!"

Rachel quickly let go, blushing. "Oh my God I'm so sorry Kurt, I completely forgot!"

Kurt smiled weakly, rubbing his side. "It's fine. Let's just enjoy the night, huh?"

Rachel grinned. "Let's!"

Kurt patted her shoulder, then glanced up in time to see Dave walk into the gym alone. "Excuse me." He said, making a beeline right for the hockey player. He looked so handsome in his suit and red tie, though, in Kurt's opinion, his hair could use some work. "Dave!"

Dave looked up and grinned, and the two friends hugged, Dave being careful of Kurt's still fading bruises. "Hey!"

Kurt pulled away and grinned softly. "You clean up nice."

Dave blushed. "Yeah well, tonight's a special night."

"And speaking of special, where's your lovely date?"

"Oh, bathroom. Little nervous."

Kurt smiled softly. "Well it is your big debut together."

Dave's blush deepened. "Yeah. We're both pretty excited."

Kurt rubbed Dave's arm encouragingly. "I'm happy for you Dave."

"Thank you, Kurt."

"Hey, sorry about that!"

Both boys looked over and grinned. "There he is!"

Sam walked in, wearing a black suit and a blue tie that brought out his eyes. He even had a corsage of blue hibiscus around his wrist, and Kurt smiled at Dave. "A corsage? Very traditional."

Sam clung to Dave's arm, making the hockey player entirely pink. "He knew the flowers were my favorite color."

Dave shrugged, smiling. "They're kind of the same color as the aliens on Avatar, so I just figured…"

Sam grinned. "He's seen Avatar."

"Like 20 times."

Kurt laughed softly. "Alright, I'll leave you two alone before I get bit by the love bug."

"What's that about a love bug?"

Blaine's arms wrapped around Kurt from behind him, and Kurt giggled. "No, I said you bug me, love."

Blaine pouted, resting his chin on Kurt's shoulder. "Oh that's very nice."

"I know." Kurt kissed his cheek. The lights dimmed and the four boys grinned. Kurt looked at Same and Dave, Dave's blushed now hidden by the dim glow of the lights, as Sam cooed at him in Na'vi. "Well boys, shall we?"

Sam looked over and grinned. "Let's do this!"

They all walked in, finding the other glee kids easily, and started to dance as the music filtered in around them. Quinn and Santana, both dateless, danced together, not caring if they had dates, as long as they were having a good time. Brittany danced in Artie's lap, Mike and Tina were dancing together, Puck and Lauren were grinding against each other, as Rachel patiently helped Finn avoid stepping on her feet. Kurt and Blaine danced slowly, despite the popping song, smiling and gazing into each other's eyes. Sam and Dave were doing the same, though they were lip-locking instead of gazing.

It was about five songs into the dance that Blaine pulled away, kissing Kurt. Kurt blinked. "Where are you going?"

Blaine winked. "It's a surprise."

Kurt watched, confused as Blaine ran up to the stage. The dance floor slowed to a stop as the song that had been playing faded away, and Blaine took a mic. "Hey there, my name's Blaine and I'm going to be performing a little something." He smiled, directly at Kurt. "This is for my boyfriend, Kurt Hummel."

Kurt blushed as he felt all eyes on him. From beside him, Dave patted his shoulder and Kurt looked over, grinning.

The music started, and Blaine crooned softly into the mic.

_I never was the kind of boy  
That's naturally sure when it comes to love, oh no  
I was insecure, insecure  
But when it comes to you and me  
I can't deny this feeling inside  
Oh no, I've never been like this before  
This before, oh no!_

Kurt felt his heart pounding as Blaine looked up and their eyes met. He could feel his heart melting inside of his chest, and he smiled softly. Blaine winked at him.

_I'm seeing all the signs from above  
I'm gonna be the one that he loves  
I was made for loving him  
The fashion of his love  
Oh yeah  
I'm gonna be his first and last kiss  
'Cause baby I was born to be his  
I was made for loving him  
The fashion of his love  
I love you_

The dance floor came alive again, couples swinging on each other's arms and dancing around each other. Dave held Sam from behind, swaying slowly as they watched Blaine serenade Kurt. The beat picked up, and Kurt swayed slowly, grinning.

_You know I'd never cheat on a man  
'Cause I'm not like that_

Blaine shrugged, and Kurt laughed.

_I'm physically crafted to be  
As fitting as McQueen  
But when it comes to clothing a man  
I'm fashionably just designed to be rad  
Oh he's, no words that seem to mean  
What I mean, no no!  
No I just can't seem to forget you  
No I can't_

_But just as long as I met you  
You're my babe right through  
I was made for you_

Kurt couldn't stand it any longer. He bolted right up to that stage, where he threw himself into Blaine's arms. Blaine chuckled softly, grabbing the mic off of the stand and holding it to his lips, wrapping an arm around Kurt as they swayed slowly together.

_I'm seeing all the signs from above  
I'm going to be the one that he loves  
I was made for loving him  
The fashion of his love  
Oh yeah  
I'm gonna be his first and last kiss  
'Cause baby I was born to be his  
I was made for loving him  
The fashion of his love_

The music faded slowly into the background, and all Kurt could hear was Blaine's voice, and he felt the way Blaine's eyes bore into him, and Kurt looked right back, a soft smile on his face.

_They say I need a strong man  
Not just a friend  
But baby must have reached his death  
No more reason to cry or to justify  
How I feel for you  
My love_

_I'm seeing all the signs from above_  
_I'm gonna be the one that he loves_  
_I was made for loving him_

_Oh yeah!_

_Oh!_

_I'm seeing all the signs from above  
I'm gonna be the one that he loves  
I was made for loving him  
The fashion of his love  
Oh, oh!  
I'm gonna be his first and last kiss  
'Cause baby I was born to be his  
I was made for  
Made for loving him!  
The fashion of his love_

As the music faded away slowly, and the crowd applauded, Blaine smiled at Kurt.

"I love you."

And there, after months of pulling and pushing, with the entire junior class watching, and among them, friends and family, Kurt and Blaine finally stopped fighting it.

And kissed.


End file.
